Krissy - The Friend or Foe?
This is an update from this post: http://blog.bodybuilding.com/batlangelina/2007/09/27/feeling-great/
I hadn’t heard from Krissy since my email reply. I finally stopped her at church this past Sunday to say we should talk and left it up to her to call me. We spoke on the phone last night…
Basically what she said to me was first: She did reply back to my email (She did??! I never got it… She said "Oh, must be because I switched emails…." Well OK then, BUT she sent her ‘first’ letter to me from the new email- so why wouldn’t I get the 2nd? Her email isn’t blocked or spammed??! I said, "Oh yea, then send it to me still…" I haven’t got it yet????)
Then she said as far as competing goes… She saw it affecting my health (What the low carb, lots of cardio- general cranky and tired stuff that comes with it??!!! Guess she didn’t know that’s normal… so I won’t place blame there! 
Then she said to wear such skimpy stuff to have people look at you (She also commented on my pictures being too risky… whereas there are a lot more racier photos out there.) - what point is that and what God fulfilled purpose does it fall into? (To which my reply was something like… It’s a competition, though not even that really… it’s to show off how hard you’ve worked for something in no less than what a bikini would be. I don’t believe I got myself into this whole thing, I believe God brought me to it… to show me and others that ANYTHING through Him IS indeed made POSSIBLE! I have people ask me for advice and motivation and sometimes I think- ‘WHY ME??!" I’m no expert by far… but I’ve been there and I have come to this point and the knowledge I have, I will use to HELP others. (I guess she doesn’t understand what it’s like for someone that’s overweight often with health issues.. so why would it be important to her?!) Obesity is a Bigger issue in today’s world that we face- Just look at all the products, gimmicks, fad diets there are out there… I want to bring to the masses the understanding of food, balance, exercise and a healthy lifestyle that only comes through hardwork and determination!
Proverbs 16:3
and your plans will succeed.The Lord knows my heart and that it’s genuine so He will see to my success.
She also said with not really an explanation that she won’t be in my wedding because she cannot support my relationship because of our level of intimacy. (Ok??! Because we like being close, kissing, hugging… This same girl begged to have her hand held by this guy or else she was gonna forget it all! Well, I guess he held her hand and God forbid kissed her when he proposed??!! Now they are looking to buy a house and marry in March- less than a year of getting together? Now, I’m not knocking the whole fast paced relationship thing, but come on- Can I say her fiance is a WACKO!!!! No, I never did to her ofcourse and for her to say crap about mine.. what gives her the right? I don’t judge their relationship, I just wish her happiness so WTF?! I guess she was NEVER a TRUE friend, because can’t you put all that aside- agree to disagree and still be my friend and be there for me??!! Don’t promise me you’ll be in my wedding and then totally DIS me - Which I can add with certainty that she would have never done if not for her guy!!!).
Is it head to toe or end to end?
Is it in his weight or the measure of his gait?
How do you weigh the measure of a friend?
The measure of a friend is trust.
The things you do for each other, friend to friend, brother to
brother.
Do you see these things in me?
If in hard times, will you trust me?
Will you see me for who I am or as others say I am?
LOYALTY TIL THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RAGING; SEETHING; COAL BLACK EMBERS
YOU HAVE SET YOUR HEART AGAINST ME
PUMPING POISONS THROUGH YOUR VAINS
THROBBING; BEATING; THROBBING
YOUR ANGER MULTIPLIES
MAGNIFIED ONE MILLION TIMES
AND I DON’T HAVE A CLUE AS TO WHYYOUR LIES ARE BRED AT THE THE BASE OF TRUTH
AND SPREAD LIKE A DEADLY PLAGUE
SPLIT TONGUES; TRIPLE FACES; NO MIND FOR A LIFE OF YOUR OWN
WHER HAVE YOU BEEN? WHERE ARE YOU NOW? AND WHERE WILL YOU GO FROM HERE?
MY FRIEND - MY FOE, YOU CAN TAKE A REST
FROM THE FIGHT YOU HAVE FINALLY WON
AS FOR ME; IV’E THROWN IN THE TOWEL
THOUGH A BATTLE IS YET TO COME!
BUT FIRST; LIKE THE LONELY CATERPILLAR, I WILL CRAWL INTO A COCOON TO ENDURE THE DEATH OF METAMORPHISIS
AND WHEN I EMERGE, WILL FLY AWAY ON THE WINGS OF A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY
AND NEVER LOOK BACK!
November 15, 2007 at 10:39 am
I couldn’t read all of your blog because i have class now, but i agree with you - commit to the Lord and tell other sthe good news.
November 15, 2007 at 11:05 am
First, you have a lot of standards about what friendship is and isn’t. Consider that.
Second, My friends are friends because I know the worst about them and love them anyway.
Not everybody will be a life long friend.
Is being right more important than the friendship?
Just some thoughts…
November 15, 2007 at 11:46 am
BUGMAN-
1. i never placed standards on the relationship- i accepted her for herself.. i didn’t know there was such a thing as "frienship standards"??? friendship (defined here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship) is something i VALUE and don’t like to throw away so easily…..
2. i never said i didn’t love her, nor that i hated her. i forgive her and would like to remain a friend, but i don’t think that’s possible on her side - can’t force someone to be my friend, now can i??
i think she is a different person and this was almost overnight, that’s why i question her motive and recent withdrawl, not just from me but many others, and many things i know she used to love… you know it’s kind of like noticing warning signs that someone’s becoming suicidal….?! there’s just something NOT right.
but yes, who am i to say what’s right for her life? why i’m not! i told her i wish her all the best… this isn’t a battle of who is right or wrong, i’m sorry you got that impression.. i am simply dumbfounded about her decision to cut me out - obviously she’s the one with standards and i just don’t rank high enough..
if i could change things, and right this thing, i would- i do miss her as a friend but i’m afraid we are just too different persons now to be life long friends.. sisters in The Lord, yes, always.
all that’s left is to keep it in prayer, keep the faith and have hope that we can come to terms and be on common ground. by me saying i won’t look back, just means i’ve done all i can and really have nothing left to say, give to this whole thing so i really shouldn’t waste more time with this.. i shouldn’t have to fight to keep a friendship alive!
November 15, 2007 at 12:10 pm
I agree with your reply.
Something to consider. Sometimes when people get into a new relationship they withdraw from friends. One of my best friends, who was once a room mate, disappears off the planet when he gets into a new relationship. That may be the real source of this change.
I wasn’t criticizing you, just posting a thought that occurred as I read your initial post. I hope you didn’t take it as a criticism. If you did, I didn’t communicate my thought very well. Sorry about that.
I
November 15, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Wow girl,
Maybe she is not used to the new person you have become inside and outside and that is a lot for some people to deal with. You have empowered yourself mental, physically, and spiritually. On top of that you have gain a new level of confidence about yourself and some people can not deal with that or they even become more self conscience about themselves. Which I think is the her issue.
All, I can say is pray on it and let your heart lead you to the best decision of either remaining friends or move on. I know personally after I have lost the weight some of my closet friends of become more of just acquaintances now. One, would get mad at me because there spouse would say, "you should go workout with Natasha or You friend Natasha looks great!" And if a women is not strong that can make you a threat to her and she will distance herself from you. You know what I mean?
You hang in there girl. Keep doing what your heart desires. You are awesome and I am glad that I know you.
Have a great rest of your day. I have to jog for 2 miles tonight. Yikes!! I have already did tae bo amped too, lol.
November 15, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Wow your story made me sad and I feel for you the loss of a friend! I can see where you would be confused but as a guy who has lived 50 years and has seen a lot all I can say is that at the end of the day the only one we can really take care of is ourselves! All we can do is try to live our lives the way we believe they should be and do what we believe is just and right and hope our loved ones follow suit! I wish you the best of luck!!
November 19, 2007 at 3:59 am
You can still be faithful to your faith and pursue body building, your friend’s world view is too narrow. As for your friendship, if you still have things in common you may be able to rekindle it. Friendships evolve, good luck resolving this.
November 19, 2007 at 6:29 am
Her view has been confirmed and she is quite content with her current life and relationships, so this is where it ends.. ‘Too bad, So sad’.
November 21, 2007 at 4:21 am
Some times people are in our lives for only a short period of time. Its obvious that she had issues and can not accept the terms of friendship. Being a friend doesnt mean we have to agree or like everything that friend does. It means that we care about the person and wish them happiness. We enjoy spending time with them and not judging them for their actions. It sounds to me like yu have grown and she just cant accept it. She may have some jealousy issues as well. Hang tough. Your true to yourself and that is all that matters.