A Reflection of this past year.
I found myself reaching desperation, sitting at the surgeons office awaiting my consultation for liposuction surgery. This past year has been a very tough one for me, one filled with binge eating, extreme dieting, weight loss clinics and even a breif stint at food addicts annyomous. I sat there thinking of how i managed to make it there in the first place, i never needed any of it when i first decided to start fighting the battle of the buldge, and yet now, still at 162 pounds, down from over 200, i feel completely defeated. It will cost me $10,000 to remove the few inches of body fat that haunt me every day…it really seems so easy and worth the money to go through the procedures, but the more i think about it, the more i feel down. Is this what i have driven myself too? In reality im looking for every way out instead of doing the only thing that really works and that is looking inside myself really make the changes necessary to be the person that i derserve to be, and that i know i can be. With that being said, i have finally reached the bottom, and have decided to reach the top without surgery. Instead of using my relationship with food to hinder my goals, my food addiction never really seems to manifest itself when i get to eat every 2-3 hours. What a great way to tame that beast. It is releving to finally hit this point where i am just so tired of failing that its time to win…. this morning my eggwhites and oatmeal have never tasted better, they tasted like victory and now they only thing thats going to stay fat are my pockets.
November 26, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Well it was a good choice and a bad choice if you think about it, you were desperate for results and thats what you got. Results.
And now you are still making great results, so keep it up. And I personally think that it wasn’t a bad choice to have liposuction done to take those few inches off. Those inches payed for themselves if you look back at yourself.
As always
Never quit,
stay fit.
-Nick
November 26, 2007 at 1:17 pm
here here, cheer’s and chin up soldier! you can beat the inches, you have already proved that, you got from 200 to 162, now it will just take extra time and extra devotion. but remember to keep it so you feel good, if you go much beyond that you might lose some of the zeal for it
January 24, 2008 at 7:16 am
When I moved to Louisiana, I gained 20 pounds. I worked out everyday. Cardio 2x’s daily and weight training. Switched fat burners, stayed on a strict diet, yadda yadda yadda. I even did the craziest diet ever, the Velocity Diet. It wasn’t until I got out of school that I started to drop weight like crazy. Then I went to San Fran for a family thing, boom! Gained it all back. Now I’m finally getting a hold of it. I changed my work outs to a metabolism stimulating work outs and I’m eating when ever I feel like it because it works for me, but I’m still eating healthy.
I guess what I’m trying to say, I totally feel you when you feel like your defeated. If you ever need someone to vent to, I’m all ears.