one day till vaca!!
we are leaving for iowa tomorrow night! i can’t wait. i am going to sleep like i haven’t slept in eight months!!! of corse i’ll still be getting up at 3:45 to hit the gym before the family gets up… but oh there will be naps!
today is full of house cleaning, starting packing, making lists for what needs to be done last minute tomorrow and the hubby needs to take brady to see his grandma and grandpa to say goodbye for the week. he will have to pack when he gets home so he can be ready to go right after bowling tomorrow (he’s dork and bowls on a league, but at least he’s a talented dork… he’s very good! hehe… i actually love to watch him… i guess that’s part of love… adoring their interests too….) tomorrow will be jam packed… we will be in the car for somewhere around 18 hours so i need to have a nice big lunch box packed, plus the food i will take for the week there (i have allergies so it’s best i take my food… for a whole week… so it’s a lot) i’ll get produce there, but i made and froze lunches and protein pancakes… etc. anyway… i also want to get in an hour of cardio, yoga, and bodypump since i know i’ll be in the car so long. hopefully i can get an hour run in when we get there friday, but if not, it’ll only be my second missed day in 7and 1/2 months so i can’t complain… i know i won’t miss any comming home. i just don’t like how i feel when i miss, and i guess that’s why i am so good about it.
my sister and i are starting my 12 week plan to new years as soon as i get back, and i’m excited to see if it helps me get some more muscle shape. i’m eating more calories and i think i’m feeling much more energetic and healthy. i hope i don’t have to cut too many back when i’m done nursing brady… which i hope to talk to the doc about when we get home. i want tos top as soon as i can without having to put him on formula at all. we have been doing yogurt and he LOVES it. 
such a sweetie.
my jack book never came so if it’s not here by tomorrow i’ll be bummed to not have it for the trip, but it’s not like i don’t have ten other books to read so i’ll survive.
the bds book is SO MUCH more helpful to me. i’m on day four of it and feeling emotionally a lot better than i have in a few weeks. maybe i’ll just bust it out everytime i feel like i’m struggling… i like that it doesn’t get so feely… sometimes i do eat for emotional reasons but sometiems i’m just sabataging msyelf and it’s not some deep emotional reason. sometimes i just got hungry. bds works with that stuff AND hits the emotional stuff lightly… but realitsically the more i look at myself the less i think eat for emotional reasons. i mean.. i’m VERY happy with my life. i love my husband, i love my baby… i’m fascinated at watching him grow and change. i get frustrated with the crying and that does end me to the kitchen but every since i acknowledged that i haven’t been tempted from that at all… it’s more just knwoing the peanut butter is in the cupboard and it tastes good. haha… but why can some peopel resist and others have more trouble? that’s more what the bds deals with and i think it actually is hitting my mentality better… i’m a pretty logical no bs sort of girl and i think the emotional eating book was a little more fluffy than is longterm good for me. i did diuscover that i sometime eat out of rebellion… AGAINST MY OWN FRIGGIN RULES which is just rediculouse so i’m ganna put on some blue eye liner or something. that’s a big no no… but not as detrimental as overeating! haha.
so my spirits are up a little todya… if i make it through today i’ll feel a TON better because it seems that when i get on those kicks of really struggling i usually find thatif i can get 4 good diet days under my belt i start to have confidence in myself and get back on track form there. (funny cause the bds emphisizes confidence techniques to help… not like confidence in your looks, but in your ability to stick to this diet business!!!) which is a LOT of my issues… i get nervous and anxious that i won’t be able to stick to it and go okay then i’ll go ahead and blow it. ugh stupid!! creating my own worst case senarios… supid!!!!! supid stupid stupid!!!
okay well the child has become mobile and it’s time to chase him away from more danger! haha…. i think he’ll be fully crawling by the time we get back from iowa but right now he’s rolling himself around the room and getting cords, bags, etc etc etc… anything but his toys!!!
