Earlier this month. I was being really hard on myself about things not turning out as I had initially hoped. I missed training days and made up plenty of excuses. When I finally got to the gym {3/7/09}, attempting to follow Maximum Strength Program. A lot of the Pre-Hab/Warm-up movements and stretches required a certain level of upper body strength that I did not have. It was funny to watch me attempt massaging my quadriceps and not be able to hold my self up long enough to adequately massage it.

I went on to try the One Rep Max lifting tests - Chin Up, Bench Press, Deadlift, Squat and the Broad Jump. Lets just say… I didn’t finish all of the tests and one of these tests ended with a heaven sent gym member willing to remove the weight before I was removed from the earth.

Annoyed and upset, I rode the M8 bus thinking about how much time I wasted doing nothing beneficial (besides actually changing and going to the weight floor). I won’t even go into how odd I felt (and looked) in the shorts I was wearing. Once school started {3/9/09}, I fell into the whirlpool of scheduling and re-scheduling classes, getting an new and additional job, trying to get my school organization on it’s feet, among other things that took me away from heading to the gym. School and work gave me something to take my mind off the beginning of the month’s workout disaster.

Over the past weekend {3/14-15/09}, it finally hit me - what I should be doing. Taking some ideas from the Max Strength Program and mixed with what knowledge I have, I wrote a straight forward training program that I’ll be using for the next 8 weeks. I started it on Wednesday {3/18/09} and I really enjoyed myself. So let’s see how things change soon!

I know it’s bad to set up a plan with no room for unexpected occurrences. And I’m aware that changes in habits and behaviors don’t happen immediately… but right now I’m at a point where I’m putting everything under pressure. I feel that since I’ve slacked off and made excuses for so long, I don’t deserve to "take a break" or say "it just comes with time".

I’ll keep moving forward, there’s no doubt about that. However, it’s painful when things go off course, whether it be my fault or not. I have a goal to reach and I’ve already wasted enough time not working toward to allow myself another day. Let’s see how tomorrow goes.