June 19th. Update
Sooo it has been a difficult and thought provoking week, and many changes are ahead for me. Since I have been back down in Orange County, I have been working out really hard and heavy, and feel great about the quality of my weight lifting sessions, but my diet still is very poor since I have been traveling a lot, and I am not staying in my own place, and my cardio has been very minimal, 20 minutes a day or less usually. So I need to rev up the cardio a little bit, and improve the diet again a LOT a bit lol, but overall, it has just felt really nice to get back in the gym after missing so many days last week.
As for my personal life……everything is topsy turvy. I went from seeing Megan every day and having an amazing relationship and friendship with her, to not even speaking to her, and it all happened in the blink of an eye. The weird thing is that it all ended really without any good reason. She just sort of felt like we weren’t perfect for each other for a few reasons, and even though we got along fabulously, never fought, and always had amazingly great days and super hot sex, she wanted to keep looking. I respect that, although I was disappointed in how it all turned out, but it was odd to me that we couldn’t even stay friends. That was the strangest relationship I have ever been a part of, and I think I will take a lot from it into future situations. But more importantly than Megan or anything else, I went and spent some really good time with Mayah and got to talk to her a lot. She is only 7, but she is a smart girl, and I am very lucky to be her dad. She really wants me to come to Reno and be closer to her, and I think the new baby has a lot to do with it, but the more I have thought about it, the more it seems like the right thing to do. I do not have a relationship with my dad because he wasn’t there when I was a kid, and if he died tomorrow I wouldn’t care or even go to his funeral, and I don’t want Mayah to grow up and feel that way towards me. I need to develop a strong bond with her now and be around her more, so I am going to swallow my pride and just go for it. It will be a difficult transition, and I don’t really know anyone up there, but spending more time with her will be good for us both, the cost of living up there is very cheap, and a fresh start will be nice. I wont have so many distractions, and can really focus on getting in amazing shape, and maybe even spend some more time playing live poker since the casinos are there. I think that I will be lonely and bored at first, but eventually I will really be glad that I made the move. And if I’m not glad, and I just decide that I hate it, I can always come back, so it’s not like I don’t have options. I will also be closer to my mom up there, and can still drive over to Oakland to watch Angel’s games when they are in town. It is definitely a really scary thing to think about, going to a new place all alone, but I enjoy a challenge, and look forward to trying something new for a while and not being so stressed out about money. So the plan is to go up this week and look for a job and a place to live. I can probably stay at my mom’s in the meantime and just make the drive back and forth when I have interviews or whatever. So good luck me!!
