June 2nd.
So my workouts the past few days have been OUTSTANDING!!!! I have been mixing it up a lot and doing exercises that I don’t normally do. I did my arms yesterday and my chest today, and both look pumped and fuller than ever! I feel great about my workouts, and am in some of the best shape of my life, though my abs still need some work as does my back and my legs. I have been working my abs regularly, and they feel harder than ever and are showing nicely, but to really carve them out, I need to do a little more cardio and stop with the "occasional" cheating in my diet lol. I think if I had been eating 100% clean and doing an hour of cardio every day instead of just 30 minutes for the past 2 weeks, my abs would be INSANE! Anyway, I am still happy with my progress and glad that I have stuck with it despite everything else going on in my life.
Jenn and I have sort of patched things up, so I’m glad. At least I know that she doesn’t hate me 
. As far as where I will be living in 2 weeks, it is still very much up in the air. I have an open invitation to spend the summer in San Francisco living rent free with my mom and spending some more time with my daughter, Mayah. This sounds like an awesome opportunity, and I would be given a job when I got there, but Mayah would only be there part of the time, and when she wasn’t around, I would feel lonely and I would miss Orange County, my friends, Angel’s games, etc. The weather would undoubtedly be cooler up there, which would be great, and I do need to spend more time with Mayah, but I also hate to lean on my mom for help every time I am struggling. I am a grown up, and I need to stand on my own two feet and solve my own problems. It’s time for me to help myself, even if that means struggling for a while in order to get things going. So there are definitely pros and cons to going up there, but I think that if I can find a decent job and a place to live here in the next two weeks, then I am going to stay and try to get myself upright on my own.
I really need to work so I can take care of myself, but more than that, I need to be taking care of Mayah!!! And if I had money, I could spend more time with her, so I just need to get myself going. I also would love to have some cash to go back to Vegas for a few days. I have free rooms and free food whenever I can go, so I just need money for gambling and gas, and it would be awesome to go relax for a few days and see some of my friends. It’s sad how important money is these days, but it really does make the world go ’round. I could use some new supplements too, which of course isn’t cheap! So I have a few prospects, but I really need to find a job this week and start getting things in order. By this time next year I hope to have run a marathon, paid off my debts, and be in perfect shape. All of those things will take time, dedication, and money, but if I’m working hard and taking care of business, I should be able to manage it all. I would also like to find someone to have a serious relationship with!!! I’m not sure where I will be relationship wise in a few weeks, but I’m at the point in my life where I want to find someone that I can develop a real relationship with. In 4 years I plan on being married or at least heading in that direction, and I want more kids, so to get to that point, I need to find someone in the next year or so that is looking for the same things, and will be ready in the next 4 years also, and most importantly, someone who will love Mayah and love me unconditionally. And lastly, Kellee…….I love you, thanks for being such a great friend .
