Augustbloom’s BodyBlog

I hate stubborn belly fat!  It amazes me that people who are taller than me have such an easy time keeping a flat stomach even if their overall body fat is higher than mine.  I attribute my ability (or lack of) to get rid of belly fat to my height. I’m seeing muscles in my quads pop out everywhere, which I never thought would happen but is the roll around my waist gone?…No!  It seems to persist no matter what I do!  I’ll admit that it’s getting smaller and less prominent but I’ve never worked so hard IN MY LIFE to get anything!!! (well that’s an overstatement, but you get my point).  People think I’m obsessed with my body right now which is absolutely crazy cuz if I was, I wouldn’t still have this roll of fat!  When people tell me that I’m working too hard and need to cut back on the gym, all I can think is ‘If that were true, I wouldn’t still have a belly.’  I feel unworthy of their comments cuz people who are truly obsessed already have the perfect abs.  The belly is what wakes me up at 4 AM every morning so I can get to the gym at 5 AM and then it calls me again at 7 PM to get my butt (or should I say belly) back in the gym again.  Whenever I feel like I just want a few more almonds than I should, whenever I feel like I want some dry roasted peanuts (my favorite!), or whenever I feel I want one more rice cake, I have to remember…THE BELLY!

I’ve gotten so many comments on my weight loss these past few weeks!  It feels so amazing to have people notice the changes I’ve been making!  In particular, I’ve gotten compliments from my guy friends and most of them tell me not to lose any more weight.  They know I weight train a lot and they’re afraid I’m gonna start "looking like a man!"  It was never my intent to get that muscular anyway but the way some of them go on and on about it has me a little conflicted.  It’s even made me reconsider my goals.  I’m to the point now where I lie when people ask me how much more weight I want to lose.  They always tell me I’m crazy when I say I’d like to lose 20 more pounds!  So now I just tell people I wanna lose five more pounds so they don’t think I wanna look anorexic.  I look great in my clothes now but the thing is that almost anyone can look great in clothes because clothes hide a lot of imperfections.  But the thing is that I wanna look great naked too!

I’ve eased up a little on the weight lifting cuz of all the comments.  Instead of lifting until failure on every set, I might stop short of failure instead.  My current focus is to cut the fat and maintain the muscle I’ve worked so hard to build.  I’m content with how my body looks now but I think I’ll be truly happy when I weigh between 105 and 110 pounds.  Who knows, maybe this goal will change too!

I’m totally exhausted.  I’ve been working with a trainer online for the past two weeks and I can’t believe I even thought this at first, but I didn’t really believe an online trainer would help me much.  Boy was I wrong!  My new workout and eating plan has really shaken up my routine and it’s been a lot to get used to.  I wake up at 4:15 AM to do about 35 minutes of cardio and then I weight train when I get off work in the evenings.  The real problem has been getting enough sleep.  At best, I’m getting 6.5 hours a night.  I noticed I’m stressed, unable to focus, and am dealing with intense cravings to calm the stress.  I told my trainer what’s going on and she said I need to get more rest.  I’m just not sure how to do that.  Sunday is my off day so I’ll make sure I rest as much as possible but during the week, I don’t think I can get any more than 6.5 hours of sleep a night.  I’ll attempt to make more of my meals on the weekend so I’m cooking less during the week.  Also, I plan to buy oatmeal, rice cakes, and protein powder to keep in my desk at work, cutting down on the amount of lunch-packing I have to do at home.

I hope next week is a better week for me.  Since I’ve been working with the trainer, I’ve lost about five pounds.  Giving up is not an option!

Christmas Day was great!  I indulged at every meal and didn’t feel an ounce of guilt! I ate about five or six brownies, dressing, sour cream cake, and two different kinds of banana pudding.  I think I’m paying for it today though cuz I’m really bloated.  I went to the gym today and felt like I was on the verge of vomiting a couple times…weird!  I know I was pushing myself really hard but I always push myself really hard in the gym.  I was working my chest and triceps and felt like I was gonna throw up while I was on the triceps push-down machine.  I’ve already taken some fiber capsules (trying to stay away from the stimulants) so hopefully things will get moving and I’ll feel better tomorrow!  This afternoon I saw an advertisement for a Benefiber mix that you add to a glass of water.  I’m thinking about buying some of that so I can take it every day without having to down five pills every time I eat.

Since this is my first blog on BodySpace, I wanted it to be about something fun.  However, the last week and a half has been pretty hard for me and I sorta hit a low point on Sunday.  With the holidays being here, it’s been kinda hard to stick to my diet as much as I have been these past few months.  For the past four months, I’ve been able to attend office parties without touching a morsel of food that I shouldn’t but the last week consisted of me cheating a little (or a lot) every day.  My roommate and I had a holiday party at our place on Saturday and I completely went overboard.  I didn’t expect to be strict that day anyway but the problem is that I kept eating chips, dip, cheesecake, and jambalaya on Sunday–very bad!  I felt like I had lost my motivation.  I was finally able to pick myself up and jump back on the low-carb bandwagon on Monday.  I had to make sure to stick to it Monday through today since I Christmas day will be another cheat day.

I have to remember "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels."  Whenever I eat food that’s off limits, I have to ask myself if it was really worth it.  The answer is sometimes an emphatic "YES!" and so I’m trying to limit myself to just those foods for my cheat meals.  I love desserts so it’s all right with me if I eat salad all day but I get to have cake and brownies later.  I going to bake some cake tonight for Christmas and hopefully, I can resist the urge to splurge while I bake!

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