benjamminb6’s BodyBlog

So, I have finally decided to take a chance and do something that I swore I would never ever do.  I have moved to Reno, as of yesterday, to be closer to my daughter.  This is a very big and scary step for me, but I have spent the past 7 years convincing myself that I don’t belong here and won’t be happy here, and finding reasons not to move here, but I finally caved in after a long talk with Mayah, with my friends and family, and some real prayer and soul searching.

Mayah has been asking me to move here, especially since her mom had a new baby, and things in Orange County just weren’t working out for me at all, so I took that as a sign that I should do something new.  My real friends will always be my friends, but aside from them, I had nothing holding me in Orange County anymore.  No job, I broke up with Megan, so no girlfriend, nobody to go to Disneyland with, etc.  I will miss the beach, and the Angels games, but I can go back down on my days off to visit friends and do those things if I want.  And I can drive over to visit my mom in San Francisco and go to the beach there and go watch the Angels when they play against Oakland.  My friends and I have all migrated in different directions in our lives, so I wasn’t really spending a whole lot of time with any of them anyway, so not that much will change in that regard.

I guess the biggest thing is that I started to think about how Mayah will view me when she is my age.  I don’t know my dad at all, and wouldn’t care if he died tomorrow.  And Heather felt the same way about her dad, Megan felt the same way about her dad…..it seems to be a prevailing trend these days, and I would hate for Mayah to grow up and feel that way about me.  Also, she complained to me that she thinks I’m not around enough and told me that it hurts her feelings, and she accidentally called me Jordan twice (Jordan is her stepdad), which was kind of a bummer, so I just decided that when I am an old man, she will be the most important thing to me, and I want to know that I did the best that I could for her.  And right now, that means being here.  I may end up moving again when the winter comes if I hate it here, but at least for this summer, I am going to spend as much time with her as I can while she is out of school, and work hard to pay down my debts and save some money.  Roger and I have been talking a lot about starting a business together sometime soon, so I need to work and get focused on everything.  It’s definitely scary to be here and not know anyone, but I was basically alone in Orange County too, and not having other distractions should really help me to focus in on getting my body into perfect shape.  As soon as I get new running shoes, I will begin my marathon training too, which will be a challenge at these high elevations, but the lack of humidity and the cooler weather will be helpful and I think that for now I will enjoy the change of scenery and it will feel a little bit like an extended vacation, sort of how Vegas felt.

All of this should be exciting, a little scary, and very interesting, but overall will do me good, and will be great for Mayah.  As for my workouts, I have been hitting the gym pretty hard these past two weeks, but have not done a ton of cardio, and since I have been traveling a lot between San Fran, Orange County, and here, I have been eating very poorly, but I plan on going grocery shopping today and getting some good clean food, and going back to my old healthy diet.  I will be upping my cardio again, probably doing 45 minutes to an hour in the morning, and another 30 minutes after I work out at night.  I already did an hour this morning, and it felt really good!!!  I cant wait to lift tonight!

My little studio apartment is small and kinda ghetto lol, but the complex is quiet, the rent is insanely cheap, and I have great air conditioning haha.  I will be alone and it should be peaceful.  Other than that, I am just gonna be working hard on all aspects of my life, from Mayah, to work, to my body, my marathon, playing better poker, making new friends, and maybe I will even meet a nice cute girl up here, though I’m not keeping my fingers crossed there lol, I don’t think Reno girls are really my type! 

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 28th, 2008 at 12:59 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.