Memoirs of a reluctant Bulker

The following is an intellectually stimulating articulation by the pen-master of frivolous fodder: The Body Auditor.

1. If we put our jeans, boxers and panties on, why don’t we put on our underwears and bras?

2. Why does road rage still exist? How many people will have to get shot before we as an "intelligent" species realize that road rage is short for imminent peril?

3. Why do some people on bodyspace have a billion people in their stalking category, and then subsequently request others as their friend without so much as a comment or note? On a side note here, these people from here and forever more shall be known as, "Trollers."

4. Why worry about something negative someone else says about you, either to you in person, written, or when you are not around? Worrying about the personal opinions someone else holds towards you accomplishes??????? Anything? Didn’t think so. Blow it off man!

5. Why do dogs love to stick their heads outside the window of a car blowing down the highway at 90 miles per hour, but will not put up with a human blowing on their nose?

6. If human’s could clean themselves like dogs and cats…..would they? And if so, would it be legal to do so in public?

7. Why do some people with large SUV’s also have sticker’s stating, "Save the environment: think green," on the back bumper?

8. Why do fans at sporting events yell four letter epithats at the athletes and then throw beer bottles on the field or court? Why do they feel they have that right?

8a. Why aren’t professional athletes allowed to go into the stands and or bleachers and beat the crap out of the unruly fans mentioned in number 8? Personally, I’d pay to see that!

9. How is it that some people can propagate and never want to be a part of the subsequent childs life? I really don’t understand how this happens….I love my kids and can’t even imagine a scenario where I wasn’t allowed or didn’t want to be a part of their lives.

10. Why do Brown Nosers at work continue to brown nose? Do they actually get somewhere at your workplace? They are mocked by co-workers and abused by the brown nosee where I work.

11. Why do some people live the Gothic or Emo lifestyle? Let’s review: You get yourself as pail or dark as possible, wear only black, create an atmosphere of depression and speak of hate at all times. What is the allure to this lifestyle? What is their recruitment decree?

12. Why don’t we just go and drop small tactical nukes on countries who harbor terrorist activities at all? Don’t we most likely know which countries are involved with terrorism? Why don’t we just give out a blanket statement such as: "Attention Terrorist supporting countries! America will no longer attmept negotiations with countries supporting terror in any way. From this moment forward, if your country is found to be involved with terrorism in any way, one verbal warning will be given for the cessation of those activities. If said activities continue, your country will be delivered a small tactical nuke, large enough in size to ensure that your country will no longer have the capability of sustaining any form of activity: terrorist in nature or not. Thanks for your cooperation in advance!" I’d vote for this…..

13. Uni-brows. Why do we still see these?

14. Any female with a mustache? Check the definition of a mustache in the dictionary if you are unsure if you should have one.

15. Larger humans and tight biker shorts? Why? Just why?

Bonus thought:

Remember the past, learn from the past, don’t live in the past. Look at the future, dream, be proactive, but do not long for tomorrow….REMEMBER TODAY!! For today is where the seeds for tomorrow’s harvested crops are sewn. Live for today, without regret!

Bodyauditor out: An awesome weekend, I wish to you all!

Remember 

This entry was posted on Friday, September 21st, 2007 at 4:01 pm and is filed under Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.