Seeking support
Well it is official.. after a 6 week recovery (6 weeks on Saturday) from my appendix surgery, I am back. I can almost say better then ever before with regards to being fully committed to my new 11 week goal in sight. Despite how estatic or enthusiastic I am about it- it seems to me that those people closest to me are not supportive and almost deliberatly try to sabotage my goal…. I suppose the first example I will use is my husband… first let me start by saying I love him very much, I cannot imagine my life without him- we have been married a little over a year now. My husband and I are like night and day with everything. He likes the fast night life of a city and me- well although ocassionally I could use a night out on the town- I prefer to hang out at home and get up early to get outside- go to the beach or hike just anything OUTSIDE! With this being said… 9 out of 10 times I am more on the extreme side of healthy… I am really careful about what I eat- while I eat foods that taste good to me- I eat for a purpose to fuel my body not just to eat or satisy my short term cravings, I take all of my supplements and will train until my body is absolutley exhausted and still want to do more. He just started working out (good job!) - I am really very proud of him but like I said back to night and day- he will workout for 20-30 min max then go home and eat crap and not return to the gym until the next week..his average is once a week which I admit is better then nothing! Now here is the kicker…he absolultey REFUSES to work out with me… not really sure why… Whick ok he doesnt want to workout with me- no problem- I am kinda a solo gym goer anyway …as long as I have my Mp3 player I am good.. The next kicker… he complains about how much I train and how I loose fat and tone my body- nto all the time but I get comments like "You are getting too skinny" "You need to just take a few days off from training" "Why do you eat like that, why cant you ever eat normal food?" At first I took it as a concern from him..I really thought these comments were made out of genuine concern.. well recently its become more frequent I hear these things, instead of encouragement or "good job" when I come home completely excited about breaking through a barrier I hear why do you even do that? It makes it hard… I have discussed on many occassions the need for him to be more supportive but it doesnt seem to sink in… any suggestions? Next up is my Mom and Dad- who thankfully live in Alaska while I am in beautiful Hawaii. I love them very much but wow… sometimes it is just like talking to a wall.. they dont understand my passion for health and nutrition… they dont understand while I continue to train or eat the way I do.. I hear - "We worry about your health" … all I want to say in response is you should be worrying about your health.. but I dont.. I guess what I am trying to get at before I ramble on forever is this… I need support. I need a support system of people who can be my cheerleader as I push towards goals. How do I make the people who I need most (my family) be more supportive or do I seek support elsewhere? Is there anyone else who encounters this with their family? Aren’t there other people out there who are just completley 100% interested in health and fitness and have family members just the opposite? How do you handle it? thanks for listening to the rambling… Andrea
June 13, 2007 at 3:26 pm
sound’s like he is doing the same thing that I was doing to my husband, i didn’t want to see him succeed because I was to lazy to do it myself. Or maybe he’s a little self conscious about losing you to someone else when you get your reach your goals. that may be why he tried to do the gym thing a little bit, but thought that it wasn’t for him. keep encouraging him ( thats what my husband done with me), he will come around. until then you have the support of the people at bb.com
June 14, 2007 at 4:58 pm
had a similar problem here back in jan/feb. non-support. kind of making light of my workout committment. but things improved when she saw how determined i was.
she then got back into her running with the warmer weather. things got a bit better then as well.
i’d say to keep explaining to your husband how important this is to you. and then keep showing him - through your hard work - how serious you are. my guess is that he’ll come along eventually. especially when you get even MORE looks/comments from other guys (more than normal that is !)
your success will "hellp" him get his act together. he’ll realize that he’d better get it going and improve his attitude to match yours.
make it happen BeauAmb! we know you can achieve your fitness goals.
June 15, 2007 at 2:08 am
good job, I am recovering post-appy at four weeks yesterday. Samething, Dr. don’t want me lifting anything heavier than 10 lbs. for six weeks, since he cut through my rectus abdominal muscle. However, I started doing core stuff at 3 weeks and doing well.
Prior to surgery I was training for cycle to the sun, bicycle event which runs from sea level to summit of Haleakala, in August. I can’t explain the insanenss of not training. I’m glad someone else has a similar situation and recovering well. Keep up the good work, and strive to the "summit".
June 30, 2007 at 5:44 am
I would take the first line from mrsexcel’s reply. He is probably just lazy, and seeing you succeed burns it in for him.
You get what you give. Try complimenting him on anything and everything. Hopefully he’ll come around and start complimenting you as well.