The Best Shape of My Life!

For now, at least…

I haven’t been gaining weight, and I haven’t noticed a great increase in bodyfat since the last measurement. So I’m doing all I can right now just to keep what I’ve got. Time has been sucked away from me as I’m in full deep into my thesis, as well as another graduate course. Not to mention my full time job and full time family. So yeah, CRAZY!

But, I’m keeping to my smaller workouts as much as possible. Ten minutes here and there, maybe some swimming every once in a while. Most of the workouts are done at home, but I go to the gym whenever I can. It’s a nice release from all the stresses of my job, school, and family. And for now, I’m just doing what I can to keep myself as healthy and fit as possible. Once I get my master’s degree, I can maybe attempt to get back into the whole fitness thing a bit more.

For being 28, I’m in pretty good shape. Could I be better? Sure! Especially if I had the time and were getting paid to do so. But since I don’t and am not, my life has been reduced to being "just me." But hey, that’s a pretty good life I think.

:)

I’m taking a break for a while from my profile. There are a LOT of things going on in my life, and trying to keep up with my bodyspace profile just has to take a back seat for now. My fitness/health routine is so out of whack as it is, that there really isn’t any purpose to reporting it. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m 28, I have a full time job, I have a family (and I’m getting ready to add a second child), and I’m a full-time graduate student (phd).

So I’ll keep this as updated as I can, and I’m going to attempt to keep myself as fit as possible. But it’s not an easy task. For those that like to post on my profile and/or blog, you may still do so. I’ll be checking my site, but probably just not posting as much.

Take care everyone. I wish you all the best in your own personal journies!
Nate

Okay, so I spent the weekend with family and that was awesome! I’m really getting to the point in my mind, heart/soul, and body where I can rest at night not worrying about what I look like, or if I did a workout, and if I did, was it a good one…those kinds of worries. Rather, I can rest at night knowing that I had a good day, and that’s not defined by anything physical that I do, but what I do as a person. It feels so cool to know that my daughter loves me, my wife loves me, and my families support me, in whatever I do. And they don’t care if I have a 6-pack set of abs or a bulging chest or whatever. They want me to be me.

And that’s the message I’ve been getting from God lately, too. "Just be who I made you to be, Nate," He seems to keep telling me. I have fought Him on that for a long time. I mean, look at all the Christian bodybuilders out there, right? It’s possible to serve God, be a great man, husband, father, etc., AND have a great body! But I don’t feel that as my calling. So to those out there that have been blessed by the Almighty in that endeavor, you are to be commended. God has chosen you to to do something that is cool and great! But me, I have not been called to do that.

As I like to put it, I’m an academic. I belong in the school, teaching and learning. And starting my thesis has shown me how important that is to my life. I need to do a great job on this research project. Not only does it mean getting the degree, but it truly does define who I am. Some people have their physiques that define who they are; others have their riches; I have my books, professors, colleagues, and degree/s. This is my calling. This is how I can serve God and help others become awesome people. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make me sound better than any other person. I am just an individual. There are others out there much smarter, much stronger, much faster, bigger, powerful, richer, etc., and all may work for the same God, and may all help others and may all be great. But I will not be defined by my riches (don’t have them), not by my body (I’ve been trying for years), etc. I’ll be defined by what I achieve through school and research. And so it’s time I start putting my energy into that.

God states that if we focus on what He wants us to do, He’ll take care of the rest. So I’m putting this bodybuilding and fitness thing in His hands and I’m going to go the path that He wants. Please pray for me, this will not be easy, I’m sure.

My health and fitness plan is being adjusted to meet these resorted priorities and goals (see previous blog posts). I’m in the process of developing workouts that are 10-15 minutes in length and primarily bodyweight exercises. These I can do any time of the day, all day long, and I can pick and choose the workouts that meet equipment demands or just the ones I want to do. I’ll hopefully post some of that information as I get into them. But for now it’s still reflection and experimenting with my new way of life.

And what a blessing it is! Take care everyone!
Nate

First, let me say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who has been supporting me. The thoughts and perspectives are amazingly helpful, and I want all of you (you know who you are) to know that I truly appreciate you taking the time to comment, offer encouragement and advice, or just think about me and wish me the best. You’re AWESOME!

Now, my decision (or so I’ll call it that)…

My triangle has been disrupted, and I’m realizing the full effects of it. What triangle, you may ask? The triangle of life’s balance. Let me explain my thoughts. There are three corners to any triangle, and to the balance of life there are, I believe, three elements: spirit, psyche, body. Yoga masters have long-ago figured this out. Americans not so much. But that’s a later discussion. The life balance triangle should be equilateral (I believe that’s the geometric term used), meaning that all angles and sides are the same measure. Hence, a person should "balance" their life with the right amount of spirit (yes, there’s a religious element to life), psyche (the mind and soul/passion of a person), and body (obviously the physical part). How people live a good life and can be happy when they ignore one of these elements I have no idea. But I cannot. And I refuse to do so any longer.

If you’ve been reading my blogs lately (and again, you know who you are), you know that I’ve been going through a re-evaluation of my life, my priorities, my desires, EVERYTHING. My aim is not to discredit what any other individual may or may not do; rather, to look inside myself and see what I have, what I need, and what I want out of life. My equilateral triangle because lopsided, and I began to focus mostly on the body element. I was chasing a dream that I knew wasn’t who I was. Not necessarily that I can’t achieve it. I’m sure I have the ability to reach a very low bodyfat percent (I’ve done it before, intentionally and unintentionally), and I could probably have some form of a 6-pack set of abs, etc. But I’m realizing, at 28, that who I am is not that. There are those who are cut out to be athletes, bodybuilders (in the competitive definition here), models, etc. That’s great for them, really. Their achievements are powerful and respectable. But that’s not who I am meant to be. I have a talent, a gift, an expertise, and it’s not with my body.

So I’m in the process of rebalancing my triangle, and in that process, I’m taking a little break from major exercise. I’m trying to keep my diet as good as I can (that I’ve been trying to do for years…I’ll never have a perfect diet), and I’m trying to do some minor workouts here and there. But until I figure out my true desires and goals in life, I’m laying off anything hard and intense. I need the time and energy to refocus, and I want to make sure that I put my spiritual and psychological well-being is in a good place before I drift back into the physical realm of my life.

Thanks again everyone! This process has been very uplifting and powerful so far, though it is extremely exhausting.

When I find the answer, I’ll let you know. I’ve been wrestling with this one for quite a while now, and I think it’s starting to really pull me down. What is it worth to chase down the perfect physique? What is it worth to be the fittest, strongest, fastest, biggest, etc. person out there? What is it worth to put my body through all the stress and havoc?

I’m tired of playing games, and I’m tired of marketing scams. Do I need a 6-pack set of abs? Do I need ripped muscles bulging out of every crevace of my body? Do I need a 30 inch waist? Do I need to bench press 450 lbs? WHAT IS IT THAT I NEED?

And, when I find out what I need, then the ultimate question still remains…What is it worth to pursue those things?

Read my previous blogs to get more info on where I’m coming from. Sure, there are automatic answers that have been developed by the bodybuilding world, supplement companies, food manufacturers, fitness equipment providers, and even personal trainers. But are those automatic answers justifiable?

In other words, is there a difference between the marketed answers and the real answers to sustainable health and fitness? Just like the Transformers, I believe there’s more to it than meets the eye. So what is it worth to have a 6-pack? Is that the be all to end all in fitness? Or is there something deeper, something more intwined the fabric of human life?

This may seem like a bunch of ranting, but I assure you I’m not going crazy. I’m going through some heavy changes in my life for sure. A spiritual and pscyhological renewal, beginning work on a thesis, prepping for a new year of teaching, and realizing that I’m 28 and not 18 (though I don’t want to go back to those days…sorry all you young punks out there).

More on this later. For now I need rest. Feel free to comment.

To start on a good note:

I have consistently been logging nutritional and activity information since May 21, 2009. I tend to go in phases of logging and then not logging. I was looking through my fitness files the other day and thought about that. I am really happy about the notebook I’ve been using, and I actually feel good about logging things, even if it’s not the healthiest thing in the world. So, I’m hoping that this logging system will last.

Now onto my goals:

I originally set a 12% bodyfat goal for 1 August 2009. That was near the beginning of June. My rationale was (though I knew 12% from 16% in two months was a stretch) was that I could make some pretty substantial changes in my diet. Those have NOT occurred.  Though I am getting better about eating fruits and veggies, and I’m making better overall choices as far as food is concerned, I’m not getting to the point where I can really make a substantial dent in bodyfat.

In the past, I have dropped weight and bodyfat in the summertime because I’ve been more active. But it seems like this year I haven’t had the motivation to get out and do things. My daughter is old enough now that she wants to play and do things, but of course, those activities are a great workout for her…not for me. And I have a hard time justifying a personal workout when it takes time away from my family. So I’ve been trying to do my workouts either late in the evening or in the morning (while they’re still asleep). With my sleep schedule all thrown off, that even has been difficult.

And then add to that my thesis, which I’m really getting into. This is my academic priority at this point in my life. Not just because I need to finish it, but because I want to do it, and I want to do a very good job on it. I’m in training to be a researcher, so I want to take care to do this well. Gathering the preliminary research has already proven to be somewhat difficult, and I’m hitting some roadblocks in the early stages of my research. But I’ll overcome them, as I always do. It just might take time away from other things.

Readjustment of Priorities:

Every now and then it’s good for a guy (and girl) to reexamine his/her priorities in life. Just 8-10 years ago, I would give you a completely different set of priorities. But now, at 28 and with a family, I have to look very carefully at my priority order. So after some deep thought (and a spiritual and psychological renewal thanks to God and a very close friend of mine), I’ve reconsidered my priorities.

1. To be a better servant of God Almighty.

I have been lazy about this lately, and it’s time I get back to it. God has called me for a purpose, and He has been faithful and patient with me. Now I need to pick up the slack. My fitness had, at times, consumed me to the point of complete vanity. Now God is calling me back to what I need to get done, and that is something other than the perfect physique. There are some who are called to have 6-pack abs and chiseled bodies, and then there are some who are called for other things. I have not been called to be a model. Bummer for me, I guess. But realizing that there is so much more to life than having chiseled abs or a bulging chest has actually be exhonorating for me, and I feel much better about my life than I had. After chasing a 6-pack set of abs and an 8% bodyfat goal for years, I’m finally starting to see myself more for who I really am. And more importantly, who I’m supposed to be.

2. To be a better husband and father.

Family is everything. Without it, you have nothing. Married or not, with kids or not, everyone has a family. Unfortunately, some are disconnected from it, and that’s a shame. Family is what pulls us through. I’m beginning to feel more connected to my family (both immediate and extended), and that’s a great thing. Specifically, I’m aiming to devote more of my energies to my wife and daughter. Sure, I’ve always loved them, and I’ll continue to love them. But sometimes they’ve gotten the shaft as I have pursued other priorities. Time to put them back where they belong. Right underneath God.

3. To obtain my M.S. and then continue with my doctoral studies.

This, I believe, is my biggest calling in life. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do, and what I would be good at. The story is actually pretty interesting how I ended up where I did and in what degree program. If you want to know, I’ll tell you. But for now, know this. I feel deeply passionate about my graduate studies, and they have already begun to make me a better person, teacher, friend, and husband/father. I know, it sounds weird maybe. How can going to graduate school help with personal issues? Well, with me, it’s because I have had to manage my time more wisely and cut out the things that aren’t that important. To me, things serve a purpose and a function. If that purpose isn’t necessary, I try to eliminate it.

4. Everything else.

Because, if I focus on the above three items, everything else will be taken care of. I’ll be a better teacher because of my professional development and relationship to friends and family. Again, it might seem weird how everything may be connected, but I’m tell you, everything is connected. If I can help myself with one thing, I will also be helping myself with other things. And then, if I can help myself, I can help others more effectively. And that’s what I live for.

NEW GOALS:

1. Renew myself spiritually every day. Learn to walk more with God, not with the world.
2. Continue to modify diet. Aiming for >3 veggies and >72 oz of water per day.
3. Aim for 12% bodyfat by December 31, 2009.

Well, I had a very fun 4th of July weekend! Though my diet was terrible (expected during holidays), I enjoyed a lot of relaxing time with family (albeit in-laws) and got in some good activity, too. I spent a lot of time in the pool outside, which was great! I love the water, and I love swimming. I titled this blog entry "recovery" for a reason. This week, I hope to recover from the excess of the weekend, and get myself back on track to living healthier and better.

My recovery will focus on the following items.

1. Recovering from a huge sunburn. Yeah, I know, I should put sunscreen on. Didn’t think of it until after I was burned somewhat. I’ll recover, and probably even get a bit of a tan from it, but I know it’s doing a number on my skin. Though it’s frustrating, I was made with light skin for a reason (though I haven’t figured it out yet), and I probably ought to start taking care of it. So here comes the lotion!

2. Recovering from massive amounts of excess carbs and fats. You don’t want to know how many hot dogs, hamburgers (80% lean beef), and bratwursts I ate this weekend! Or the chips. Or the homemade ice cream. Oh wow, that ice cream was delicious! I hadn’t had homemade ice cream in a LONG time. Oh, and there were cookies and cakes, and even some fruit on the side. Yes, I did eat some of the fruit. Did I mention that the buns for the meat were enriched flour white buns? Or does it really matter at this point with all the other stuff I had? At least I drank diet sodas instead of regular ones (and this is after I was doing so well at trying to rid myself of all sodas from my diet!). GGGGGGRRRRRRR.

3. Recovering from laxity in workouts. Oh sure, it was just Fri, Sat, and Sun that I went without a workout. And sure, I was in the pool a lot on Sat and Sun, and sure, I got in some activity, and at times, that activity was at a fairly good intensity level. But let’s be real. There’s a big difference between activity that’s purely for fun and activity that is for blood, sweat, and tears. Water volleyball with family is good activity, but it’s not a hardcore workout. So this week I want to get back to the sweating game (or dripping if I’m in the real pool at the Y) and get back into some hardcore training.

Overall, though, my weekend was good. Entertaining, quality time with some very good people. Yes, for the public record, I love my in-laws! They’ve been very very good to me. So I enjoy taking time to be with them. And I figure I always have tomorrow to get back to work. And if tomorrow never comes (there’s a great thought to have at 11:40 pm on Sunday night), well…at least I know I had some fun before I left.

Have a great week, everyone!
Nate

Sorry….not daily blog for 7/2 and 7/3, and there probably won’t be one for 7/4 either. I might do a summary of them (briefly) on Sunday, but don’t count on it.

I’m exhausted, but not tired. Happens to me every once in a while. I’ve been staying up late working on the house and doing some preliminary research for my thesis (and taking care of some very important personal issues which I will not disclose), and so my sleep schedule has been knocked off schedule. I’ve been walking around the past couple days just kind of in a daze, but when I try and sleep, I can’t. Stress and high running emotions, I know.

So I’m hoping that tomorrow (the 4th) I can enjoy being with family and just relax. Maybe it will take some of the load off me. I’m not going through an anxiety attack or anything like that, and the stress isn’t a deadline stress. Rather, it’s an excited stress. I just started my thesis, and I think I have a really good option to pursue (and so does my adviser), and I’m going through a personal transformation (mostly spiritual, not physical). It’s taking it’s toll.

So more to come, I promise (for those who are actively or inactively following my blog). If anyone has questions about what I’ve done the past few days concerning diet or exercise, feel free to email, PM, or chat. I’m just not posting it here.

See everyone on the 5th!

Though I’ve never been diagnosed with it (because I refuse to see a psych), I think I have SAD, or at least have a major mood change during the winter. I don’t necessarily mind the colder weather, but the shorter days really bum me out. And along with that comes a gain in weight (always added fat) and a whole bunch of other issues.

But, I’m trying not to let it get to me as much this year. I’ve created a bodyweight program that I think is pretty challenging. At least the few workouts that I’ve done so far have been really good. I’m sore this morning from yesterday’s workout. It’s funny how the body itself can be it’s strongest challenge.

One of these days I’ll be able to get back out to the park and the road, and I’ll feel much better. I guess I could use the winter to try and just massively bulk, but I just really don’t want to gain a bunch of weight. And, every time that I have tried to gain weight, I’ve failed. Something about the number 190 that I just can’t break. GGGGGRRRRRRR. I suppose if I consumed a bunch of extra supplements I could probably force my body to break the number, but I’m not much into supplements. I hate taking any kind of medicine or additive (I’m prescribed an asthma medication and I forget to take it a lot), I don’t really believe in them, and they’re expensive.

So…………..spring, where are you?

THE LONGEST, HARDEST, MOST EXHAUSTED SEMESTER OF SCHOOLING IS OVER!

I feel so relieved……no energy, no excitement, no celebration. Just………it’s done.

Taking 9 hours of grad study (intensive grad classes, too) and working full time about killed me! I hope to have to nver do that again. Either go full time grad, or stay full time working. Sure, I liked the challenge, but I know I did not do as well in my classes as I could have or should have because of everything else going on.

Next semester I’m only taking 6 hours of grad study, and I think the courses will be a bit lighter (notice I did NOT say easy). I’m hoping that this will give me some time so that I can pick back up my exercise routine. I probably still will not focus much on lifting weights, but I do want to add in more workouts overall, and probably a lot of bodyweight and small dumbbell work for strength/endurance.

We’ll see. Right now I just want to finish out my work (last day of the semester is today) and then enjoy my break.

Have a merry Christmas and happy New Year everyone! If you don’t celebrate either of those….well, have fun anyway!