Live like you were dying and Lift like you were trying
I don’t know why it hit me so suddenly, amybe it was the hard workout this morning, maybe the fact that it was a nice sunny day (finally), but as I was making my 3/4 mile walk from the gym to work, it finally hit me. F*ck, why the hell am I so down all the time! I should be living every day to its fullest and not wallow in self-pity. So starting right now, there is a new me… no more crying mo more poor me. I am going to walk tall, head high and say to myself, I am a damn good person and to hell with anyone who doesn’t think so. I am going to start doing things I have always wanted to do but did not have the balls to do. In my life I have done 2 crazy things (that I can think of sober at least LOL) and I want to share them with you all.
The first thing was (and no Americans, not all Canadians do it LOL) the polar bear dip. For those in the souththat doesn’t know what that is, basically in the middle of winter, they cut a huge hole in the ice and a bunch of people jump in…. just because…that day was -20 outside so it actually felt warmer in the water. It was so exhilerating, and no I didn’t get sick afterwards.
The other thing was about 10 years ago, as part of a radio contest/promotion, I had to go to all four corners of a very busy rush hour intersection. OK so what right? Well, I was completely naked! I had a cell phone with me and the DJs of the radio station was having me do things as I was walking, like trying to order at McDonalds or asking people for directions. Again, I felt so free. It was such a wonderful feeling.
It’s time to get that feeling back. I don’t know what my next feat will be but when it happens I will let you all know.
Also, my great friend Steph (daretosoar) has just agreed on a little contest! Upon discussion we have discovered that although our lifts are different, the 3 main powerlifting lifts when added together is VERy close to one another… She has a stronger bench, but my deadlift and squat are stronger. So at the bash, we are going to have a powerlifting contest with a bottle of Cytolean as a prize. We will have the circle there cheering us on (I hope) so it will be a great tmosphere! You’re going DOWN Steph! 
May 29, 2008 at 7:18 am
Keep going and keep focused. I have had those moments of clarity before and then life happens and the start to fade. Just remember where you were and what you were doing when it became clear so you can keep that excitement and energy. Don’t let anything stand in your way! you can do it!
May 29, 2008 at 7:19 am
Great attitude. Its should carry you well through life. However the contest..I will be the victor. Thats right. Gonna call my powerlifting buddies and have them help me improve my lifts. In other words…lot of trash talk and challenges going on in the gym. Thats right…no girly lifts for me. Time to play with the big boys again. mmm should be fun *wink
May 29, 2008 at 7:24 am
darling…I know I have had so many more dark days than light but I dont see it fading with the great friends I have now! Thank you for your support!
Steph…Better not be doing no girly lifts, you will have to be at your best! Bring it on!!! This is going to be a blast!
May 29, 2008 at 7:26 am
FINALLY IT CLICKS IN YOU WOOOO HOOOOO
May 29, 2008 at 8:38 am
I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
proud of you my friend! You’re incredible - love this blog! You deserve all the happiness life will bring you - stay smiling.
May 29, 2008 at 8:44 am
THIS SPIRIT WAS INSIDE YOU ALL ALONG IT JUST TOOK YOU AWHILE TO REALIZE IT-F*CK THE HATERS!:-D YAY! LOL
May 29, 2008 at 1:27 pm
YAY!!! The lightbulb just came on today!!! It was there all along. I am very proud of you for your discovery that YOU ARE TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!!
May 29, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Brian - you have made me so incredibly proud with this entry!!! Extremely insightful and what a refreshing perspective on how to live life!! Definitely stick with this path - it suits you well and I think it will definitely be the key to your happiness!! GREAT blog, Brian, and best of luck with the competition with Steph!!
Now let your adventures begin (just don’t get arrested, I don’t have bail money! j/k)
May 30, 2008 at 8:12 am
Brian, so glad you are getting it now! They are right, it has been there all along! Now if ever you feel yourself getting down again, look back at this blog. Congrats on your new ideology, and good luck with your many competitions!