January 19th 2008. So much has changed!!
So its been about 6 months since my last post……. Well, everything has changed, so I hafta update. Heather and I seemed to be doing so well in May and June when we 1st moved to Las Vegas, and I was happy with the gains and progress that I was making. However, in July, she began working out after work while I was still at work, which caused my motivation to suffer to a certain extent. Its much easier to go to the gym with your partner and encourage each other. But now, after I got off work, shes already exercised, and she wants me to go to the casino with her, which sounds so much more fun than going to the gym alone late at night!! Also, I had some DMV issues, and was paranoid about getting pulled over by the police, and since the gym was like 9 miles away, that also subdued my desire to go alone. So anyway, I pretty much stopped working out at the end of July, except for occasionally running a few miles around the block. My eating habits also seemed to fly right out the door, which is bad when you work in a restaurant. So anyway, August, September, and October passed, and Heather and I were doing better than ever in our personal relationship, even though she was looking cute and sexy and continued working out and I was getting fat haha! Then, to make a very long and complicated story very short, Heather decided to move to the east coast, the Washington DC area, to prepare for grad school next June. I knew she was going………eventually, but I thought it would be much closer to June, not 9 months before!!! I also thought that I would be going with her in June, but her decision to leave ahead of schedule was a decision made within 48 hours of her actually moving!! There was no way that I was prepared to quit my job, pack up my things, and move 3000 miles away from everything and everyone that I know in a 48 hour timespan. Her parents were driving cross country from California to move there also, so it was very convenient and easy on her to go, but extremely difficult for me to see her leave.
Since her departure, I havent really known where we stand. At 1st, she wanted me to come there too, so I was exploring that, but now, I guess thats not what she wants anymore. She requires alot of attention, and since I am 3000 miles away and cant give her the attention she needs, I guess she is seeking it out elsewhere. My heart is broken, and I dont understand how you can look someone in the eyes, tell them how much you love them, will always love them and only them, and want to be their wife and mother of their children someday, and then change your mind, lie, cheat, and go out with other guys within 2 weeks of being apart. I suppose its probably best for me in the long run, although Im having a hard time convincing myself that. If shes willing to walk out on me on such short notice, and willing to lie and go behind my back and cheat on me, then I was probably setting myself up for more heartache in the future. With that said, if she ever said that shes sorry and wants to be faithful to me and only me, I would take her back in the blink of an eye. I really do love her. We havent officially said that we were done, but we have argued about stupid crap, and she basically told me that she doesnt want to be my Valentine and doesnt want me to come visit her. So we havent spoken for 2 days, and I dunno if we ever will again. Its very sad.
So on to my exercise situation……. My new years resolution was to get in shape, but also to stay in shape so that next January, getting in shape is not a resolution since I will already be ripped! It seems that so many people, me included, always make the resolution to get in shape, and then dont keep it for the whole year. This just leads to the same resolution next year, its a bad cycle. Some people keep the resolution for only a few weeks, and I assume most people are like me, I keep it until summertime, so that I have a nice body for the beach or swimming pool, but after summer, my discipline fades as the holidays and busy time of year come around. But not this year!!! I am gonna stick to it all year. I have been working out just about every day so far since the 1st, and can see a difference in the mirror, as well as in how I feel. My diet has been a little better, but it needs to be alot better!! I also need to replenish my supply of supplements and make sure that my body is getting everything that it needs. A big thing for me this year is that I need to somehow become more flexible. I dont know if that just means stretching, or taking a yoga class, or what, but my lack of flexibility causes me pain in my legs and back, limits mobility and movement when exercising, and just makes me feel stiff all over. Im probably the least flexible person in the world lol, I have never not once touched my toes, not even when I was young and in great shape. I have just never had and flexibility and as I get older and heavier, I worry about injury.
Oh, almost forgot! So since Heather left, Vegas just wasnt fun anymore, so I moved back to Orange County, California. I enrolled in college…..finally, and I am trying to move forward with my life and take positive steps to a brighter future. My situation at the moment is far from ideal haha, but Im making the best of it. Im very lonely though. I spent every day for nearly 2 years with a hilarious, funny, cute, energetic, loving, best friend, and now I feel like Im the only person in the world and Ill never have love again. Alot of my closest friends have moved away or are now in serious relationships, and everyone has work and life to contend with, so I dont have people to hang out with when Im bored or feeling down. I need to try and see my buddies more, and Im sure that once baseball season starts we will all be going to Angels games together, but in the meantime I need to make new friends too and try to cheer up.
Im starving now, so Im gonna go get food and then try to do some homework, but I will be updating this with new workouts and blogs, and hopefully new pictures and stats soon. I need to update all of my personal info as well. 2008 is going to be a great year, and a healthy year.
