Memoirs of a reluctant Bulker

So right there in front of me for most of the daily commute was a buffed out four-by-four truck with a great lift, great tires, great paint job, great dual chrome exhaust, great limo-tint, and a billet grill. Awesome and dare I say "great truck," right? WRONG!! Because right there in the middle of the back window was a huge sticker of Calvin (ya know, of Calvin and Hobbs fame) flipping me off, giving me the bird, telling me I’m number one, informing me of his IQ or his p*nis size…You get my drift.

The preceding was an example of a rash of "Stupid Stickers" that I have noticed becoming more prevelant as of late: at least in the three different states I frequent here in the Southwest. I’m just having a hard time wrapping myself around this latest fad. So, before I put in my two cents (potentially less than), here are a few more examples of "Stupid Stickers," I’ve seen as-o-late:

1. The two sticker, naked angel / devil lady combo. What does this mean? A naked angel lady, and a naked devil lady? Which one is going to give the good advice? The naked Angel lady? Does it matter, because they are both naked? Just not sure what the message is with this one.

2. A stick dude urinating on a plethora of symbols / emblems. Example: Stick figure dude is urinating on a CHEVY symbol. Ya know, I’ve owned about twenty different vehicles in my life-time, ranging from domestic to foreign, car to truck, etc. And honestly, is one brand really that much better than the other? I don’t think so. And beyond the vehicle thing, why would you want a sticker of anything that is peeing on your vehicle? It’s peeing…Hello….just thoughts.

3. A Sticker that typically will have a vehicle emblem in the middle with the words, "Bad A** Dudes / Chicks drive Bad A** (Vehicle name inserted here). Example FORD, "Bad A** dudes drive Bad A** Fords!" REALLY? So, if I go purchase a Ford, I’ll automatically be a bad a** Dude? Or do you actually have to be a bad a** dude or chick to purchase the Ford in the first place? Will the dealer turn me away if I’m looking to buy a Ford truck, and the on-the-ball salesperson identifies me as a less-than bad a**? Just curious.

4. Anything Political. When was the last time you changed your mind about anything remotely political due to the bumper sticker you saw on that broken down VW bus? Honestly, I’m not going to change my view of our president because you saw it fit to put a sticker on your vehicle bumper that states, " Geroge W. was wrong." Unfortunately, when I see something on someones bumper that is contrary to my political views….yep, you guessed it: I think to myself, "What a goober."

5. Okay last example (although there are a myriad more) is not actually a sticker. It’s the actual plastic molding of a set of bulls ba**s that hang from the tow-hitch of typically large pick-up trucks. The only thing I have to say here is……WHY?

 Can someone please explain to me, the reasoning behind putting sticker’s (or other things, (ref. 5)) on a vehicle, regardless if it’s a stud mobile or a downright beater, that either are intended to irritate, provoke emotions of a negative nature, or are sexual or political in theme? I’m getting up into the gerriatric sect now, and maybe that has everything to do with it, but I just don’t get why anyone would want to send a consistently negative message to their fellow drivers who might or might not be packing heat! Do these "Stupid Sticker" appliers not understand that their little message to the rest-o-the world is seen by potentially thousands of innocent bystanders each day?

Two words and some advice for the "Stupid Sticker" appliers of the world: ROAD RAGE. Hello, if you’re randomly flipping someone off through the so-called humor of your recently applied "Stupid-Sticker," you might just deserve everything you get as a result. People have bad days. All People! Yep, even the ones that carry guns, num chucks, throwing stars, brass knuckles, and tazers.

So, in closing, if you are thinking of applying that recently purchased Sticker of a stick dude urinating on a Dallas Cowboys symbol…..I ask that you think twice: in the name of protecting yourself from a potential a** beating, and / or keeping our society from regressing any further in regards to its sanity. 

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 10th, 2007 at 8:25 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.