Memoirs of a reluctant Bulker

Another man and his woman attempt to access the hotel gym: Like the others before them, once they bare witness to the wild-eyed, scary-on-some-levels, muscled-being moving the entire stack of weight on the joke of an exercise machine, they fearfully turn and skitter away. Without even a hint of care towards anything other than punishing its chest at all cost, the sweaty, smelly, loud and powerful looking mass monster, drops the minor league stack with a tremendous boom. The being, of obvious alien decent, surveys the highly aesthetically pleasing and modern landscape that make up this Romper-room of an iron-moving facility. Longing for the bleak and dismal, muscle-punishing, mind-correcting, torture-chamber it normally consumes, the creature removes its shirt, and recreates two of the greatest bodybuilding poses of all time: The right-side chest, and the full-on most-muscular. Partially intending to surmise the effects of a diet which it had recently implemented: Partially to further annoy and scare off any other hotel guests, who might courageously contemplate nearing the unleashed animal.

Alright, maybe that’s not exactly how my chest workout went tonight here in the Vegas hotel……or is it? HHHhhmmm, who can know? Surprisingly, I did actually have a good workout tonight. Much impart, I’m sure, due to the fact that I love working me some chest. That’s right, I said love. Now don’t get all mushy on me, because it’s not a romantic, sweetheart type of love….nope, it’s more of the TOUGH love variety, that is usually seen between two UFC fighters.

Working chest has always been and probably will always be one of my favorite things in life to do. I love the burn, I love the pump, I love the effort exerted, and I love the pain, if I’m lucky enough to be sore over the next couple of days. Many a family member, friend, co-worker, and acquaintance have mentioned to me that I am obviously demented in some capacity because of this inherently sick desire for torturous workouts. For me, I cannot understand how a person cannot enjoy the feeling of a great workout, even if it is accompanied by a given degree of pain. I look forward to the self-induced body-wrenching that takes place in my Hardcore house five days a week: However, day two, which is devoted strictly to chest, is the day I most lust after!

So, being in a hotel, how did I accomplish blasting the part of my body that, when full of blood, consumes my entire being with a sense of euphoria? A eupohric feeling similar to that of sex……yep, I said sex (don’t ask, I can’t explain). Here it is:

5 sets of 10 - low grip machine presses (220 pound stack*)

5 sets of 10 - high grip machine presses (*)

6 sets of 10 - pec deck (140 pound stack)

200 push-ups…accomplished sets until 200 completed.

Now back to the story…..

The booming seemed to be coming from the workout facility on campus, Johnny the concierge thought to himself as he ran to see exactly what the noises could be. Hurriedly he ran passed many a frightened guest, hopping with great agility their dropped and left behind bags. When he finally was able to bear witness to the sight which was in no way something he had ever seen in person, he froze in his tracks: Paralyzed by an overwhelming fear of the monstrosity making its way towards him. The potential brobdingnagian, pulled open the door of the facility with such ease that it banged heavily against the wall; producing a tremendous thump. The beast acknowledged Johnny with a nod: an acknowledgement that was not reciprocated, due to Johnny’s incapacitated state. The behemoth, having experienced this type of reception before, pushed passed Johhny and quicly dissappeared from sight….never to be seen again. 

Loud, obnoxious, intense, iron-pushing in a polished, pompous hotel envrionment?

Shear enjoyment, my friends!!!!!!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 24th, 2007 at 6:55 pm and is filed under Training, Other. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.