This is an update from this post: http://blog.bodybuilding.com/batlangelina/2007/09/27/feeling-great/
I hadn’t heard from Krissy since my email reply. I finally stopped her at church this past Sunday to say we should talk and left it up to her to call me. We spoke on the phone last night…
Basically what she said to me was first: She did reply back to my email (She did??! I never got it… She said "Oh, must be because I switched emails…." Well OK then, BUT she sent her ‘first’ letter to me from the new email- so why wouldn’t I get the 2nd? Her email isn’t blocked or spammed??! I said, "Oh yea, then send it to me still…" I haven’t got it yet????)
Then she said as far as competing goes… She saw it affecting my health (What the low carb, lots of cardio- general cranky and tired stuff that comes with it??!!! Guess she didn’t know that’s normal… so I won’t place blame there! 
Then she said to wear such skimpy stuff to have people look at you (She also commented on my pictures being too risky… whereas there are a lot more racier photos out there.) - what point is that and what God fulfilled purpose does it fall into? (To which my reply was something like… It’s a competition, though not even that really… it’s to show off how hard you’ve worked for something in no less than what a bikini would be. I don’t believe I got myself into this whole thing, I believe God brought me to it… to show me and others that ANYTHING through Him IS indeed made POSSIBLE! I have people ask me for advice and motivation and sometimes I think- ‘WHY ME??!" I’m no expert by far… but I’ve been there and I have come to this point and the knowledge I have, I will use to HELP others. (I guess she doesn’t understand what it’s like for someone that’s overweight often with health issues.. so why would it be important to her?!) Obesity is a Bigger issue in today’s world that we face- Just look at all the products, gimmicks, fad diets there are out there… I want to bring to the masses the understanding of food, balance, exercise and a healthy lifestyle that only comes through hardwork and determination!
Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.The Lord knows my heart and that it’s genuine so He will see to my success.
She also said with not really an explanation that she won’t be in my wedding because she cannot support my relationship because of our level of intimacy. (Ok??! Because we like being close, kissing, hugging… This same girl begged to have her hand held by this guy or else she was gonna forget it all! Well, I guess he held her hand and God forbid kissed her when he proposed??!! Now they are looking to buy a house and marry in March- less than a year of getting together? Now, I’m not knocking the whole fast paced relationship thing, but come on- Can I say her fiance is a WACKO!!!! No, I never did to her ofcourse and for her to say crap about mine.. what gives her the right? I don’t judge their relationship, I just wish her happiness so WTF?! I guess she was NEVER a TRUE friend, because can’t you put all that aside- agree to disagree and still be my friend and be there for me??!! Don’t promise me you’ll be in my wedding and then totally DIS me - Which I can add with certainty that she would have never done if not for her guy!!!).
Never judge. The heart of man is so delicate, so complex, only its Maker can know it. Each heart is so different, actuated by different motives, influenced by different sufferings.
One can make righteous judgments, fine… but not without looking at oneself first. Still, friends stick together…
What is the measure of a friend??
How do you weigh the measure of a friend?
Is it head to toe or end to end?
Is it in his weight or the measure of his gait?
How do you weigh the measure of a friend?
The measure of a friend is trust.
The things you do for each other, friend to friend, brother to
brother.
Do you see these things in me?
If in hard times, will you trust me?
Will you see me for who I am or as others say I am?
The measure of a friend is this…….
LOYALTY TIL THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You love a friend at all times… It’s okay to tell me you think something is wrong but to dump me all together after I have been there through her stuff?! A friend is supposed to stick closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24) this wasn’t the case. I was mistakenly wrong about someone I never thought would do something like this and that is why I’m writing my feelings out here. She said that everything spoken was out of love and not to hurtful (Fine, but it did hurt- now what? Obviously she doesn’t care to continue or fix that… But really, why should I be hurt? I’m more upset and disappointed really in our “friendship” ending.. shocked really. I have no regrets about my life, past or present- it has brought me to where I am today and who I am today- and I believe that person to be a very strong, passionate, loving and God fearing woman!)
I don’t know what I have done to make her feel this way or why she has these opinions… she said it was all from the Spirit and not her fiance. She said, she’s grown over the past few months and obviously her life plans are not to include me. I am not wicked and by my activities in no way would bring her down to a worldly level or cause her to sin- maybe she’s not strong enough to handle being in this world and dealing with it? I don’t know.. but I believe, as Christians, we are to go into this world to share the good news (Mark 15:15), not just practice what you preach and keep it to yourself. How are we to grow and learn in that? I do believe you should carefully choose your friends (obviously after this..) and who you keep close, but The Lord wants us amongst the world yet not a part of the world. Now, no matter how hard we try though, we’ll still sin- everyone does regardless if their “hermit-like” or not!
If there was any good advice or sensible reason for what she said, I would accept it. Friend - No more - Foe - She’s not. What’s an F* word in between those, huh??! haha..
Here is an interesting poem called My Friend - My Foe by Lorraine M. Hall, USA:
RAGING; SEETHING; COAL BLACK EMBERS
YOU HAVE SET YOUR HEART AGAINST ME
PUMPING POISONS THROUGH YOUR VAINS
THROBBING; BEATING; THROBBING
MONTH AFTER MONTH, YEAR AFTER YEAR
YOUR ANGER MULTIPLIES
MAGNIFIED ONE MILLION TIMES
AND I DON’T HAVE A CLUE AS TO WHYYOUR LIES ARE BRED AT THE THE BASE OF TRUTH
AND SPREAD LIKE A DEADLY PLAGUE
SPLIT TONGUES; TRIPLE FACES; NO MIND FOR A LIFE OF YOUR OWN
WHER HAVE YOU BEEN? WHERE ARE YOU NOW? AND WHERE WILL YOU GO FROM HERE?
MY FRIEND - MY FOE, YOU CAN TAKE A REST
FROM THE FIGHT YOU HAVE FINALLY WON
AS FOR ME; IV’E THROWN IN THE TOWEL
THOUGH A BATTLE IS YET TO COME!
BUT FIRST; LIKE THE LONELY CATERPILLAR, I WILL CRAWL INTO A COCOON TO ENDURE THE DEATH OF METAMORPHISIS
AND WHEN I EMERGE, WILL FLY AWAY ON THE WINGS OF A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY
AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
I don’t necessarily think this poem summarizes us in particular, but I do think it shows frankly her decision of separation to a sharp degree and my life carrying on while she may look back in anger whereas I NEVER will.I forgive but don’t forget, lesson learned, I’m moving on…
How appropriate!! So the trick will be to keep envisioning these events and goals, knowing that it will come up fast although it seems like I have plenty of time now… HAHA, not really!!! Maybe I’m just getting old and my mind is tricking me? 
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