blsmith’s BodyBlog

Sort of says it all doesn’t it… I’m ready to fly!!!

First of all I want to tahnk my friends here that supported me through this rough patch I was going through. I am now back, the fire has been relit and I’m ready to go

NOw, the REASON why I got so down.  Negative remarks… there were a few… on here… on my videos via youtube and even one personally at the gym that put me over the edge into a downward spiral.  I want repeat what was said onhere as it is out there for the public to see. Some were insults that were disguised as good intentions but they were insults nonetheless, but the incident at the gym… there was no rhyme or reason for it.  I had just finished an exercise in the free weight area. I put away my dumbbells and as I was walking away I hear these guy tell his buddy laughingly…check out that fat f*ck…well my workout pretty much deflated after that…

But I am over it…who the f*ck are these guys to me?  NOBODY!!!  I know I am doing well.  My friends know I am doing well. So why am I letting these a$$holes get me down that I will never see o hear from again!  Time to prove them wrong.  Next time I will be stronger, fitter, and ready to kick some a$$!  Watch out a$$holes here I come!!!

Thank you everyone for those wonderful words… unfortunately, I still feel the same way I did.  There is only one more thing I can try to get me out of this funk, and if it doesn’t work… well, I really don’t know what will.  I am going tomorrow to see my grandkids.  They usually cheer me up regardless of my mood.

Not really much else to say without rehashing stuff. This has been a horrible week. I just hope next week is better.

Those who know me well know that I have had a bit of a roller coaster ride the past week or so.  And I have been doing a lot of thinking. About my life, about the site, about my lifting and such… some good, some bad, but these are things that I o believe is true… some of you will undoubtedly argue some of the points, in particular the bad things, but I welcome a debate proving it one way or the other.

1.) I believe that my strength is going to continue to increase fairly quickly. By the time the bash rolls around, I can see me doing a 200 bench, 600 leg press, and 350 deadlift. And I think those are very realistic.  At the beginning of the year I never would have believed that…and then by the end of the year I am shooting for a 250 bench, 700 leg press and 400 deadlift.

2.) I believe that without my true friends on here, I would not have gotten to this point in my life.  I would have fallen back to the old Brian, lazy, depressed, uncaring if I lived or died.  Thank you to those who care enough to check up on me and call me friend.

However,

3.) I do believe that aesthetically, I am not a good looking man. I know some of you will say wait you will when you lose some of that weight.  I don’t believe that.  Even when I was thin I was not handsome in the least. And I believe that no matter how my body reacts to this weight training, I think that I will never be a handsome man. Whether that is an imprint of my many years of putdowns by others or not I don’t know.  But I have been doing a lot of careful looking at other people, and in my view, I would say I am in the bottom 15% when it comes to beauty. And that includes both men and women.

4.) I believe that the above three things to be true in my eyes, however skewed they might be in the positive or negative. 

Like I said, if you want to debate that I can’t lift those weights, or the other way if you think I am not as ghastly as I make myself to be, I welcome the challenge.

I wish everyone a great day!

Really.  I am really liking the progress I am making with my workouts. I am happy that I can actually see my biceps now, and my legs feels strong.

Now if only my personal life can get better.  But as usual things aren’t great on that end.  Trying my damnest to stay positive but it is getting harder and harder as time goes on.

First of all to those who have asked… my contest is against three particpiants, Ryder78, keeganfrank, and Marielil001.  For those who want to follow along the lnk is http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=106880661

 If you go there you will see that my wife is at it again… I am all set planning my workouts for each day and I have started going in the mornings nefore work, hoping it would appease her.  So anyways, I go Monday, I go Tuesday, I start to get things readt Tuesday night for Wednesday and she’s "You’re not going again tomorrow are you?"  I know my answer should have been yeah deal with it but instead I said no I guess not.  I don’t know if it is genuine concern that I might overwork myself, or that she is insecure that I am making changes and she isn’t. Either way, I am getting sick of it all. I realy am.

Also it doesnt help that work is stressing me out.  Sometimes this job is good but when I deal with the same STUPID people every day!  For example, a woman calls me saying that the lock on her desk drawer is broken and needs someone to fix it.  Well the locksmith was busy so he couldnt get up there right away, so she calls back again today crying that she had to leave her desk open with confidental files in there all night. So I talk to the locksmith and get him up there right away.  What she did was she had "locked" the desk after it was open, so the drawer would not close.  All he did was stick the key in unlocked the desk and closed the drawer!  That’s the kind of stupidity I have to deal with on a daily basis!  Driving me up the f**king wall!!!!!!

Today marks the first day of my new challenge with three opponents… I am really excited about this one… I am sure that this contest will go on until the end!

I normally leave my workouts in my forum thread but I wanted to share the one big strength gain I have made…

When I first joined the gym in mid-February, I was doing 3 set of 12 at 180 pounds.

My leg press today was as follows…

1 set of 15 @ 180 pounds

1 set of 12 @ 270 pounds

1 set 0f 10 @ 320 pounds

1 set of 8 @ 360 pounds

1 set of 5 @ 410 pounds!!!!!

Damn, I’m stoked! My new goal is to hit 540! (12 Plates) by the time the bash rolls around!  I know I can do it!

Yesterday marked the official end to my transformation contest that wasn’t.  LOL However, looking at the before and after shots (in articular the side shot) and holy shit, I SEE the difference!  I did that in 3 months??? Man, if I wasn’t on a high I sure am now.  I have been busting my ass in the gym, especially the past couple of weeks in particular, hitting lots of personal records.  I said the fire was lit inside me, and I am proving that everytime I hit the gym.  Now, its time for the next 3 months and to hit it harder than ever before.  Here I come, don’t stand in my way!

 For those that want to see the pics go to:

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=6238721&page=19