MASS monster, I love you!!
As it often does, it shocked me when the numbers on the scale struggled mightily to reach two-hundred and ten pounds. Sure, I can look in the mirror and see that the cuts and vascularity which had long since left are grudgingly coming back, but it always is painful to see the scale going in a direction you are not necessarily looking for. Now, don’t get all weird on me and stuff, I’m gonna continue on with the leaning phase for a minimum of two more months, to see how lean I can get… All I’m saying is……’Oh bulking phase, Oh bulking phase….wherefore art thou, bulking phase?’
Absolutely, I am trying to lose fat! What other reason would a sane (this is probably debatable for reasons other than the diet, BTW) adult prepare and gratefully consume a giant troft of spinach greens, carrots, edema me, broccoli, snap peas, almonds, egg whites, and chicken breast a few times a day? And sure, the absence of 6,000,000 milligrams of sodium and 140,000,000 milligrams (might be exaggerated) of other ingredients used in processing, has me feeling like a newborn baby buried deep inside his Mama’s bosom, but HEY, I love getting BIG…BBBBIIIIIGGGGG (low-growly voice works best when saying last word)…BIG, is what I have wanted for ooohhhhh sssoooo long now. I’ve spent the last twenty-one years putting on fifty pounds of muscle all the while lifting the big weights. I love moving heavy iron…BIG IRON. It has defined me…..
Yep, I love to scream loud and proud when moving some hefty steely-grained material in ways most……yes sir!! most individuals can only dream of. I still remember moving my first four-hundred pound bench press in the Air Force….Granted, it was at Grissom AFB and by many standards, a small base, but it felt good to be the bench press king for awhile. I remember pushing the heavy stuff back at Texas Tech University, in the REC at 1100 PM at night, when only a few twisted iron-freaks were still wreaking havoc on their already blistering with fire muscles. UUUURRRRAAAAHHHH, I’m getting the goose-flesh right now just thinking about those days (You too?)…..Great bonfire’s of Chicken Breast and Flax based cereal flakes, yes those chills and tingles are all up and down my spine and neck…..Euphoria central right here folks….That……that right there is what the heavy lifting is all about.
You scream, you look at the impossible, you clap your hands and watch the chalk fly all around you…..right before you take up that barbell (that is begging you to take some plates off it), and slam a few reps out with it. The tremendous thunderclap produced by the ungodly amount of weight falling back on to the poor bench, will make you an iron pushing addict for life!!! I AM SEETHING WITH UNBRIDLED PASSION RIGHT NOW….SO HIGH….SO ON FIRE…..WOW, MAMA GET ME OFF THIS CRAZY THING……Okay….coming down now……calming down…in with the good, out with the bad…..alright I’m back….sorry about that, I can’t help it sometimes.
Look, I’m all about the girls checking out my abs when I’m at the park, swimming in the ocean, running naked through the mall (whoops, that slipped out), or whatever, but I also love the tight fitting shirts, the big lifts and listening to co-workers who haven’t seen me in sometime say, “Holy Muscle builder Bat Man (they might not say that first part), what in the name of the African sparrow’s mating dance (or this) are you doing to get so big?” Yeah, that’s an ego-booster right there…..what can I say??
Welp, gotta go, there’s a giant troft of green stuff waiting for me, and OH YEAH, I am shaking with foamy mouthed anticipation……TBC…..
May 25, 2007 at 12:59 pm
You ever think about writing for a living you have some really good post. I know that feeling though, thankfully it only last a couple of weeks and you get comfortable in your new skin. Keep dieting hard!!!