May 6th. Update.
So I am switching things up this week to get myself back in the flow of things. I am finally not sick or sunburned, so I am back in the gym every day. My diet has been really inconsistent and its driving me crazy! I have been eating clean for 2 days and then eating complete crap for a day, and I need to just stick to eating clean for the next week or two and try to get back into good habits. As for my workouts, I am gonna do two bodyparts per day for the next week so I get in a little extra work, and I am going to switch up the bodyparts that I am supersetting to do something new and different. I’m not lacking motivation or a desire to work out, I just have been sleeping so much more and had more going on since I have been with Megan so much, so it has changed my day to day schedule some.
I did my biceps and triceps yesterday, and my triceps are actually sore today, so that is exciting! I am planning on doing my chest and shoulders later today, and I need to do MORE CARDIO!!!!! Megan has felt like she is "nesting" since she is so comfortable with me, so I think I am going to make her do cardio with me every day. I was discussing my plans on training for a marathon again, and she said that she would love to train and do the marathon with me, but I’m not so sure that she will really be up for that. It sounds like a good idea in her head haha, but she is not someone who works out, and she dances all day at school already, so I just don’t see her really being up for it, especially when we get to 10 or more miles in one session. If she really wants to try, I won’t hold her back, and I would love to have a training partner, but I’m not going to keep my fingers crossed.
I have a second interview this week with 24 Hour Fitness. I don’t really want to work, but I am at the point where I really need to work. I need to make money so that I can spend more time with Mayah, and I am almost broke! I don’t like to feel broke, and these days money doesn’t stretch as far because of the increased cost of gas and food. The cool thing about working for 24 Hour is that I could become a trainer once I start working there, and I think that I would enjoy being a personal trainer and would probably be good at it.
So Kellee now hates me because I am dating Megan. This makes me really sad and I wish that I could fix the situation. I have known her for about 3 years, and we had gotten to be pretty close this year, so it makes me feel like I am losing someone who has been important to me. I feel like she isn’t being fair to me at all, and she has lied to me and been very angry, rude, and hurtful, which saddens me because it makes me feel like maybe she isn’t the person that I thought she was. I really care about her and hope that she eventually decides to still be my friend even though I have a girlfriend now, but if she doesn’t, then I hope that she is happy and has an amazing life and finds love.
Megan and I had our first "fight" yesterday. It wasn’t really a fight, but she said some things that she should have never said, and my feelings got hurt which made me shut down and not want to talk to her, and then it was just weird between us for a few hours. So last night she cried because she said she could tell that I was just pretending like everything was ok, and she was worried about me leaving her, and me having hurt feelings. She is interesting. She clearly cares about me, but I think that at the end of the day, she cares about herself most, and is interested in taking care of number 1 first, which is how most people think, but isnt necessarily the way you can think if you want to have a successful relationship. She is extremely selfish emotionally, and holds on to things from her past way too much, and she can be very immature at times and really show her age. Shes only 21, and I know that when I was 21 I had a different mindset than I do now, so I can’t be upset with her about that, but if she wants success in a relationship with me, or anyone else, she will need to learn how to compromise and need to realize that everything doesn’t revolve around her all of the time. Relationships require both sides to be happy, both sides to be equals, and both sides to be important. It’s a team, and there is no I in team. I’m not sure what will happen with us, but for now I am just going to enjoy her time and company and try not to be hurt by her shenanigans. I really enjoy hanging out with her, and so I am just going to appreciate her and the fun that we have, and avoid the conflict and chaos that comes with her being a drama queen. Whatever happens, I wont regret the time that I spent with her, and if it doesn’t work out in a few months, then I will have just enjoyed her company and made new memories and learned from the experience.
