bigjeff0065’s BodyBlog

Ok folks!  Even though I will be relaxing on the beach next week, that does not mean you guys can slack off.  When I get back I’ll be checking up on everyone individually and I want to see some progress people!  Excuses are not tolerated!  If you are still not scared, remember that I put the "cute" in execute!  Heads are gonna roll people!

I think I’m going to have to start eating more.  My ratios of protein, carbs, and fat are good, but quantities need to go up.  I think I’m only getting 1600-1800 cals a day in solids, not including my protein shakes, which put me in the 2000-2200 range.  Obviously what I’ve been doing is working for me as I’m losing fat still and gaining some muscle, but I want to shock my body into submission.  I’ve got an annoying little spot of fat on my manboobs, right under the nipple, which has shrunk, but won’t disappear, and of course I want my abs visible at all times, so I’ve got to tighten it up some more. 

So, I’m going to add more cals.  Something really radical like adding a 6oz chicken breast to my daily intake. 

So, I was sleepy all afternoon and thought I might skip tonight.  I didn’t get to bed too late last night, only about 30 mins later than usual.  BUT since I fear growing lazy and falling into a six month lazy spell, I lifted some heavy ass weights tonight.  Got a real late start with my son wanting to hunt lightning bugs, but that’s part of life I’m not going to miss.  Didn’t get to cardio, but I’ll make up for it tomorrow. 

Speaking of last night, I Wii’d for the first time.  Hated Wii Fit.  It told me I was obese because my BMI was above 22.  BMI is for weaklings, not big strapping boys like me.  I know it’s a BS measure of fitness for people with any muscle, but it still bothers me when obese is mentioned in regards to yours truly.  I guess it takes a long time to adjust from being big all your life to relatively lean(ish).

Just hoping my house holds up for a while now.  In the last month I’ve had to replace the clothes dryer, put in a new air conditioner, and Saturday night a section of gutter collapsed.  I didn’t really have time to replace it Sunday, so I nailed it right back up and it’s ugly, but it’s on the back corner, so if it’ll make it until I get back from the beach that’ll be fine.  Funny, we’re in a historic drought here in N. GA, but now we seem to be getting more rain now that my gutter busted.  Ain’t that always the way? 

Can’t wait for my beach trip with my son!  I am most looking forward to sitting on the deck at night after he’s gone to sleep and just listening to the waves roll in and watching the moonlight reflect off of the water.  I need it.  I always seem to be able to be my most introspective at the beach.  I have fixed my outside (not done by a long shot, but closer to goal each day), and my emotional side is steady and constant as always, and that is getting to the core of what I’ve been sidetracked with lately.  It seems as though I keep thinking about being different from what I am and have always been.  When I was younger this thought was almost daily.  I so desperately wanted to be something other than I was.  I didn’t want to be quiet and reserved, I wanted to be a ladies man, a player, etc.  Well, last year I had that opportunity to be that person, and I did it.  I thought it would be fantastic.  It sucked!  Hollow, empty, devoid of value.  

  Well, maybe I’m not looking to be something or someone else, but maybe adding some things to the old social skill set where I have been lacking.  It’s tough as an introvert living in an extrovert world.  So few people actually understand you.  Yet I’ve learned to accept that is who I am, adapt, and I’m cool with it.  What I need to develop is my social skills since I’ve ignored them quite a bit.  Much like working a lagging bodypart.  I’ve been told that I am intimidating when people first meet me because I do not smile much, even though I’m just a big teddy bear!  I’ve probably taken my introversion too far to the isolationist mode, so I’ll work on appearing friendlier by smiling more.    That’s my short term goal anyway.

The fat has been measured!  Many tears were shed and the crowd awaited anxiously as your humble author fired up his trusty FatTrack II calipers to measure his progress.  I measure my bf 5 times to average out a bad reading.  First reading….7.4 release some tension with that one… second reading 6.8!  Ok, it’s gotta start correcting itself upward here… third reading 7.4 and the excitement is beginning to build… fourth reading 7.1 and I’m now certain anything under like a 20 will result in progress… fifth reading is 7.4 now quickly average it out!  My average is 7.22% bodyfat.  Since I find this a little unreal, I am posting a 7.4% which came up 3x in my measurements.  I am in shock!  Not that my diet wasn’t good as usual with only two cheats the last two weeks (oh and one piece of bday cake for a coworker’s special day so that doesn’t count since it’s their calories).  Not that I didn’t work hard, but I still feel amazement at making such progress.  It’s beyond what I had initially thought even possible!  I gained 2 lbs and lost .6 percent bodyfat!  Go Me!

I passed what I thought was possible several months ago and in my mind I can have the exact body I want now.  The only thing that has ever held me back is indeed me.

I have learned so much from this site, and that has made all of this possible.  I can only imagine what I will feel like when I have abs that make 20 year old boys jealous!

Started looking into buying a gym franchise.  Looks good so far, but will let you know.  Anybody got $100k I can borrow?

Got BF measurements tonight.  Kind of worried, as usual, but worst case is I’m the same as two weeks ago or a little higher, though I think higher is unlikely.  Weight has been up 1-2 lbs over what has become normal the last month or two.  Starting to see some development in my delts, which is good since they are way behind.  I was always afraid to do a lot of shoulder work after having injured each one in separate sporting incidents during my youth.  Never did miss a play though!  I used to think that was tough, now I realize it was just stupid.  If I only knew then how bad my shoulders would be now, I’d have gotten them looked at, but it’s too late now.

I did planks last night in addition to chest.  Gotta work the manboobs!  I noticed that the fat that dangles off of my abs during planks has shrunk quite a bit since the last time I did them, which was maybe a month ago?

Tonight is legs, so cardio is out, though I will take my faithful choc. lab "Catfish" for a nice long walk.

Two quotes that I’ve been thinking about today:

 "Don’t hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft." - Teddy Roosevelt

"Independence is the recognition of the fact that yours is the responsibility of judgement and nothing can help you escape it - that no substitute can do your thinking, as no pinch hitter can live your life - that the vilest form of self-abasement and self-destruction is the subordination of your mind to the mind of another, the acceptance of an authority over your brain, the acceptance of his assertions as facts, his say-so as truth, his edicts as middle man between your conciousness and your existence."  Ayn Rand from "Atlas Shrugged"

Well, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been mentally sidetracked lately.  I’m still rocking the diet and workouts, still constantly wondering when I will begin to look like I want to look.  Finally, last night as I was finishing a fairly brutal back workout with straight arm pulldowns, I looked into the mirror on my side and saw the body that I want (mostly anyhow).  Then I thought wait a dadgum minute!  That body is mine.  Yeah, it was stretched out and tight from tension, but that’s almost it right there.  I remember seeing the progress in the mirror while working out over the past year.  I’d see it while working out, then in a few weeks it would just be that way all the time.  So, my frustration at how slowly my progress is coming now is replaced by joy and a renewed sense of all being right in my world. 

I’ve decided that my distractions in life are insignificant compared to my desire to have the body I have always wanted.  I think I’m good right now living my monk like existence.  I’m happy and that’s all that really matters.  I am a big believer in most of Ayn Rand’s philosophy.  An excerpt from "The Fountainhead":

"… the man who has committed every crime except the foremost one: that of ascribing futility to the wonderful fact of existence and seeking justification beyond myself.  This is my pride: that now, thinking of the end, I do not cry like all men of my age ‘But what is the use and the meaning?’  I was the use and the meaning.  That I lived and that I acted."

And one from "Atlas Shrugged":

"To live, a man must hold three things as the supreme and ruling values of his life: Reason - Purpose - Self-Esteem.  Reason: as his only tool of knowledge.  Purpose: as his choice of the happiness which that tool must proceed to achieve.  Self-Esteem: as his inviolate certainty that his mind is competent to think and his person is worthy of happiness, which means is worthy of living."

As a former fatty fat fatso, the last… self-esteem has been the hardest battle to fight.  It is harder than losing 100 lbs.  It is harder than eating clean.  It, however, is a battle worth winning.  After being discounted or denigrated (by myself worst of all) so much for so long, self-esteem is the bloodiest fight.  I’ve climbed a long way up that mountain.  I’m not there yet, but much like with my body, I’ll never be satisfied.  Goals get achieved, new goals get set.  There is no other choice nor any other way.  In order to enjoy life, one must be productive.  I celebrate reaching a goal, but the journey to get there is where lessons are learned and self-esteem is earned.  Not self-esteem based upon other’s opinions, but true self-esteem based upon accomplishment and productivity.

Well, maybe not quite so drastic, but it has ruined my social life to some degree.  You see, I see a whole mega truckload of 30-40 year old totally stone cold foxes on this site.  I try not to hit on them and make stupid comments like "hey sexy" and such.  I imagine a lot of the females on here get weary of that, since this isn’t a dating site, at least as its main function.  Anyway, I see all these super hot women on here and the women I see out and about don’t really float my boat.  Now that’s partly my fault since I work out at home, so the fitness chicks at the gym as I recall are nice, but there again, I’m not there for dates, and I assume that most women don’t go to the gym for dates, maybe I’m wrong, but based upon blogs here, I doubt it.  It’s not like I am going to try to get a date when I’m all sweaty and stinky anyway. 

So, ladies of Bodyspace… next time I go on a date and she doesn’t make my teeth sweat, it is your fault!  But I’m glad you are all here!

Well, if you regularly read my blog, and I know there are two who do, my last Sunday workout for chest was cancelled about a third of the way into it.  For reference, see previous post.  Well, was supposed to be off Thurs., but made up my chest workout by starting over at the beginning and set even higher weighted dips records.  Took Friday off and tonite is shoulders.  Dragging a$$ on Friday, and realized that I had run out of some groceries on Wed, and Thurs and Fri had been extremely low carb, so I took a refeed.  Bad idea.  Forgot my cousin is in town from Hong Kong with his new baby and going out to brunch on Sunday after the Christening.  Garrison’s has a great brunch, it’s buffet style.  Try to fill up on eggs and fruit initially so if I do succumb to deliciously tasty food I won’t eat a lot.  Brought cardio back into the fold after about 2 weeks off.  My cals burned and distance went back up to where it was before, I had been dragging.  Guess I’ve gotten enough fat off that I wear down if I continue to do 4-5 HIIT sessions a week after weights.  Shoulders and HIIT tonite, back and HIIT on Sunday.  I’ve got two weeks before taking my son to the beach and I want to look fantastic when I show vacation pics.  I won’t be looking like the top profiles on here, but that will come, I am thinking in 3 months I can be that tight, but need to do some research on how to cut BF that low.  Those guys have to be 4%!  Well, gotta hit the showers, dinner tonite with Dad at the BBQ restaurant… no worries, I’m having grilled chicken (plain, no sauce ) and turnip greens, with a glass of delicious, crisp, cool, refreshing H2O.

Sunday was bad.  Friday night hit shoulders and Saturday did back.  Lost some form on deadlifts and just knew it was going to be trouble.  Sunday I awoke to sore lower back and shoulders.  It was hotter than normal here in GA, but had worked my smaller, still bubblicious ghetto booty off mowing the lawn and cleaning up the general mess that occurs in a single dad’s house. 

Now normally even when I don’t feel like working out, once I get going and get the blood flowing I get’r'done.  I’ve even had some of my all time best workouts when I didn’t think I could workout.  Well I got cranked up and did real well on dips to start hitting new rep records for the bodyweight sets at beginning and end and even added 10 lb.s to the weighted sets in the middle.  Ok, getting a good one coming on here, but then my strength left me.  Started on the bench and just could not perform.  So, listening to my body I hung up the gloves and laid up on the couch to watch a movie and let recovery take place.  I was off on Monday as scheduled and feel pretty good today, so it’s back at it tonight.  Just might bring cardio back into the mix tonight.  Been off of it for a week and a half, and I really don’t miss it, but it’s a changeup that has to occur.  Can’t have the body of a god without it.  Look out treadmill here I come!  Well, I guess I should call my treadmill by it’s given name which is "Stupid Son-of-a Bitch", at least that’s the name I gave it.