benjamminb6’s BodyBlog

Ok, so first off, I am officially 0/1 in my quest to do double cardio for 45 of the 51 days leading up to my birthday, so I’m off to a bad start!!!  In my defense, I hadn’t slept in 3 days, and I fell asleep at 7 in the morning, and didn’t wake up until 6 at night, which my body needed.  So that’s why I missed my early cardio.  I have been having extremely bad insomnia ever since Heather and I split up, sometimes I go 2 or 3 days in a row with zero sleep, even days when I do cardio in the morning and then hit the gym at night, I just stay up all night watching movies and feeling like a zombie.  I dunno.  Anyway, I need to try and get on a better sleep schedule, especially if I am gonna start working soon. 

So tonight was my back workout.  I was really happy with my workout.  I did pullups, and did a decent job of them actually.  The only problem, is that when I do pullups first, they fry my forearms and my grip, and that makes the rest of my workout much tougher, but I suppose over time, this will fix itself as my grip and forearms get stronger, and pullups become easier.  I did pullups, lat pulldowns, cable rows, t-bar rows, serratus straight arm pulldowns, hammer machine high rows, dumbell rows, low back extensions, and one very weak set of deadlifts and bent over rows.  I had superset most of the other exercises, like I always do, so by the time I got to my deadlift/bent over row superset, I was already pretty fried.  Also, I am still slightly uncertain about deadlifts, so I go pretty light, which makes me feel like its a waste of time, so I quit after one really light set.  I just grabbed a 65 pound ez bar, bent over and did 12 reps of rows, then went right into deadlifts with the same ez bar…..pretty weak.  I am gonna hafta think about how I do these in the future, and retool that part of my workout, and practice my deadlifts so that I feel comfortable with them.  I also did my abs, and did them really well.  I didn’t slack off, like I often do, which was great!  And I did my cardio too!!!  I did it on the stationary bike after I lifted, so overall, I was really happy with everything.  Aside from missing my morning cardio because I was sleeping, it was a great day.  Oh, and I also weighed myself, and I’m down another 3 pounds from the last time that I weighed myself, which is great!!!  So tomorrow is Friday, and I am planning on hitting the gym.  My new week starts tomorrow, or whenever I lift next, so I will be back to two bodyparts per session, legs and shoulders are first.  I am going to attempt to squat when I do my legs, I just decided that it is too important.  So, I’m not sure how that is going to affect my soreness and cardio after, but in the interest of accomplishing my cardio goals leading up to my birthday, I am not gonna wuss out.  So morning cardio is a must tomorrow, and if I decide not to lift weights, I will still head back and do nighttime cardio, and try to do my obliques. 

So real quick.  I did go do cardio tonight, so hooray for me!!  Today should have been back day, but since I think I pulled or strained something in my mid-upper back, and I am in tons of pain, I decided that lifting would be a bad idea.  I just did 40 minutes on the bike, stretched really good, and sat in the jacuzzi.  My back does feel a little better, so I’m glad that I went.  For some odd reason, the gym was a zoo!!!  I always go at midnight, always.  I get there almost exactly at midnight.  And there are the same 3 people there every night, and usually 3 or 4 more random people, 6 or 7 more random people on a busy night.  Tonight, no joke, got there at midnight, parking lot PACKED!!!  There must have been 60 or 70 people in there!!  Even the guy at the counter said he felt like it was 5 in the afternoon or something.  It was really weird…. But anyway.  I was reading MD while I did my cardio…  I do 45 minutes every morning on the elliptical, and my new plan is to add at least 20 more minutes at night after I lift.  This seemed like a pretty hefty amount of cardio, until I read the magazine!!  A couple of pro bodybuilders were discussing their cardio needs and what it takes for them to get their bodyfat down.  Two different pros said that in the weeks when they are really cutting their bodyfat down, they do about 3 hours a day of cardio!!!  This is along with a very restricted low cal diet.  WOW!!  And I thought my 45 min plus 20 min, and eating cleaner was a lot haha.  Now, I don’t have a contest to diet for, I just want my abs to show through, and be overall more chiseled, so I don’t think that my needs are the same as theirs.  They also have so much more mass to shred down….so I don’t have illusions of needing or doing 3 hours a day.  However, it does reinforce to me how much work is needed to truly achieve the results that I desire, so maybe I should be doing my 45 minutes in the morning and another 45 at night, I dunno.  I will probly stick to another 20-30 minutes at night after I lift, but it’s important for me to really stick to it and do the nighttime cardio as well.  So I am just about exactly 7 weeks from my bday, actually like 51 days.  But in that 51 days, I am setting a goal to get to the gym at least 45 of those days, and have double cardio sessions on all of them.   6 days off in 7 weeks is about average for me probably, but if I can manage to get in there every day I will.  I will be doing my cardio in the morning and lifting at night like always, followed by nighttime cardio.  On days where I am sore or need a day off from lifting, I will just do my two sessions of cardio.  And although I have been doing my abs, I haven’t been 100% as consistent or hardcore as I want to be about it, so I need to stick to my ab routine as well, and do all 4 sets, and not just quit after 2 or 3 because I’m tired and anxious to hit the jacuzzi!!!  So every day when I update my blog, starting tomorrow, I will write down my stats for my double cardio days (i.e. 1/1 so far, or 10/13) to show how many times out of how many days I have done it.   That way I know I am keeping up with my goal.

So thats it.  Gonna up the cardio and be super sexy haha.  Oh, and should be starting new job really soon, details coming in the near future.  Bedtime.

So I requested Lee Priest to be my friend on here and he accepted!  How cool is that?!  I’m sure he says yes to every single person who adds him, but still….it’s pretty badass.  Lee Priest was one of my inspirations to want to get big.  Growing up, I worked out all the time, because my mom was a personal trainer.  But I was a basketball player, and my workouts were geared towards improving my basketball skills more than getting buff and muscular.  Anyway, I weighed 180 pounds from the time I was 16 until I was 19, and that was the first time that I came across a bodybuilding magazine.  I remember that they had an article about Lee Priest and his arm training, and I was amazed at how big and incredible his arms looked.  As a kid growing up, I watched Hulk Hogan wrestling, and he always talked about his 24" pythons haha.  By comparison, Hulk’s arms just look like thick masses, while Lee’s arms looked huge, chiseled, veiny, and I thought that if Hulk Hogan had 24" arms, Lee must have had 36" arms lol.  At about the same time that I discovered Lee Priest in a bodybuilding magazine, I ran into this incredibly buff black guy at the gym.  I thought he was superhuman lol, and I found out later that it was Shawn Ray.  So this is when I decided that I didn’t want to be 180 pounds anymore, I wanted to be huge like these newfound supermen that I had discovered.  My goal was to gain 35 pounds and eventually weigh 215.  Well, needless to say, I’m way past that now, and am trying to lose fat and get back in shape this year, but I would like to end up between 210 and 225 with visible abs if that is at all possible.  Soo anyway.  Thanks for the add Lee Priest.  You have been an inspiration since the beginning, and its a shame that shorter guys such as yourself and Dexter Jackson have never gotten the true respect that they deserve compared to the "big guys."  Bodybuilding used to be about the physique, but for the past decade it seems that is has been about size and mass, regardless of symmetry, conditioning, and all the things that made past champions so great regardless of their height.  I’m glad that it is finally slowly turning towards rewarding a guy like Victor Martinez who has both size and symmetry, etc.  But I will always believe that for about 10 years, all the shorter, lighter guys got screwed, even if they had better conditioning and looked better than the giant mass monsters with fat bellies.

 So I spent the day housesitting my brother Jason’s house.  He and his girlfriend had to work, but they were having a TimeWarner Cable guy come over and hook up digital telephone service.  So I offered to stay there so that the guys could come do the work, and so they didn’t worry about theft.  Laura came over and kept me company for a couple of hours.  We watched a movie, then she had to go to class at 3pm.  She is soooo funny!!!  It’s really a crack up actually.  I’m really glad that we have become friends.  I have been depressed long enough, and it’s nice to have someone to make me smile and laugh again.  That’s what drew me to Heather in the first place, she has an amazing sense of humor.  Now if I can just find a chick who has a sense of humor, who’s also smokin hott lol, then I will be set.  So anyway, I don’t know what happened, but my back has been absolutely killing me all day!!!  Like, extreme pain!!!  I woke up this morning and it felt a little off when I was getting ready, but as soon as I got to Jason’s house, it was just throbbing and giving me problems.  As the day has progressed, it has gotten much worse.  It’s in the upper right hand side of my back, and it feels extremely tight like I pulled a muscle or something.  So tonight is supposed to be my back workout, but I am clearly not going to try and do a back workout while dealing with a back injury!!!  So I may go to the gym and ride the stationary bike for 30 minutes, and then relax in the jacuzzi and see if that loosens up my back pain.  I have never been a fan of pain meds, or anything like that, so I am just gonna try and relax later and see if I can get rid of it.  I need a massage!!!

So I got my workout in as planned tonight!!  I feel sooo much better now, huge sigh of relief haha.  Anyway, JR called me and asked me if I was gonna work out tonight, so I told him to meet me at the gym.  I always enjoy hanging out with JR, we have the same sense of humor, have dealt with a lot of the same problems with women, and I have known him for 16 years, so he’s like my brother.  Anyway, he helped me out tonight too!  I have been driving on fumes cuz I’m broke this week haha, and so he gave me a few bucks to put gas in my car so I don’t get stranded, and then bought me a carne asada burrito after the gym!!!  What a great friend!  Now, to be fair, he owes me money haha, but we don’t really keep tabs on that sort of stuff I guess. 

So anyway, I did my triceps as planned.  I really worked hard, and did dips and a few other things that I haven’t done in a very long time, so it was a really great workout.  Also, I ran into 2 other buddies at the gym who I haven’t seen in a really long time.  Mike Shumacher is just a nice guy, he was fairly good friends with my sister, and he is always smiling and friendly.  So he actually is going to Vegas for March Madness with another old friend that I haven’t seen in forever, so I may go with.  And then Victor was there.  Victor is my good friend Steve’s little brother.  I guess he’s not so little anymore haha, he’s 22, but since I have known him since he was like 12, he will always be that little guy haha.  I have been trying to get ahold of Steve and Victor since I got back to Orange County last month, but hadn’t been able to.  I was tempted to just go to their house, but I hate to just show up on someone’s doorstep.  Anyway, Victor is super strong and ripped to shreds for such a short guy.  And his eating habits and workout consistency are terrible.  He and Steve just have insane genetics, and I have no doubt that either of them could be a pro bodybuilder if they were willing to put forth the time and effort.  So he told me to just come over to the house anytime, and he is gonna tell Steve to call me.  I always had a lot of fun hanging out at their house growing up.  Some of my fondest memories are the times when all of us guys used to be really close.  For a time, myself, Reid, John, Steve, Victor, Scott, Andrew, Dave, Khoi, and a few other guys, would all hang out together all the time, usually ending up at Steve’s house at the end of the night.  Over time, everyone has sort of spread out, moved, gotten into relationships, or had stupid fights, so the group is somewhat disbanded.  I am still friends with all of them on an individual level, but to get all of us in the same place at the same time again would be very tough.

So since my tv is broken, I have become a Youtube junky lol.  So if you haven’t seen it yet, there is a very funny back and forth exchange going on between Jimmy Kimmel, his girlfriend Sarah Silverman, and Matt Damon.  Jimmy and Matt had a fight on Jimmy’s show once, and so ever since then, Jimmy closes his show by taking a little jab at Matt Damon.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, Sarah was on the show, and she had made a hilarious video for Jimmy.  It’s called, "I’m ****ing Matt Damon" and it has her and Matt Damon singing a very funny song in an effort to spite Jimmy.  It’s very well done, and very funny, which is all I would expect from Sarah Silverman.  She is a comic genius, in my opinion.  Anyway, Jimmy is no slouch himself, and he came right back with his own video.  It’s called "I’m ****ing Ben Affleck"!!!  Hilarious!!  It has Jimmy and Ben, and a ton of other celebs singing.  It even has Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Josh Groban, and McLovin!  One of the funniest things that I have ever seen.  So if you haven’t seen it yet, check it out.  Youtube, both videos are very good, I would watch the "I’m ****ing Matt Damon" video first so that you know why Jimmy made his video.

So tomorrow should be back day.  Hopefully I will have the means to get to the gym haha.  I also am supposed to have class tomorrow night, but I haven’t put any time towards piano this week, so I may just skip class and work on catching up on my English and reading homework.  Oh!! I have so much Spanish to do!!  Ok.  I’m busy tomorrow, I guess it should be sleepy time now since it’s 5am.  Gnite.

Wow!  In the past, 2 days off was not a big deal, and would sometimes even be welcomed because I was sore or busy or whatever, but now it’s making me crazy!!!  I need to go to the gym!!  I have gotten so used to my routine of going twice a day, once in the morning for cardio, and again at night to lift weights!  So having the last two days off is making me crave the gym lol.  That seems odd, but dammit I wanna go do my triceps and abs and do some cardio!!  To be fair, I needed the rest the first day off, and yesterday I was doing homework non-stop, so at least I have been somewhat productive.  I am going to go tonight and work out, regardless of what is going on or how busy I am, if I don’t go tonight, I will end up having a nervous breakdown lol.  I used to enjoy off days and cheat meals, but I have become so embedded in my routine, that I can’t enjoy either!!!  Which is great for right now!  I’m only 53 days out from my bday, which is when I am really going to be critical of myself.  I plan on having bodyfat calipers by then, and also new pics, stats, and measurements so I can really see how I’m doing.  If I’m not pleased with the progress and direction I am going in, I will be rethinking and retooling some of my workouts, and adjusting my cardio and intensity as needed. 

So…..when I was young, I used to LOVE the group Dru Hill.  In high school, I was a major fan of hip hop and r&b music, and feel like the mid 90’s were the golden age for both.   Nowadays, hip hop is sooo weak, and all the songs are the same crap, no originality, except Kanye and Eminem.  And r&b is basically dead.   Chris Brown is cool, but who else is there?  Back in the day, we had stellar vocal groups like Boyz 2 Men, Dru Hill, Jagged Edge, Jodeci, etc.  So anyway, I don’t really know why, but I was in the shower, singing as always lol, and an old Dru Hill song popped into my head.  This was 2 days ago I guess.  I don’t even know how I remember the song or the lyrics, but it was just stuck in there!!!  Its called Beauty, and it’s a really pretty song, and then going about my day, humming this song to myself and singing it in my head…….I bumped into an old friend Kellee.  It was a funny feeling, it was like I was thinking about this song, and then the personification of the lyrics walked right in front of me lol.  So, there may be more about her in the future, but for now, it’s just nice to reconnect.  Oh, and as for my new friend Laura, we still haven’t hung out, tho she is already trying to convince me that she will kick my butt at bowling, and wants to go to an Angel’s game when the season starts in 38 days!!!  I can’t wait for opening day!!!  It’s a Friday night game, which means fireworks!!  And they are giving away cars, and John Lackey will be pitching, and Torri Hunter making his debut……it’s gonna be soooo exciting, and there is absolutely no way in hell I am missing that game!!!  Dave and I are both gonna try to get 4 tix the day they go on sale.  That way, if JR, Art, John, Khoi, Kevin, or whoever wants to come, they can.   And then if we have extra tix left over, they will be easily sold for a high price since opening day is a big attraction!  Ok, gotta go make lunch and shower.  Then it’s homework time…. and tonight, the gym!!!  Oh, and I hafta wake up early tomorrow!!  I need to spend at least 3 hours practicing piano before class, I am way behind!

Well I ended up skipping the gym completely yesterday.  I had initially planned on working out and doing my triceps and abs, but there were a few things keeping me home.  First of all, I was and am still somewhat sore from the chest and bicep beatings I inflicted on myself in my last two workouts, which is good.  Both of those bodyparts somewhat affect my triceps, so I didn’t want the soreness in other places to cause my workout to be less effective.  I hadn’t had a day off for a few days, so I just felt like one solid day of rest and relaxation would be good for me.  Also, I am out of gas!!!!  I am seriously on fumes lol, and I’m dead broke until Tuesday, so I need to not drive if possible so that I have enough gas to get to and from school, and to the mail center to pick up my check.  I’m gonna hafta bum 5 bucks off my roommate so that I don’t end up stranded on the freeway haha.  But most importantly, I have tons of homework to do!!  I’m not sure why, but these past two weeks I have been putting all my homework off till the last possible moment.  It’s not a good idea, and I need to not do that next week.  Before, I would do a little homework each night for each class, and then by Thursday or Friday I was completely done, and my weekend was mine, but last week and this week, I find myself on Sunday and I have yet to start!  So I will be a prisoner to my computer and textbooks all day until midnight, and my brain will be fried, and I will be sick of school work and not want to go to class tomorrow!  But, I gotta do it, so I’m gonna get started.  If I manage to finish everything that needs to be done, and manage to bum 5 bucks off my roommate, I will be hitting the gym tonight to do triceps, abs, and cardio.  If not, I will be in finishing homework and waiting till tomorrow to get back in the gym.  I have managed to continue eating extremely clean, which is great though!  I am going to buy some calipers so that I can measure my bodyfat percentage, and so hopefully I will be able to do that this week, and have Roger take some new pics and measurements for me so that I can update my pics and stats.  I look at those pictures and I wonder how many people laugh at me and my stupid beard haha.  Homework time…..

Okie dokie.  Tonight I did my biceps, and I blasted my guns lol.  When I was young and lean, it seemed like my biceps popped out and had really nice definition naturally, and I didn’t work them that hard at all!!  It was probably largely a result of lifting books all day long for work.  These days, they definitely feel bigger than in the past, but they dont have the shape and definition that I want yet.  So I really need to work on my mind to muscle connection when it comes to biceps, so that I am not just doing the exercises, but really concentrating on working the muscle.  I did a few new exercises tonight, just like I did during last nights chest work, so that was good.  I did 7 exercises, 4 sets of each, supersetting some of them, and included a drop set as well.  So I feel great about the workout, and my arms are certainly exhausted!

So really quick, I was reading MD and they had some really good articles regarding workout intensity and cardio.  Workout intensity is something that I feel I have in strides compared to most of the other guys in the gym.  I work hard, fast, and intensely.  I see a lot of guys do a few sets of the same crap, always with the same weight, and always taking 4 or 5 minutes between sets so they can try and use tons of weight with really shitty form.  It cracks me up.  These guys are lifting for 2 hours and get in 10 or 12 total sets because they take so damn long between sets to rest.  Me on the other hand, I superset everything, and never rest more than 60-90 seconds from one superset to the next.  So I can do 7 or 8 exercises and around 30 sets in 45-60 minutes, while these clowns take twice as long, but do less than half the work.  Seems like a huge waste of time if u ask me.  And they never even break a sweat!!!  Isn’t that the whole point of going to the gym?  To get sweaty, tired, and pumped up?  As far as cardio goes, I have been going every morning without fail, and doing 45 minutes of intervals on the elliptical machine.  While I am very happy with my consistency and work ethic, I still have tons of fat to lose around my midsection, and feel like I should be doing at least another 20 minutes of cardio at night following my workout.  I keep intending to do this, but just haven’t started doing it yet.  I was reading a Dennis Wolf article in which he discussed his cardio needs.  I would LOVE to be shredded like Dennis Wolf!!! And he doesn’t flake on his cardio ever, he does it twice a day, just like I intend to.  He clearly has a much better metabolism than I do, so I need to step it up if I am going to start seeing my abs by my birthday.  Twice a day, everyday from now on till I’m where I want to be.  Once I have my bodyfat down where I want it to be, I can start cutting back on the cardio and just use it for maintainence and do 30 minutes a day or something.  Anyway, NO SLACKING!!!

So poker…..very frustrating this past week.  I have lacked the necessary focus, and I really need to get it back.  Otherwise, I’m just wasting my time and money when I play.  Even if it’s just a two dollar tournament online, why do I want to waste the 2 bucks?  I don’t!!!  So if I can’t and don’t have 100% focus and effort, I need to just not play that day.  I played really well yesterday in a pretty big tournament, then got busted 4 spots before the money because I lost concentration.  I made a snap decision because I thought that I probably had the best hand without even taking a few seconds to think about the big picture!!  I couldve easily layed down the hand and found a better spot, especially since I was about 30 seconds from cashing!!  It was a ridiculously retarded move on my part, and I have no way of justifying my mistake.  I need to start taking a few seconds to make decisions and calculate odds and put my opponents on a hand instead of just insta-calling or whatever.  A few weeks ago when I went really deep and almost won 20K, I was making huge laydowns and really thinking clearly.  I layed down QQ twice late in that tourney in an effort to find a better spot and I was already in the money!  But yesterday I couldn’t even lay down 99 four spots from the money?!  What an idiot!  Even if I did have the best hand, I couldn’t hope for too much better than a race for all my chips right on the bubble!!!  No more nonsense like that.  There’s a time and place to gamble or race for a big pot, and on the bubble with my tourney at stake is not that time and place!

Soooo I made a new friend this week.  Her name is Laura, and she is HILARIOUS!!  She cracks me up, which I have been needing lately.  She wants me to hang out with her when we have time this week, but I dunno how my schedule is gonna be, and we both have school, etc.  She’s a big Deal or No Deal fan, just like me, so we may try to go to a taping on Friday afternoon, but who knows.  I met her sort of randomly, she’s a friend of a friend, but it’s cool.  One of my new years resolutions was to make at least 2 new friends this year.  I love all of my existing close friends, but everyone has so much going on, and Reid moved away, Art is always out of town for work, etc., etc., so I don’t get to see everyone as much as I want.  So making new friends is a good thing.  Anyway, she seems fun, and her sense of humor is great.  I don’t look at her in a romantic way, she’s not my type, but I think that’s probably better anyway.  I’m not looking to hook up or start a relationship or anything, just looking to have fun, make new friends, and heal my wounded heart.  She trained some guy to do a triathalon before, and that is one of my long term goals for the future, so maybe if I ever actually take a shot at it, she can help me out.

Last thing.  I skipped abs tonight.  Not out of laziness or anything, my arms were just so beat up, I had exhausted myself, so I would’ve had a tough time holding myself up for leg raises or anything else.  So tomorrow night I will do triceps, but that should take a lot less out of me, and I will definitely get my abs done.

So tonight was my chest workout, and I’m very pleased.  I worked extremely hard and did a few exercises that I have either never done before, or at least not in a very long time.  I knew that I had worked extremely hard because when I was done, I tested myself by doing pushups.  My goal at the start was to work hard enough that I couldn’t do more than 1 pushup at the end of my workout.  This would tell me that I was completely fatigued.  Well, I did one and a half lol.  And neither was a very deep range of motion.  So I had pretty much accomplished my goal, and was happy.  After I was done, I relaxed in the sauna, and then in the jacuzzi.  I was reading the newest issue of Muscular Development, and there were a few things in there that really caught my eye, and that I will be taking into consideration during future workouts, etc.  I’m gonna steal a few new exercises from Victor Martinez lol.  One thing that I read that I had never done, was dips as an exercise for my chest.  I know that some use them for this, but I have rarely done dips ever, and when I did it was only for triceps.  Victor swears by them for his chest workout tho, so I am going to try to finish off with them next time and see how they feel.

Other than that, not much going on.  Met with my group today and worked on our group project which is due Saturday.  Meeting one final time on Saturday morning to finalize everything and submit the project online.  Oh, and it rained today, it’s actually still raining now, which is odd for some reason.  It’s been a nice, and fairly warm week, so I wasn’t expecting the wet weather.  Ok.  Pretty boring day lol.  So 2morrow will be biceps and abs, so look out!  Oh, and Matt, a guy I know from the gym, invited me to a beer pong tournament on Saturday lol.  I don’t drink, but he’s competing, and is apparently going to be practicing all night tonight, and all day tomorrow in preparation, and he is looking for support.  It’s also my friend Jimmy’s bday on Saturday, so I may try to get JR, Art, Roger, my roomies Chris and Nick, and Jimmy to all go out to the bar for the beer pong, I’m sure Art would want to compete.  Hasta mañana.

WOW!!!!  I found out the craziest, sickest, most infuriating shit today!!!  But I have decided that it’s a blessing, since I have been asking God to help me heal my broken heart, so I am using this newfound information as a positive, and also as a sign that everything has happened for a reason, and that God has been looking out for me and my future this whole time.  As for the other party, all I can do is continue to pray for her and hope she finds her way someday, cuz she’s totally screwing up her life and she doesn’t seem to recognize it or understand the damage she’s doing.  It’s tough to change though, and things can really catch up with you later in life.  I certainly know from experience.

But anyway…..my workout tonight was legs.  When I was younger, and in studly sexy shape lol, I used to work my legs harder than any other bodypart.  I enjoyed the fact that I could lift more weight with my legs, and felt that no leg workout was complete unless I worked so hard that I puked, and couldn’t walk comfortably for a few days.  There was just something satisfying about knowing that I could leg press 500 or more pounds while I could barely lift my bodyweight for other bodyparts.  I used to destroy my legs, and enjoyed struggling to walk up and down stairs the rest of the week haha.  But back then, I was already very lean, so I did very little cardio by comparison, as I didn’t need to lose bodyfat, and my goal was to gain weight.  When I did do cardio, it was very brief 20 minute sessions, and never within a few days of having done a tough leg workout.  These days however, my goal, at least for now, is to lose my gut, lose weight and inches, and lose fat.  All of this means that I need to be, and have been doing much more cardio.  I do at least 45 minutes a day, sometimes more, but if I were blasting my legs to death, there’s no way I could possibly have the ability to get that much cardio done.  My legs just simply wouldn’t be able to handle it.  So I almost feel bad about the somewhat weak effort I put towards my leg workout tonight.  Now don’t get me wrong, I did work hard, and I will be sore tomorrow, but by the standards of my youth, this workout was pathetic.  Of course I’m trying to see the big picture though.  If I had blasted my legs, I would have regretted it the rest of the week when I was forced to skip cardio.  So, at least for now, leg workouts are an adapting process, and need to work hand in hand with the rest of my fat loss and cardio goals.  Hopefully by summertime I will have my bodyfat down, and can start to really put in some good leg workouts again.  So tonight, I did leg extensions, lying leg curls, hack squats, seated calf raises, and my obliques.  Ideally, I want to be doing all of those things, but also some leg press, some regular squats, some stiff legged deadlifts, and some standing calf raises also.  So really, I only did about half a workout, but I did lift heavy, and felt like I worked hard on what I did do, so I’m happy, just not satisfied.

My intent was to go to the gym yesterday and lift, but I let JR talk me into going to the casino with him again, which was a mistake.  I love going, and I basically went because I was starving, and they have great food very cheap.  It was a mistake though, cuz JR keeps losing all his money!!!  Not good, and as his friend, I should be stopping him from gambling.  Or at the very least, I should teach him to play poker because it would give him an opportunity to play longer, lose less money, and play a skill game instead of a pure gambling game in which the house has a huge advantage.  Anyway, I don’t want to create some gambling monster haha, so if he does go to Vegas with me in 2 weeks, I will try to curb his spending.

Last thing.  I attempted to take progress pics, and also to take new measurements, but it is not so easy by myself haha.  I don’t want to take incorrect measurements, and it’s fairly tough to get a good pic by myself, especially when the lighting sucks in this house.  So I need to enlist Roger’s help, or somebody’s help anyway.  It’s funny, I am a little paranoid about taking pics.  I look in the mirror, and I know that I am looking much better, but I also know that I still look like crap and have a ton of work to do.  The fact that girls keep hitting on me has given me a false sense of accomplishment lol, cuz none of them have seen me with my shirt off.  But my face is much thinner, which is where the attention is coming from, I’m looking cute in the face again.  Now I just need to get a tan and lose another 10 pounds off my belly and I’ll be good to go!

Oooh what a great workout tonight!!!!  I have been debating whether or not to start writing down all the weights that I use, so that I can track my progress and strength increases.  I used to do this always just so that I could see if I hit a plateau at some point, then I would know that it was time to switch up my workout and shock my body.  I also did a doggcrapp style workout for a while, which emphasizes keeping records and constantly increasing weight.  But nowadays, I switch up my workouts every week, and always change exercises, sets, reps, etc., so I don’t know that keeping records would have much impact.  I lift off of feel these days, and some days I just have more strength and stamina than others anyway.  I always warm up with a very light set to get the blood flowing and my joints warm, and then work my way up, so that my last set is as heavy as I can go and still get 6-8 good reps with good form.  I think this is the best for me right now, so I suppose I am just reaffirming to myself right now that I don’t need to write it all down as long as I am making sure to push myself to the max every night.  Besides, although getting stronger is nice, if that was my ultimate goal I would be doing a powerlifters workout.  My goal is just to improve my overall health and physique and look sexy and studly lol, so if that means using lighter weights that’s fine, I don’t need to be Mr. Macho anyway.

Soooooo, I blasted my shoulders tonight!!  I did 8 exercises, 4 sets of each, and superset 2 at a time.  I also did my abs, so I really worked hard.  This is the 1st time in years that I have worked hard enough to puke, and the 1st time that I have ever puked doing any bodypart other than legs.  The workout in order was (all supersets): hammer machine shoulder press with pec deck rear delt fly, seated dumbell arnold press with cable upright rows, ez bar 2 arm front raises with seated lateral raises, and machine overhead press with shrugs.  By the end I was so exhausted, my shoulders were on fire, and I couldn’t use very much weight at all on the machine press.  I really felt like I did all I could do, and couldn’t have done another set.  So I’m proud of myself.

So there is a really cute girl who I have seen at the gym a few times at night, I’ve mentioned her before, and she always manages to get on the treadmill next to mine, or work out on the bench next to the one I’m using.  She always strikes up a conversation, and I’m always polite and chatty, but I also am not flirty, and sometimes I think that I come off as rude since she always tries to talk to me, and I don’t even introduce myself.  She’s hot, don’t get me wrong, and other guys in the gym try to talk to her, but I have been dealing with all of this Heather stuff, and just haven’t been looking for female attention.  So tonight, she finally brought up the fact that I never introduce myself, and she wanted to know my name.  Her name is Erica, and so I shook her hand and introduced myself.  We joked about who was getting buffer, me or her, and we decided that I’m buffer, but she looks better in shorts haha.  So in the spirit of me trying to be happy for Heather, and not be pouty anymore, I let my guard down and let her flirt with me some.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going out on any dates or anything lol, but it was probably good for me to talk to a female and not feel sad about Heather.  Haha, I should ask her to join me for a carne asada burrito after we work out next time.  I always go get a burrito after my workout since I’m always hungry, and the only place that’s open at 2:30 in the morning is a 24 hour mexican place up the street.  It’s really good food though, and the burrito is all meat with some avocado, tomato, and onion, and that’s it.  So it’s fairly healthy, and extremely delicious.

I had dinner with Dave tonight at BJ’s, which was nice.  I’m not sure why he asked me to have dinner with him, but it’s always nice to talk to Dave.  We have been friends for 18 years, and he has changed so much over time, but he has a really good head on his shoulders and a really good perspective on things.  We talked about Heather, and Jasmine, his ex who he recently went through a divorce with.  Dave has become a devout Christian, and sometimes I wish that I was a better Christian like him.  I should go to church with him sometime.  He made some interesting statements about people who claim to be Christians.  A lot of people (Heather fits in this category) claim themselves as Christians because they believe in God, and Jesus Christ, and they have a certain belief in the bible, etc.  However, these people all seem to think that just because they believe, that all roads lead to Heaven, and that just believing is enough to get them in.  When in reality, how do we know that that is true?  Is it really enough just to believe?  As Dave pointed out, even the Devil believes in God, Jesus, and Heaven, and the Bible says that Satan actually fears God and His power, but just because Satan believes, certainly doesn’t mean that God is going to let him into Heaven.  Why should I be any different?  I pray all the time, and I certainly believe, but that doesn’t mean that God has to let me into Heaven when I’m gone!!  I need to live a better life.  I’m not sure that I know what that means just yet, and I’m not certain that it means that I should suddenly become some holy roller and go to church every night, because I believe that it is important to be true to myself, and I have found that church just isn’t for me all the time.  But maybe I just need to be more self aware, and make better choices in general.  It’s the little things that can make a big difference.  Helping those in need, giving back to God and the community, or just being cleaner in my relationships.  If Heather and I ever work things out, or if I ever date again, I want our relationship to be healthier and cleaner, and more loving.  I’m done arguing over petty things, or being jealous, or whatever.  I want a healthy life, a healthy relationship, a healthy body, and a healthy mind and soul.  We all make choices, and we live with the results of those choices, good or bad.  I’d like to start making good, healthy choices, so that the results are always good.  But only I can make those choices for myself.