Focus on the things that matter…
Well, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been mentally sidetracked lately. I’m still rocking the diet and workouts, still constantly wondering when I will begin to look like I want to look. Finally, last night as I was finishing a fairly brutal back workout with straight arm pulldowns, I looked into the mirror on my side and saw the body that I want (mostly anyhow). Then I thought wait a dadgum minute! That body is mine. Yeah, it was stretched out and tight from tension, but that’s almost it right there. I remember seeing the progress in the mirror while working out over the past year. I’d see it while working out, then in a few weeks it would just be that way all the time. So, my frustration at how slowly my progress is coming now is replaced by joy and a renewed sense of all being right in my world.
I’ve decided that my distractions in life are insignificant compared to my desire to have the body I have always wanted. I think I’m good right now living my monk like existence. I’m happy and that’s all that really matters. I am a big believer in most of Ayn Rand’s philosophy. An excerpt from "The Fountainhead":
"… the man who has committed every crime except the foremost one: that of ascribing futility to the wonderful fact of existence and seeking justification beyond myself. This is my pride: that now, thinking of the end, I do not cry like all men of my age ‘But what is the use and the meaning?’ I was the use and the meaning. That I lived and that I acted."
And one from "Atlas Shrugged":
"To live, a man must hold three things as the supreme and ruling values of his life: Reason - Purpose - Self-Esteem. Reason: as his only tool of knowledge. Purpose: as his choice of the happiness which that tool must proceed to achieve. Self-Esteem: as his inviolate certainty that his mind is competent to think and his person is worthy of happiness, which means is worthy of living."
As a former fatty fat fatso, the last… self-esteem has been the hardest battle to fight. It is harder than losing 100 lbs. It is harder than eating clean. It, however, is a battle worth winning. After being discounted or denigrated (by myself worst of all) so much for so long, self-esteem is the bloodiest fight. I’ve climbed a long way up that mountain. I’m not there yet, but much like with my body, I’ll never be satisfied. Goals get achieved, new goals get set. There is no other choice nor any other way. In order to enjoy life, one must be productive. I celebrate reaching a goal, but the journey to get there is where lessons are learned and self-esteem is earned. Not self-esteem based upon other’s opinions, but true self-esteem based upon accomplishment and productivity.
June 19, 2008 at 5:32 am
Well said. Self-esteem is the hardest for me too, but I’m getting there.