Future Pro E.L.

So I have decided not compete this year.  I’ve been ducking comps for the past two years.  I really really want to compete, but all the factors aren’t in place.  The biggest thing is money. This damn sport is so friggin expensive with little to no return.  I have met a lot of competative bodybuilders and fitness competitors and the one thing they have in common is that they are PAID!  There are no broke competitors. LOL.  I love this ish so much, but I can’t afford to compete.  Besides the money, my mind isn’t ready for this.  Competition prep is an unnecessary stress right now. 

That being said, my foucs for the time being will be on school and getting my money right.  I’m going to take a hiatus from posting pics and whatnot.  However, I will be continuing to diet for leanness so I can see more of my weaknesses and have a better starting point.  I don’t want to get fat again. That ish is not cute.  I want to stay in single digit body fat even in off season.  I believe I can still add size and do this, I just have to be really particular about what I eat.  So that’s it, and I’m out!

It is my dream to become an IFBB professional bodybuilder, but how exactly do I do that?  There is so much effort that goes into making it to that level. So much sacrifice and so much money poured into a sport that has very little return unless you are in the upper echelon of competitors.  That being said, there is the obvious issue that one has to take into account when in pursuit of a Sandow.  To juice or not to juice.  I have nothing against anyone who uses steroids, point blank.  However, I cannot in good conscience do it myself.  I might as well give up my dream now, cuz I’m not going to be a pro without them right?  Also, while I have some natural strengths in my physique, I am far from a genetic freak like the pros.  Even without drugs these guys would still be freaks.  That is what most pros are, freaks + Juice = IFBB.  Where does that leave me? With the drive to do something that has not been done before.  I will become a Pro athlete without illegal anabolics. Now I didn’t say I wouldn’t use every OTC legal alternative there was, including hormone rich chicken breasts and beef.  If anabolic steroids were legal, I would totally be on them. I just don’t want to go to jail.  
Please, please , please don’t bore me with the alleged and slightly documented risks of steroid use.  Now prolonged steroid "abuse", may be troublesome, but a cycle every now and then doesn’t seem so bad. My words may haunt me someday, especially when my goal is to be a public figure.  I want to be a "transparent" person, and genuine to anyone who meets me or reads about me.  That being said, I think maybe I can go for this 202 and under division. Not sure how that will look on my 5′10" frame, but my guess it will be pretty impressive.

I’m a bit frustrated.  Damned frustrated actually.  My body won’t do what it’s told.  You know what? It is actually. I have been so ****ing negative during this prep, and its killing my progress.  I’m sad, to be honest.  I am not happy at work, and not really liking being single.  All this stress is welling up inside me and destroying my mental focus and positivity. 

Hey man I am very approachable even if I don’t look like it. I know a lot of folks that don’t want to be bothered during their workouts, but I don’t give a ****. I can still get a good workout in and answer questions or have a brief conversation.  I’m working on celebrity status and you gotta be a people person.  I want my fans to say that E.L. is an awesome athlete and a really nice guy.  Ask if you can spot me, I can usually use that.  I really don’t mind.  I rarely get to talk about the sport that I love to other people, so I look forward to those sorts of dialogues. 

So my disappearing trainer has returned.  He was gone only for a short while and for circumstances beyond his control.  Say what you may about James, he’s a good trainer.  I trust him with my regimen.  I have made lots of improvements since I started working with him.  That being said, I have to make more improvements.  Mostly, I need to improve my perception of myself.  I am extremely hard on myself and it is hurting me rather than helping.  Too much negativity flows through my thoughts, and thoughts become things.  I want to focus on more positive things so that they can become my reality.  Truth is that I have great potential in everything I do.  I will be one of the best in this sport some day.  I have ten weeks to do something amazing with my body.  I will not shock the world, but jaws will drop when I’m done.  In the end I will be on top, and will be hard to knock me down. 

Well I think I lost my trainer.  Just up and disappeared on me.  No worries, I’m capable of getting ready for my contest.  He gave me a lot of great ideas to work with.  I believe I am down to 223 lbs , I feel good and not so good at the same time about that.  I want to see faster fat loss.  My goal is to get down to 195, so I can be at the top of the light heavy class.  I don’t want to be at the low end of the heavies. Those guys are big.  I’m 5′10", so I won’t look as big compared to some of the shorter guys.  That’s why my conditioning needs to be on point.  I think I have good symmetry, and hopefully my back width doesn’t overpower my legs.  I have cut back a little how how I train my back.  I really want the thickness, but it seems like every exercise I do, contributes to my width.  I don’t know how much size I can realistically add to my legs over the next two months, but I am going to try.  Overall I feel pretty good about my training and diet.

So I’m doing two shows back to back with two weeks in between.  Does anybody know a safe way to do this?  I imagine that I have to deplete water twice.  But how do I do this without jacking up my electrolyte balance?  Have any of you ever done this?

My trainer James (King James) has changed up my training program.  I am doing two-a-days now.  Much like the pro athletes do.  We’re doing two days on and one day off training split.  Today was all upper body work.  The two-a-days give me an extra "anabolic window" to work with , which should help me build more muscle as I lean out.  My carbs are pretty low during the day other than around the times when I train.  I’m also doing 20 minutes of high intensity cardio following my lifting sessions.  I will admit that I skipped my second cardio session tonight, because I was just so spent after lifting again.  
I trust my trainer, and I believe he will have me ready for my shows.  My weight has not changed in the past three weeks, but I am losing fat.  I’m seeing the difference mostly in my arms and shoulders. My love handles are shrinking too.

Alright, I am so very proud of myself because I did a whole 60 minutes of cardio. Damn I  hate it so, but today it wasn’t so bad. I did three different machines for 20 mins each.  That worked well for me.  Burned about 600 calories in all.  My plan is to get in at least an hour of cardio 6 days a week. I’m going back to the gym this evening after work to do another hour. I have ten weeks to get ready for the Dexter Jackson classic and I’ve got at least 25lbs to drop before then. I gotta go hard, maybe extra hard for this.  I want a great showing. I’m looking forward to see how I compare to some really good athletes.

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