The Bloated Bulk Blues
PRESENT.
Here I sit, most likely resembling a very fat chap,
Bloated and full, I feel the need to crap!
In sad shape am I as over the belt, falls my lap,
Feeling drowsy, with all of those recently consumed fats, all I want to do is nap!
PAST.
Four months depleated did I, with few to nary a sugar card,
Ripped to shreds, indeed: My muscles were quite hard!
Proud, shirtless, potent, and virile felt I, surrounded by the masses sporting excessive lard,
Veins exploding, heart a pumping, sweat a pouring: training left my muscles all charred!
PRESENT.
Reached the goal of 10 % bodyfat, set a goal for competing: began a bulk,
Caution, weight gain in progress: will emulate the hulk!
Shoveling the food, gluttonous am I: Feel like Count Ajou, enjoying the plunder as King Fulk,
Now, fat, weight-laden, slothlike: I sit in the puddle-of-flubber known as I, and just sulk!
FUTURE.
Additional pounds number 10: not complete is the current goal, until obtained,
Holidays: the veritable plethora of excellent food, guarantees weight gain will be maintained!
Come late January, a strict diet like a ton of bricks, will instill the feeling of getting caned,
Bodybuilding show in April: shredded, sliced and diced, walking the stage, my prowess will not be contained!
November 13, 2007 at 11:29 pm
this is funny
a special when you look at your picture and comper to this story he he he.
November 13, 2007 at 11:59 pm
It’s good,in a very well peotic form.
November 14, 2007 at 10:12 am
Wow a poet too!
November 14, 2007 at 10:36 am
Very artistic method of evaluating past/present goals and revisiting future ones… I’m still a fan of the Starbucks Ode, though… much more romantic.
November 14, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Very artistic! And, I can REALLY relate to the first part (Present)
November 14, 2007 at 1:22 pm
You know what it’s like to get caned too??? It’s nice to know there are others like you out there.
November 14, 2007 at 5:18 pm
LOL!!!!!!! This entry is a hoot! I love it!
BTW- No body count but a damn funny story. I’ll be putting it on video tomorrow.
November 14, 2007 at 10:10 pm
Love this! So great in many ways!
YOU Creaive!!!
November 15, 2007 at 6:52 am
hmm… I noticed some of the words rhymed. Ever think about writing a poem?
November 15, 2007 at 8:48 am
Love this!!!
November 15, 2007 at 6:19 pm
You know I’m simple minded…so the pictures helped me alot…lol No bro another great blog!
November 15, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Great blog!! I can totally relate to the fat parts seeing as I’m turning into the blob right before my very eyes. All in all another award winning blog!!
November 16, 2007 at 8:39 am
Yes, GREAT blog and fantastic image selections, too.
Scott, you always come up with winners!
November 17, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Have to scribble here again! Trivia: Mike Mentzer (one of the images accompanying your poem) graduated from Ephrata High School - my alma mater. His brother Ray Mentzer was a member of the high school’s 30 pin club in wrestling. Although I have a hometown allegience to the Mentzer Bros., that pic of Frank Zane says "BODYBUILDING" to me. Vacuum! Huzzah!
November 19, 2007 at 7:09 am
You’re such a clever person. Very well stated. I feel the same as you do…but at least I get to eat, eat, eat during the holidays!
November 19, 2007 at 6:54 pm
He’s a poet and didn’t even know it! His feet sure are Longfellows! Great work Big Scott!
November 21, 2007 at 6:40 am
Very funny, Scott! Enjoy the Thanksgiving feast
November 21, 2007 at 8:01 pm
OK, I was going to compose an ode to the crouton (which I gave up on my salads) or pie (which I will probably eat tomorrow), bit I like yours much better. Happy Thanksgiving
November 26, 2007 at 9:14 pm
Very nice…and the pics, a very nice touch.
November 28, 2007 at 9:15 am
Cool post!!!
December 4, 2007 at 6:06 pm
I feel you!