augiegus’s BodyBlog

The title of this post pretty well surmises my life over the last two years. I had several odd ideas about all three topics. First off I never set goals in any facet of my life. I did accomplish a few things but I pretty much had an inner expectation to do certain things. I wanted to serve in the military, go to college and get a degree, and wanted be happy in living out my life. I can not say it was that the first two were a challenge that were internally set.

I do not mean to say that Marine Corps bootcamp was easy. I’d have to say it was the most traumatic physical activity I ever endured. It just happened too fast for me to comprehend that I had anything to do with the accomplishments and I did not have much (correction any) of a choice in the efforts. If they would of seriously asked do you just want to give up and head home I would of said yes… well at least during the begining of the process.

College was an amazing experiance after the Marine Corps almost felt like bizzaro world. I could of chose to make some internal goals for myself but I just did the bare minimum to get by with a decent grade point average. I majored in History and this was mainly for the fact that I am able to memorize large amounts of data. It wasn’t always easy but it was the easiest path I could of took for my talents.

The following 12 years of my life I just got by in all areas of it. I just figured there was not much point in trying. Why? I do not really know. I also do not really know why I went against every fiber in my nature in September 2006 and started setting goals for weight loss. I suppose I finally cut through all the lies I told myself of why I am alone and unhappy. I also felt like for once I could change my physical condition and really I got the idea from reading The Road Less Traveled. I really only remember one section from the book and it is when the author makes the comment to his neighbor who is working on a car that he just can not work on vehicles. His neighbor looks up at him and says, "You can fix your car it just that you do not want to give it the time."

I wanted to change my life for years but I just did not want to give it the effort and the time that was needed. It did take alot of both but to be honest I wasn’t doing much. I read up on nutrition and working out. I actually asked questions at the gym that I got a membership at and applied several suggestions to my workout. I also began to set goals, reached them, and set new ones. I was given an Ipod and drowned out the pain/monotony of cardio workouts that needed all the drowning I could muster. I actually thought about food portions and began reading food labels. I bought fresh veggies and considered eating dried flower arrangements to get more fiber in my diet at resturants (which I pretty well quit eating out for nothing is healthy on the menu). I changed my life and it continues to change for the better.

I was getting results and I was happy living out my life. Friends that knew me for decades as an overweight slob were baffled and gave alotta that a boys, but as nice as the praise of friends and family there was a much better method to measure success. It was subtle at first but I began to get checked out by the ladies (Ok I did not realize it was even happening but I kept feeling eyes upon me like I was shoplifting… sorry had a sorted youth). This began with the ones that knew me prior in my life and then by just regular ladies who I suppose I struck their fancy as they say (like gramps would say). Then came the dating about a year ago and well the good news was I kept working out though it was nice to have something to do on Saturday night (gym is closed). I am learning this dating thing and well though my mistakes are plentiful and glaring I am grateful for the perks and what a great thing to make mistakes at. It beats sitting at home alone watching tv.

I remember someone telling me that life does not have a destination where you finally arrive but instead it is the journey that is life’s reward. I flat out did not believe him but now I am coming around to that outlook. I put in more effort into life and have begun setting goals with improving my job, interacting with my loved ones, and getting a hold of my finances. It is a gradual process but we all have to start somewhere.  My body building goals are to get to the point that my physical attractiveness will overwhelm all the bonehead things I do and say on these new fangled dates. It is a lofty goal but trust me it is needed for it should keep working out forever and that will keep me happy.

Bodybuilding is a funny thing to me. What I used to dread with a capital "D" I now look forward to with a maniacal desire with a capital "M". Nothing was more dreadful then when my buddy/trainer/spotter Steve said we need to start doing pullups.

"You mean chinups… the other day I was talking chinups read about em in…"

"We can do them too but pullups are essentially blah blah blah….."

I blocked the old boy out of my mind. Essentially I will look like a nimrod for pullups are hard. When I was 18 in the Marine Corps I could only do 15 and that was after working out everyday of my life for three months now I do not want to even think about it. This conversation came up after a 8 months of working out (mainly cardio) and was begining to get some dignity. I thought those days of being so out of shape that people can not help but notice the struggling guy that is me in all my sweaty glory were over.

"Blah blah don’t worry I’ll assist you."

"Couldn’t we use the weighted lift pad."

"We’ll make more progress without it even if I have to lift you for all of the reps."

Great 4 sets of ten with a guy pushing me by the feet and then 4 sets of ten chinups with more of the same thanks to being wore out from the pullups. How can I get out of this? Luckily old Steve must of knew what I was thinking.

"You’ll progress look at dips."

Well he had a point there I could do 1 when I began those. No not one set but one as in are you kidding me one?!?!? I then thought I hurt my arm which Steve did not think that was possible with "such small of an effort" (actual quote). He let me slide that day then next week he assisted me lifting my feet for almost every one. It sucked and I simply hated arm day for after working the biceps then came the tricep routine which meant dips and assistance. My arms felt numb and would not work right at the finer things. Writing, scratching my face, turning a doorknob, or even opening the tooth paste tube sorta was impossible first couple hours after Friday workouts. I suppose people thought I was drunk (leg day would be two days before so walking was unique as well). All and all I could care less for most of my efforts were to get me home and to sleep for I was exhausted. All of this info was pointless now for I did improve and it did not seem to take too long (though I would often cheat abit by leaning forward and working the chest or not going far enough down but oh well it was a dip in my book and eventually my form would improve) so ok I’ll follow your little workout plan with the pullups and chinups.

Thank god for working out. I suppose somethings loom large in my mind but my body is often in better shape then my thinking. It was not easy doing pullups but it was not too bad (see dips) and even Steve needed some assistance. I would be woreout after back day but things did improve rather quickly and at least I was not way out of shape when I began. The shocking thing was chinups were pretty easy and after a very short time I was doing those unassisted.

Today things are great with back day. I have to give credit to old buddy Steve for insisting on the inclusion of both chinups and pullups and his method of doing all the sets with out a weighted method (clip to chest harness or knees on pad) to assist. Now I do all sets unassisted and I do my best to tear the fricking bar off the stand aka ‘cuse me while I kiss the sky…. play it Jimi!!!!

Upon reflection it seems the the harder you push yourself the more you will be rewarded. There will be more and more things that I do not want to do simply because they appear insane but I suppose I am willing today based on past success. Never say never actually means something to me today and for that I am grateful.

I was at work the other morning waiting for my relief to come on and the only thing I could think of was the line or two from David Lee Roth before the Van Halen song Hot for Teacher. You know the part where Eddie is twidling on the main guitar riff and David Lee ab libs, "I don’t feel tardy."

I suppose that is sorta how I feel about turning 40. I don’t feel forty. A good point is that no I do not listen to Van Halen much but my Ipod is instead loaded with Sublime, The White Stripes, Shiny Toy Guns, Wilco, TV on the Radio and the like. I suppose I believed when I was a kid that forty year olds just listened to Paul Anka and were busy yelling at the neighbor kids to get out of their yard.

I suppose it is a blessing to feel more at ease talking to those younger then me then those older, but it is a bigger blessing that I feel I have more in common with the youth. Some of this youthful outlook is great. I love working out. Most folks my age seem to be less fit and as time goes on just give up being healthy. What started as weight loss morphed into weight training and now is taking on new avenues of fitness. I Loved bicycling into work the last few days and flipping off the gas sign on the way. I plan to do this until late fall (gas sign flipage contingent on future gas prices), but who knows we may have a mild winter. The point is that I am in the best physical shape of my life and I plan to improve to a higher excellence as time goes on and that is not the thinking of an old man.

The down side was I could of accomplished much more if I was not so immature in other areas of my life. My youth was not filled with sex, drugs, and rock and roll but two out of three ain’t bad. I would of took them all but their is no accounting for taste in the fairer sex. It is sorta silly to look back with regret. I mean the first time I benched four sets of 10 I did the bar alone. The next week I improved. We all start somewhere and when we start is different for all of us. Why did I wait until 38 to get healthy? The only thing I can come up with was I was resting from what I thought was an overwhelming life. Now I workout to get more from life.

All and all it is a beautiful life. Their is plenty of things to work on but I suppose I feel rested and ready for the challenge. I keep my eyes open for the wonder and never say never. It is like Dylan sang, "Ah, but I was so much older then I’m younger then that now."

So I had a great workout on Friday. It was shoulder day which usually causes quite abit of pain on my old bones. Steve my friend that I work out with was back after a week with the flu and I was back after a week off tile grouting and what not as a second job. Long story short it was a light workout, yet as par for shoulder day I was very sore at the end.

 One of the gals that works at the gym also is going to the local cosmetology school for massage therapy. I know your thinking big deal you went and got a massage. Your lil shoulder muscles feel better. Thanks for the enlightenment. Well nothing is that easy for a neurotic like myself.

 I do want to get massages after my tough workouts but well there are a few problems. Ok first I worry about what people think about me. I have improved weight wise but I feel I need much more muscle developement. The other problem is actually about a thousand some problems called hair. I have alot of hair. It covers my chest, back, arms and well I do not need to go into the hairy details (hehe heh har har). I am working on improving my muscles every week. I know it will take time to be more ripped, bigger and stronger but the hair well it was time to take action.

I went to the cosmo school filled out the paper work and waited like 2 minutes. I suppose the lack of a wait was to avoid a person coming to their senses. I mean I did see the Forty Year Old Virgin. I knew it would be a tad painful but hey I have a tattoo, and come on I lift weights it can’t be much worse. The gal introduced herself as Ashley and was a very professionsal aestethic? Ashley took me back and asked me what I wanted done today and after a lil reflection I said chest. This prolonged the wait for she had to get more strips. I was cool with that for hey I was laying down all cozy resting my sore shoulders.

When she got back she informed me that she did not get too many chest request well to be honest I was her first. I was begining to worry a little for no one has ever requested this?

"Oh did you just start?" I queried.

"No, I have been here awhile. Mostly guys get their backs done."

The silence that hung in the air was thick as the wax on her hot plate. All I could think was why but before I could say wait stop I felt the warm liquid smeer on the middle of my upper chest. Is this how it starts? Does one stand at the alter with reservations about the impending marriage that will end ever so badly. The vehicle has a strange knock but well you did not have time to check it out before your vacation. You walk into the bar that looks a little rough but you figure how bad could it be.

How bad could it be? This was my last thought before the strip was ripped up. Pretty bad of course was the answer. First one indeed!!! I could see that and just when I thought well I get used to it. Rrrrrripppph the next strip closer to my stomach then rrrrrippph the one over my navel yooouuuch!!!!

"It is usually pretty tender around the stomach."

"I can vouch for that it is very tender." I panted.

There was a look of concearn on old Ashley’s face and then she said, "I’ll be right back." Which as tender as the center of my chest felt it looked much worse. Like some road swatted and burned out of the dense jungle. Is she quitting? Just fed up with the hair and going back to waitressing? Will I have to go around like this waiting for it to fill in?

No, Ashley returned with her intructor and got some sage advice on her first chest. I did not know that you pulled with the direction of the hair. Still hurts like a *@&%&*:"!! but it comes up better. I never thought of that. There are many micro hairs that are being pulled up as well and so will be less painful next time. Also it is important to use the hard hotter wax around the tough spots (those would be my nipples).

"You know maybe it would be better to say firm wax compared to hard/hotter."

"Well I suppose it does sound less threatening."

"Yeah firm seems like it maight not be that hot nor hard. This is my skin underneath here."

The instructor nodded but she also gave that look. It was the look past girlfriends have shot at me in my moments of suffering and one that I do not have time to explain here. This article is after all taking as long as the waxing which was about an hour.

It is three days later and I am glad I had it done for it will help to be able to see what areas I need to work on and any improvements that will eventually occur. I also found the cure for shoulder muscle pain is simply waxing my chest. I couldn’t feel my chest for about a day but I did notice the pain in my shoulders was unnoticed by my sensory nervous system. Somewhere in a laboratory a beeker is accidentally spilled and a cure found.

I was going through a fine food magazine and came across this recipe. I used to always eat pasta and or rice back when I was majorly over weight. I still try not to eat much refined starch and instead eat brown rice, whole wheat pasta and whole wheat bread. I do not know the numbers on this salad but you know what it tasted pretty good and barley is a whole grain so I figure that is a good carb. All the other items in the salad seem to be good for you as well so here goes.

1 1/4 cup pearled barley

1 cup walnuts

3 tbsp lemon juice

1/3 cup olive oil

1 garlic clove minced

1/2 tea lemon zest

1 cup flat leaf parsley fine chop

4 oz ricotta cheese

First pre heat the oven to 350. Once oven is at 350 take walnuts spread on a baking sheet and toast (be careful not to burn them if your oven heats hot) and set aside, cool, and chop.

Boil say two cups of water add barley reduce heat so barley is boiling but at a controled level. Cook barley for 25 minutes until tender. Drain in a fine colander and rince in cold water until cool and set aside.

In a large bowl whisk lemon juice, olive oil, garlic, lemon zest, and salt and pepper to taste. Add barley, chopped parsley, and walnuts and toss well. Mix in ricotta cheese with a fork so that it is all one big happy meal. Chill in the fridge for an hour or so and enjoy. I will say that as tasty as this stuff is it does not seem to good after a couple days so hey tell your sweety your gonna cook for them. I plan to use it as a side whenever I serve fish. Let me know if you like it.