babycarol’s BodyBlog

I’ve started out the new year off right and I’m feeling really good about things.  This has been the first time in years that I haven’t been worried about my weight.  It feels really great to be at a healthy weight.  I still want to lose more but It isn’t as serious as needing to lose weight for your health.

I’m disappointed that I haven’t been running as much or going to the gym as much. It is so hard to start back up.  I’ve been out of it since the end of October because I had an injury.  I’m motivated, I just feel tired and I’m getting sore, I usually don’t.  I guess my body just needs to build it self back up to where I was.  I was doing so much that what I’m doing now seems like nothing to me.  I ran 14 miles last week and I feel bad because I didn’t run more and I didn’t go to the gym.  I need to give myself a brake and be happy about what I am doing. I just want to magically be where I was like nothing happened.

I found my old measurement.  I am shocked about how many inches I’ve lost.  I lost over 10 inches in my waist and hips.  I’m to embarrassed to say how many everywhere but I’m proud of myself at the same time.  I was killing my self and I’m ashamed. I’m really glad I found this, it give me motivation to be healthier and never to get anywhere near that weight again.  I’m still amazed that I let myself go like that.  I didn’t care at all about my health or what I looked like.  I’m feeling a little emotional right now.  I just had to share this with someone.  I’m just really glad that I got off my ass and did something to improve my life.  I’m not even the same person anymore and I’m happier and It has nothing to do with what I look like, I has every thing to do with how I feel.

I’m starting really to hate holidays.  Everyone tries to get me to eat things that I have no business eating.  Now It’s going to take me all week or longer just to get back to feeling normal.  I ate way to much.  I hope I can get to the point where I can say no.  Well at least I had fun.  I still haven’t returned to my regular exercise since being hurt so I have a double whammy.  I’m trying not to get discouraged.  I seem to let things pull me down a little to easy.  It is better then it was but I have a long way to go.

I’m having a hard time getting back to the gym since I hurt myself.  I have lost some of my motivation.  I didn’t gain any weight while I was hurt, so I’m very happy about that.  I just need to stop thinking about it so much and just get up and do it.   It’s so easy to be lazy.  I just have to remember how good it makes me feel to exercise.

I’m taking a break for 2 weeks.  I hurt myself.  I wasn’t exercising when I got hurt ,of course.  It seems when ever I get hurt it’s because I’m clumsy.  lol…I’m just concerned that it will take me so long to get back to normal.  I hate when I can’t exercise it sucks.  My day doesn’t even go right.  I just need to be patient.  I don’t want to gain any weight either.

I ran over 9 1/2 miles today.  I’m so proud of myself.  I want to be able to run a marathon one day.  Just once.  I just had a great day.  I didn’t eat to much and I ate good food.  I really feel good about the future and becoming the best person I can be in every thing I do.

I’ve been messing up for the last week or so.  I’ve lost sight of what I really was trying to accomplish and that is making myself the best me I can be.  Not only physically but mentally.  I think I’m back on track.  I wasn’t eating enough and I was over exercising.  Now that I’ve had a little rest and reflected on my mistakes, I’m ready to take on my responsibility to myself.  This has never been about anyone but me, trying to feel good and be healthy.  When it comes down to it, I’ve come way to far to let some little things bother me so much that I become so twisted up inside that I can’t take care of my self. I can do this.  I just forgot for a minute that it’s ok to mess up sometime (more often then not sometimes… hahaha).

Last week I ran 30 miles, went to spinning classes at the gym 3 times, lifted weights once and (not to mention walking the dog 2 miles a day)now my body hurts so bad.  I don’t know if I should ignore it and keep going?, or do I need to rest a few days?, or what?.   I seem to feel better when I keep moving.

I started lifting weights again and I’m still really afraid of getting to big.  I’ve been so heavy in the past that I feel like I’m just getting bigger and bigger.  I know it’s all in my mind but I’m having a hard time getting over it.   I’m really not sure If I should lift heavier, cause I can, or should I just do light weights and high reps.  I hate to take just one persons word for it.  I’ve been stuck at the same weight for a while so I have to do something a lot different.  It amazes me how your body can get used to anything.