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"Live life without regret, while maintaining a positive perspective regardless of the situation!"

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bodyauditor's Stats for February 2008
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Archive for February, 2008

Skinny is as your skinny legs do..

Friday, February 29th, 2008

Posted the long awaited very skinny leg pics tonight…and let’s just face it: There’s just not a whole lot sexy about skinny white legs. However, and in the name of continual improvement, I have admitted that I have a problem. And isn’t that the first step?

 Big and muscular legs will be mine sayeth the dude with skinny legs (that’s me, for you slower folks)!

 Stay tuned and by all means, critique away!

Love the legs your with today!

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

Alright it’s settled. My legs are my enemy, and it’s becoming rapidly more apparent each day, that they just don’t really like me. I go out every three days and blast them like there’s no tomorrow, and they repay me with some soreness, and then wah-lah!…..NOTHING. ZERO. SQUAT. A FAT NADA. ZILCHO. ONE LESS THAN SOMETHING.

Is there any hope for me? Can someone offer me a lifeline? 

I love legs, they hate me.

Here’s the offer and the deal:

For anyone out there who’d be willing to let me in on the secret to leg development, you know the one, the one that actually works for expanding the legs: there’s a bright shiny, brand spanking new quarter that could be yours.

THAT’S RIGHT: A BRAND NEW SHINY QUARTER!!!! BETTER HURRY!

I’m sure that my page will now be flooded with all kinds of offers, so if it is busy and shut down at any time, please try back later.

Parting shots:

-Skinny legged people are people too….

-Skinny legged people will inheret the earth….

-Do it with a skinny legged person today…..

-Skinny legged people are better lovers……

-You haven’t been, until you’ve been a skinny legged person….

-Get out there, with skinny legs….

-Have a skinny legged day….

That’s it……………..or is it….

Skinny legs for president!!!!

Dude, what happened to your legs?

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

Tonights leg workout left me saying, "Dude…."

1.  10 sets of inverted squats

Beginning weight and reps: 225 X 25 Ending weight and reps: 455 X 8

2. 10 sets of inverted calf presses

Beginning weight and reps: 225 X 50 Ending weight and reps: 455 X 20

3. 4 sets of leg extensions

Beginning weight and reps: 100 X 50 Ending weight and reps: 205 X 40

4. 2 sets of stiff legged deads

Beginning weight and reps: 135 X 30 Ending weight and reps: 225 X 15

Random clicks and whistles:

1. Does anyone else almost climax when they complete that perfect set….you know the one: the groove is perfect, the weight is perfect, your target muscle is feeling strong and pumped, the veins are flaring and you can feel the bump and grind of each heart beat in every inch of that muscle……I climaxed during legs tonight……It may be wrong, but I can’t hide the truth.

2. Power sets are really the only way to go. See the movie "Pumping iron" for more…watch how they (Arnold, Franco and Lou) move the weight: machine like, with piston precision…..

3. Anyone else feel like ambushing each of the presidential candidates with paint ball guns would be a blast?

4. Anyone else sick of all the negative people in this world?

5. Can any woman out there, please once and for all tell me what they prefer……boxer’s, brief’s or other?

6. Is it really better to have loved and lost, then to not have loved at all?

7. Anyone else ever feel like hooking up their vehicle to a back harness, slipping the said harness on and subsequently pulling the vehicle around the block a few times? Why do I have these tendencies? Help me mommy!!

8. Anyone else miss football yet?

Parting shot:

Any accomplishment, is far better than any amount of potential unrealized. Make a decision today: convert your potential into accomplishments and make a positve difference in the world.

 

Moving the big iron: 300 pounds at a time!

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

New goal: Move big, lift big, BE BIG!!

Explanation in next blog….. 

Chest Anyone?

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

Anyone else love them some chest?

Some chest one-liners for chest day:

1. Are you interested, I’m chest checking.

2. Call me back in a few minutes, my chest is on fire.

3. Is your chest running?

4. Just say, "chest!"

5. Chest: it tastes great!

6. Chest: Why not?

7. Your zipper’s down………..chest joking, butt made you look. NOTE: For you savvy individuals out there, this was the rarely seen chest and butt one-liner….

8. Have you read any good chests lately?

9. Don’t stress: Think chest!

10. My chest is swollen, and it won’t go down!

And last but not least:

11. My chest thinks it likes you!

Friday chestacular (my word) begins at 2030, tonight! 

Pumping the Fat Muscle!

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

Fat Muscles Gone Wild!
 

Four weeks ago, I went, I looked, I analyzed, I was honest!

Four weeks ago, I decided that my muscles were just plain fat!

Four weeks ago, I was a walking Fat Muscle, gone Wild!

So, to expedite the fat loss process and in order to meet my anticipated bodyfat (BF) goal of 6% by the beginning of April, I made a transition from Heavy Duty muscle-building iron-movements, to that of Blood Volume, muscle-refinement iron-movements. Folks, after roughly six months of Heavy Duty, one set per muscle workouts, I have discovered two things…and thanks to the modern marvel of the internet, I am here to share those two things, as well as some other useless bits of garbled rambling.

Two things I learned along the way to muscle refinement:

  1. While I can without a doubt state that Heavy Duty movements do build muscle, as I have definitely put on some size in all areas of the body…(yes all: imagination break…………………………………
    …..), I can also state that each of my muscles have lost some shape. Gone are the striations, peaks and refinement: In their place, fullness and blunted muscle edges reminiscent of power-lifters, the likes of which graced the earth many generations gone by.
  2. Heavy duty training is not the best way to stay in shape. Here are some stats from four weeks ago:
    1. Bodyweight – 220
    2. BF – 19%
    3. Resting heart-rate – 87
    4. Heavy breathing rating after walking up stairs – pathetic
    5. Pant fit rating – Sucking it in to snap
    6. Shirt sleeve rating – Awesomely tight!!
    7. Second chin rating – Droopy
    8. Strength rating – Improvements each workout!!
    9. Overall rating – Eh, Just okay. While I met most of my goals except for total weight (goal was 230), I put on more fat and became further out of shape than I was anticipating.

So, judging from these stats and most likely needless to say, I made the decision to not only tighten up the diet a bit more by moving my cheat day from every fifth day to every seventh day (or on Saturdays), I also ditched the Heavy Duty training and began the Blood Volume work. I had originally intended to work the Heavy Duty regimen well into my second month of training for the competition which is in April, but given my stats, I had no choice but to make some changes. The following is a comparison sampling of my previously accomplished Heavy Duty back-work versus my currently implemented Blood Volume back-work. Enjoy!

Heavy duty (HD) and Blood Volume (BV) comparison for one back workout session.
 

HD – Back every five days (10 minutes duration)
*One light set of each exercise to ensure muscle memory for range,
before heavy drop-set,
·        Wide-grip pull-downs – One drop set to failure

·        Deadlifts – One drop set to failure

BV – Back every five days (45 -60 minutes duration)
* One light set of floor-cable-pulleys at beginning of workout
·        Floor cable pulleys – 4 X 10 – 20

·        Barbell rows – 4 X 10 – 20

·        Barbell shrugs – 4 X 10 – 20

·        Wide-grip pull-downs – 4 X 10 – 20

·        One arm barbell rows – 2 X 10 – 20 (each arm)

·        Reverse close grip pull-downs – 1 X 50 – 60

This type of comparison would be similar for all bodyparts.

In conclusion and as a result of my switch back to the BV training, the BF is slowly subsiding, the pants are a little less snug and my breathing rate after climbing a set of stairs is no longer indicative of an old fella at the gym on a treadmill watching a nice looking woman from bodyspace, stair-milling directly in front of me.

Side-note: I must say, I have really missed the vascularity which is slowly coming back and the ab-package that is finally starting to peal off its winter coat.

I finish this blogisode off by saying, Arnold was right when he compared pumping-up to the feeling of another recreational activity….I’ll leave it at that.

Parting shot: Hey Congress, Can we just play ball please? – BodyAuditor

Super Bowl fodder: The Ho Chee Mama edition!

Monday, February 4th, 2008

Super Bowl XLII fodder for the Monday after…

1.  First and foremost: NFL analysts across the country….DUDES, BITE ME!! Or more precisely, BITE THE GIANTS…yeah, the same ones you gave no shot for winning the big one….the same ones you all spent the last two weeks saying that they had given it a valiant effort, but since they were now playing with the big boys, playing the game was just a formality…..And as a parting shot for Pat anointers…..YOU GOT IT WRONG…

2.  Thank you Eli for somehow managing to get away from the entire front eight for the Patriots and for lofting that ball out to Big Mike. Concurrently, thank you Mike for utilizing everything, including your helmet, to catch that throw…that was the defining moment of the Championship.

3.  Is there really anything better than Whole wheat tortilla chips and bean, avocado, cheese and salsa dip while watching the SuperBowl?

4.  Is anyone else feeling a bit on the bloated side today after mowing, literally, mowing on the snack food during the Bowl yesterday?…Ho chee Mama…

5.  Now that the euphoria has died down…I’m realizing the off-season has now begun…Well that just bites! August is like, forever from now, right?

6.  Anyone else wonder what Jerry, Tony Romo and the Cowboys were thinking while watching the Giants lift the Lombardi…

7.  My arsenal of snacks for Super Bowl / cheat-day was:

A. Bean dip and tortilla chips

B. Chile Con Queso

C. Olive, Feta, Garlic, Mini-peppers and chicken pizza

D. Sea Salt and Cracked pepper, crinkle potato chips and Habanero salsa

E. Perrier waters

F. Met-RX cookies and cream Food bar chunks

8. Was it just me or were most of the commercials lame? $2.5 million for 30 seconds of air time: I want potentially the most amazing commercial ever made for that price…Top five from my perspective were:

A. Budweiser now offers flame thrower breath: Guy sets girlfriend’s house on fire with breath

B. Tire commercial where animals all screamed when a car threatened to kill a squirrel…best part being the very silent scream from the grasshopper.

C. Pepsi commercial where Joe Buck boinks his head on microphone while listening to Troy Aikman….eventually turns into a night at the Roxbury / Saturday night live skit…

D. Cave men inventing the wheel only to use it for carrying the ice chest made of stone

E. Victoria’s Secret commercial…..suggesting fun and games…after the game…Uh-hum, this may have been the best one…..I know, sad…..Can’t help it, okay?

9.  Two goofy gee whiz points:

A. 5% of all avocados’ sold throughout the year are sold during the week leading up to the Super Bowl….look, you know this will be on Jeopardy someday…so mentally write it down

B. More big screen TV’s are sold on the day before Super Bowl Sunday than any other day throughout the entire year….Probably a “not too much of a shocker” here, yes?….

10.  Anyone else thinking Carmen Electra’s leather and lace party would have been somewhat entertaining?….I heard the tickets, which were originally going for $500 a piece, were getting hawked the day of for $4000….Worth it?

Bonus round

1.  The Patriots loss yesterday was in my estimation, the biggest upset and most disappointing loss probably ever experienced by any team, in any sport, in history! Your thoughts are?

2.  How long do you suppose the flight back to New England had to have been for the Pats?

3.  How much do you suppose the Manning’s (Archie, Peyton, Eli) DNA could be hawked for on e-bay, if they chose to do so? Let’s review: Each of them are All-pro Quarterbacks, two of them were Super Bowl MVP’s and each of them have lead there respective teams to the post season multiple times…..

4.  Early SuperBowl XLIII prediction: Cowboys defeat the Colts, 24-20…Mark it down that you heard it here first.

Parting shot – BE today, for tomorrow may not be. -BodyAuditor



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