Bluebird88’s BodyBlog

Today will be first day with my new trainer…I’m excited to work hard and see results. Today, he will also give me my meal plan and I plan to hit the grocery store right after my session and prepare my meals for the week. I met another one of his clients the other day and she has lost 7lbs in a month or so (even though she’s been training for a few months-but she told me, she recently decided to take the diet seriously). At our initial meeting last week, he told me wanted me to train w/weights 1st and then 45 mins. of cardio…He sort of gave me an idea of what my meal plan will consist of (lean protein, complex carbs, fruits only during the earlier part of the day, veggies, almonds, etc…). He also told me he wanted me to eat a little bit of fat at night (i.e. small serving of peanut butter on celery). I will get more info today at my session. For the month of Sept. and Oct. I will be training 2/week and 1/week in November. He wants me to loose 20lbs of fat and gain 10lbs of muscle…I’m ready to reclaim my body!!! ~~~~~~~

I completed a 20 minute HIIT routine during my lunch break. I ran at 8.5 and up (highest 9.0) for 1 minute and cooled down for 2 minutes…repeated for 20 minutes with a 5 minute warm-up and cool down. It wasn’t so bad, well, I think that’s due to the fact that I use to sprint when I ran track…I will see if this helps to shake this stubborn fat!

Later tonight I think I might hit the gym again, but I am not sure. I am expecting company so it depends on the time that they leave…

And I am still weighing in the mid-150’s…

This weekend was very tough for me, I’ve become discouraged on a number of occassions but I will NOT give up (however, I am becoming indifferent about my weight loss) On Saturday, I was feeling down about the fact that I am not losing weight (I told my hubby maybe I am supposed to look this way). Yeah, yeah, I know diet, diet, diet…which I’ve cleaned up a lot. Why is it that some people can stop drinking soda for a month and lose 10lbs (without even looking a gym)? And people like me who workout all the time is not seeing any results (and I’ve made significant changes to my diet)…Is there some weight loss gods toying with me?

Sooooo…I’ve been relying more on measurements because the scale is too depressing. Now, from the looks of it, I’ve lost some inches. BUT, I am not sure if I measured myself correctly in the FIRST place so the measurements are not a good indictator IMO. Then there’s the clothes test, well, the stuff I couldn’t fit in closet 2 months, I still can’t FIT!! I laugh at this because my body isn’t responding…So now, I am going to do something differently, (I am going to stop trying, I know above I said I wouldn’t stop but I feel differently now-LOL…) I will just buy bigger clothes to fit my current size 8 and keep it moving…I will continue to workout daily but as far as trying to get abs/arms of steel…if they come they come…no matter how much weight I lift (regardless of going to failure) my body is very stubborn and is holding on to all of this fat!!! Nothing is working (not even a 2lb loss in 2 months)…I will continue to eat clean…I will continue to do weights, cardio, protein shakes, etc…but I am really starting not to care at all…

It’s now lunch time…heading back to the gym to do HIIT…Another long training week ahead with zero pound weight loss by next week! Fun & encouraging stuff!!

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*headphones on-excuse grammatical errors*

At about 2pm I went downstairs to the cafe (where there is a ton of tempting foods) to pick up some batteries for my MP3 player…While in line I was looking around for something to grab (knowing that I really didn’t want or need anything). As my eyes panned around the cafe, all I could see was unhealthy snacks (from the candy bars, chips, sugary energy drinks, coffee drinks (we have a knock-off Starbucks called Jazzman’s), pastries, etc…all I could think was "I really don’t want any of this"…so I picked up my batteries and got in line to pay.

Well, in front of me was a young lady who ordered some tea and a Oatmeal cookie (they are jumbo size here and they look like pancakes)…and I was thinking I could easily grab one of those and eat it and no one would know…Then I looked at the lady buying the cookie and I thought (does she really want that? why is buying it? not in a self-righteouos way)…then I thought maybe she is hungry, maybe she is tired (it’s Friday and she probably ready to go home), is she bored, is she PMS’ing…I went on and on…but then I thought, why do I want the cookie? Then I realized that all I came down here for is batteries and now I am having a mental showdown with an Oatmeal cookie-LOL, I laughed to myself and said…Well, today the cookie isn’t going to win…I AM! So I paid for my batteries, headed back to my desk and grabbed some water-LOL

The funny thing is, I already knew what the cookie tasted like "they are grainy and sort of dry"…I was like this cookie sure isn’t worth it the "cheat"…Speaking of cheats, I think they are overRATED (well, only because I don’t have the discipline right now, to have just ONE cheat)…They spill over into the next meal, the next day and so on…So I’ve decided not to think of pizza as cheats but an lowfat Frap from Starbucks instead (or coffee with SF syrup)…I’ve realized that I can’t eat my cheats right now…(because I just want to eat more!-LOL)…Yeah, I know that drinking stuff can cause you to crave more…but I "think" I can handle this one…If not, I am sure it will make it into my blog-LOL

Also, I am not going to worry so much about cheating, but rather gaining control over what I put in my mouth…Tonight I will eat like it’s any "regular" night of the week (I am thinking of making a chicken, feta, spinach omelet for dinner-ummm good!! plus I think I will have a side of grilled aspargus).

Hungry!!!

After dinner (shrimp and asparagus), my stomach was like "feed me more" about 2 hours later-LOL so I went for a SF Banana/Chocolate pudding (umm good)…but that didn’t help much after about 45 mins. Instead of trying to find something else to eat, I went to bed and I to be honest I didn’t sleep to well…but it’s a new day!

I think I need to increase my calorie intake to sustain a 2/day workout. So this morning I was ready to eat and I did (egg white omelet w/onions/green peppers and a hit of cheese)-literally a hint-LOL and I had about a cup of strawberries and water. I don’t feel satisfied and I am looking over at some fresh blueberries I’ve got at my desk. I don’t feel bad because at least I am chosing fruit and/or nuts over junk!!! Downstairs in the cafe there are all types of tempting stuff (brownies, muffins, pancakes, donuts, scones, turnovers, etc…) and to top it off today they are having a sundae bar (2 scoops of ice cream) with all the trimings….Well, I won’t be eating ANY of that!!

Today, I’ve decided that the gym will only be seeing me once today (if that) trying to decide if I want to take the day completely off…Tomorrow, it’s cardio and a total body workout, Sunday I’m taking off! So, I’ll figure it out…

I am finally excited again…I am taking Master classes in a few weeks and I really feel like I am going to lose this weight! (and looking forward to wearing all of the clothes I’ve outgrown)-LOL

*disclaimer-I have on headphones w/music so there might be a ton of grammatical errors in my blog(s)* Hey I need them to help pass my day at work-LOL 

Today for lunch I packed some roasted chx (store brought) and a baked yam and it was actually pretty good. I was surprised, I guess I only eat yams during the holidays so to have one at the beginning of August had all of my coworkers asking about it-LOL I put a small pat of butter (my cafe have small butter packets, and I use 1/2 of it) and cinnamon on it…(next time I think I will add 1/2 teaspoon of brown sugar).

I am heading to the gym in a few minutes…(45mins of cardio) here I come!! Yesterday, I had a really good leg workout and today I feel great!

Oh, yesterday I stopped by GNC and picked up a small carton of Muscle Milk (chocolate). I wanted to try a small one before I purchased the powder. And it was actually really good (I tried it after my workout) Then I headed to Vitamin World to get me some more of my Nectar and I saw that they had some cold Muscle Milk in the frig (picked up a Banana Cream one). This morning I tried the banana cream and it was good too…I use to be afraid to try different proteins because most of them were NASTY!! But so far Nectar and Muscle Milk is pretty good.

Today, I really feel like I can do this! My hubby is surprised for the 1st time because he sees that I am packing my lunch daily, coming home preparing food for the next day. I know he’s heard me complain about my weight/body and watched me start a regime only to quit it a few days later. Although, I am not doing this for him, I do want to make him proud! I want him to see me set a goal, work hard at it and achieve it! Sometimes I think he believes in me more than I believe in myself. He is always encouraging me to "just do it" and this time around I want to show him that I can do it!

He loves me just the way I am and I appreciate that…but I am not quitter!! I am not a quitter, I am not a quitter! I can do this!! I will do this!!!

Celery sticks with low fat ranch dressing (low in sugar) and it’s not too bad…*And yes, I measured out the dressing*LOL

I’ve decided to focus more on my eating and cardio and so far its been going pretty good. This past weekend I headed to the grocery store and picked up some good for you foods. I’ve been thinking that I need to take my diet back to the basics of good nutrition. Eating fresh fruits/veggies, organic chicken, organic low fat milk, etc…things good for overall health. Being in shape and toned is only one aspect of good health, I want to make sure I am treating (feeding) my body right!

At the gym I completed 45 mins of cardio (moderate intensity)…Heading back this evening for LEGS!!!! LEGS!!! and cardio…

So I’ve decided to focus on cardio for the next month (until the end of August)… I really need to drop this weight so I am going to watch my calories (1800 max) and do more cardio. During my lunch break I am going to do 45 mins of cardio and in the evenings I am gong to do another 45-50 mins of cardio (4-5 days/week). I still plan to weight train but I am going to make cardio my focus for a while. I will mix it up between high intensity and low intensity so that I don’t get bored. I’ve also decided to take spinning (2week) and give some of the classes at my gym a try. Tonight is Urban Iron…

First, I want to thank everyone that encourage me to press on!! From my close melt down the other day, I decided to take 2 days off from training. Yesterday, I couldn’t resist and did cardio but today no gym and I think I will take tomorrow off too. But Saturday, I will be at my 10am spinning class! Even though I’ve pulled back from the gym for 2 days, I’ve been on my meal plan (started South Beach yesterday-2 days down 12 to go for Phase 1)…I hope to make a little progress from SB, if not…well, I will be at my Dr.’s office first thing that morning-LOL

I am trying to encourage myself, I really am….At this point I am going to take things slowly!

I am sooooooooo tired! I don’t know what to do, I love working out and weight training and my diet has improved but I am not losing any weight! My spirit is very heavy because my body is not responding to the cardio or weights! I do cardio twice a day (and intense) and I weight train sometimes 2/day too. I am a little stronger but overall that’s it. I still weigh 150+ pounds. I am having a mental breakdown because I feel like I will never reach my goal. After about 5 weeks I’ve only lost 2lbs!!! I feel like I am failing!!!I come here daily for ideas, inspiration and I love this site, but being inspired isn’t anything if there isn’t any action behind it! I’ve switched my rountine, I lifted heavier weights but I only have 2lb weight loss and a .4 body fat loss!! Great!! yeah RIGHT!!

Maybe this is the body I am supposed to have! I guess sooo because it is not working with me. And I’ve given up junk food, eating better, less calories, more protein etc…maybe it’s the cheat meals (even though they are not a lot).

 I feel like I am falling and I can’t get up! I know I’ll hit the gym today/twice and keep going but I feel like my body won’t respond to it! I am sick of holding my "gut" in!!

 Pissed, angry, crying and hurt!!! Most of ALL feeling defeated and confused!!!!!!!

What else is there for me to do?