Memoirs of a reluctant Bulker

Ya know, this blog is long overdue my friends, and I gotta tell you, it’s one I’ve told myself time and time again must be written for the advancement of peoplekind (my word by the way). LOL or Laugh out Loud, as well as LMAO or Laugh my a** off, OMG or Oh My God, are just a few examples of phrases that unfortunately, have come to the point in their usefullness, that they are more tired than cute, catchy and creative. How many times have you read these phrases here on bodyspace, in email, a text or even a blog? Too many, right? I have read some messages that can’t go more than two sentences without using LOL repeatedly…..Honestly, how many times can you really Laugh Out Loud in response to one idea? The following is an example of not only how overused these phrases can be, but how annoying they can get after the first million times they are used:

"OMG You! Your pictures look great LOL. I am gonna have to burn a copy for my refrigerator LOL. Yep, you’re right, OMG I’m such a goober LMAO. OMG I think that you should just eat the Twinkie anyway LOL. Better write back soon OMG and LOL, because I am gonna go to the store and buy that Twinkie for you if you don’t LMAO!"

I suppose you get the picture. So, I propose some new acronyms that are witty, edgy and potentially awe inspiring. The following will be the spelled out new-phrase with its acronym in parenthesis, and then a short example sentence (and potentially warning note) demonstarting the acronyms proper usage:

1. Spanked Em Good (SEG) - "Had a brutally rough workout tonight (SEG)."

2. Holy Schnikes (HS) - "(HS) Your new pics are smoking hot." -This one typically will be used at the beginning of a sentence so it might require a little practice at home before a successful application might be logged.

3. Extreme Doofus (ED) - "I couldn’t help myself: the cheesecake just looked so good, and she was so hot, I had to have a bite….what an (ED) I am." -Now, this acronym is also used to indicate a male sexual disorder, so an appropriate usage and audience check might be necessary before utilization.

4.  Sweet Mother of All that is Holy (SMATH) - "(SMATH), I was so on-fire after reading the BodyAuditor’s blog about his World Gym workouts that I had to go and blast my arms too (SMATH)!" - Note: this was an example of an advanced double-usage-acronym and therefore is most likely not appropriate for utilization by certified ED’s.

5. Peed My Pants (PMP) -  "Remember that one guy who forgot to put the collars on the curl bar and then proceeded to let the twenty-fives slip off the end?….Remember how funny his expression was when he realized the one plate fell right onto Ronnie’s big toe? (PMP)"

6. Like a Giant Turd (LGT) - "Dude, my workout stunk tonight (LGT)!"

7. What a Righteous Babe (WRB) - Did you see ChickenTuna’s new avi? (WRB)!!!!!

8. Dude’s A Monster (DAM) - "Yeah, I saw Ronnie at the show (DAM)!"

9. Obviously Photo Shopped (OPS) - "Did you see that one girl’s avi with the school dress on (OPS)?"

10. Not An Expert (NAE) - "Well, your conundrum sounds quite serious. Now, I’m (NAE) but I have found that if you soak ‘em in baby oil and then give ‘em a good rub down, they’ll begin to feel much better immediately. Would you like for me to try?"

 Alright, well that does it for now. Remember, you are NAE at this, so tread lightly as you begin to throw these things around, some folks might become uncomfortable upon seeing new phrases.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 2nd, 2007 at 2:44 pm and is filed under Training, Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.