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“You’re so skinny!”

September 16, 2008

Welcome to the phrase that I’ve learned to dread the most, "You’re so skinny!"… sometime there’s even a "Wow.." before the dreaded phrase… Either way it doesn’t change its effect. At times I wondered whether it was a compliment, at times, I’m sure it was. But now it just doesn’t matter, I hate it because I don’t see skinny as a positive word. I see fit as positive, toned, pretty… but not skinny.

I mean we don’t say the same thing to someone who’s overweight (note how I am now conditioned to use "overweight")… We don’t say, "You’re so fat!". Oh, no! That would be so wrong, but when someone’s skinny— let the bashing begin!

So my skinny tale begins from the time I was about 8 years old. I was always thin and petite, although it didn’t start to bother me until I was in grade school when other kids would use my weight and frame to poke fun at me. It continued all through high school, but it was worse then because my small frame couldn’t compete with all my other girlfriends who had some nice curves and looked healthy.

I cared less about my weight during college. As a matter of fact, I don’t think I ever weighed myself through college. I was fed up with all the comments from grade school and high school, and it took me a very long time and a very strong will for me to say, “I love myself for who I am, skinny or not!” In college, whenever I’d get any comments about my weight, I would simply tell myself that that person was simply ignorant or jealous. I have searched endlessly online ever since I was able to surf the ‘net for help with my lack of weight. But I always ended up feeling worse about myself, instead of feeling helped or supported. There’s so much help for people who are trying to lose weight, and it seems that if you’re not within that spectrum, you’re just weird or a freak, or big-headed, and you should just be really happy that you’re not one of those millions of people who struggle to lose weight! Well, the truth of the matter is that while I am glad about the fact that I am not overweight, this doesn’t obligate me to be happy being under weight either! The root of the matter is, we ALL deserve the right to feel comfortable in our own skin– regardless of our weight!

The way I see it, telling someone who’s thin that they should be happy they’re not heavy, is like telling someone who lost an arm to be happy they didn’t lose a leg. It hurts, either way! Being underweight, just like being overweight, has its drawbacks. Yes, I’m sure that those drawbacks are a lot more severe on the other side, but I don’t feel that people like me, who are simply trying to feel at peace with ourselves and give ourselves a positive self-image, should be degraded or ridiculed.

So, now as in adult, I’ve finally decided to give it my all and to really focus on my weight gaining goal. I’ve finally decided that I’m going to put aside what everyone else seems to think and say. I’m going to put aside the “Why?!” remarks and the crazy stares when I tell others that I’m trying to gain weight and put those comments, and those stunned looks in the same trash can that I put the other comments that people have been tossing my way throughout the years concerning my weight.

This is about me. It’s about making myself happy. It’s about making myself healthier and stronger.

Not anyone else!!!!!!

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