tewie-building

my dad gave jeremy and i a wonderful talk right after our wedding ceremony while we were doing pictures saying that the american wedding has three layers.  while we mixed up the order of ours, haha, the layers are 1. wedding ceremony to share with witness of friends and family.  2. legal documentation and officiation.  3.  sex.  we did it backwards haha.  but we did all three now and i think he was right… we both agreed we even feel more married!

the wedding was PERFECT.  I mean really!  call me bias but it was SO beautiful and classy.  the weather couldn’t have been any nicer. it wasn’t humid, it wasn’t too hot, too windy, too cold, too anything. it was perfect!  other than the ant that was trying to distract me crawling around on my dress haha… it was perfect! it was sooo nice that i really only have one story worth even sharing: (but this is good)…

so my cake was a white on white designs three teir layer cake.  it was small becuase i also provided an ice cream bar and other deserts like brownies and such… but it was super cute.  the thing is that with my allergies i coulnd’t eat any of it.  so our cater threw in a free small cake for me so that jeremy and i could do the cake cutting and feeding each other bit. (this was a suprise we didn’t know she was doing… very sweet of her!)  anyway.. when we went to feed each other i bit into what i thought was either a very thick layer of chocoalte or a nut… NOT SO… IT WAS INSTEAD…. MY POOR HUSBANDS FINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!  the poor guy tried to play cool and calmly ask me to release my jaws, but i didn’t understand/hear him and thought, "oh my goodness i’m never getting through this nut, what the heck!" and bit HARDER!!!  his poor finger was looking rough by the time i finally understood that the chocolate nut i was eating was a bone!!!!  oh i felt SO AWFUL!  we got a picture of it.. i’ll post it if my guy gives me a disc like i’m hoping, but take my word for it… it was bad!  i can still almost feel the finger between my teeth! it’s a wonder he wasn’t really injured. ha.. in hindsight and once he knew he was only mildly traumatized haha.. it was very funny, but boy did i feel awful!!! ha!

after the wedding we went to the bar where i promised to do whatever the cover band pulled out of a hat for me to do. i swore up and down that i would… till i pulled out and read it.  with the mic in front of me, i said, "i’m sorry i cna’t do this" they inquired why and when i said because i have no money and it says to buy someone a shot…. haha… they got me one instead… and so went my night!  i’m starting to feel better now but it was a rough day yesterday!  first time i drank in over a year (thanks to the little sweet pea in my lap right now!!!)  i ate terrible, drank a ton, and had a blast and felt awful yesterday for it!  i actually gained over eight pounds in one night!  (i know it’s mostly water, but i will feel better when it’s off and leveled out again!)  this weekend we will actually be celebrating our one year annerversary! (weird right)  how many couples weddings have you been to where the newly weds got to remain dtanding for the annerversary dance to say that they’d already been married a year! haha…

so all in all it was a great time, and a perfect night.  went by way too fast.  i can’t wait to get some pictures on here.  now if i could stop eating the leftover chocolates and such, i’ll be ingood shape!  i just wrote up my next plan for diet and am taking it "easy" on workouts this week (still doing my daily hour of cardio… yesterday was the first day off  after 132 days straight of my minimum hour a day)  so i’m back to cardio and did yoga today but i’m just ganna take bodypump twice this week so i can have some time to spend with my grandma and give myself a "small" break.  then it’s refocus and restart!  i need to work on building a LITTLE muscle.  i got down to 121 and looked a little too "skinny" lean is good skinny is not.  so now to tighten up instead of down!

can’t wait to share pictures!

so it’s finally here!  tomorrow is the big day!  i am about four pounds lighter than my goaled weight and a little on the scrawnier side, but i guess that’s better than a little pudgy for my sense of confidence.  (i dont’ want to be skinny but it beats pudgy for a wedding picture)  and it does at least make me feel my work has given results. when this is over i can work on trying to put some muscle back on. so hard when you are chronically exhausted (the story of most new mom’s i believe but especially when you get up at 3:45 to go to the gym!!!)

WISH US LUCK!!

i’m not nervous, except for saying my vows. (we wrote our own) so… !!!   can’t wait to share

oh and pray for good weather.  this was a very expensive day to get rained out!!!!

so i’m right pretty much exactly where i was goaling myself for the wedding… that of corse means i have no breathing room for error but i am at least EXACTLY where i want to be so as long as i don’t eff up the next two weeks i’m golden.  then i can work on muscle buidling again.  i am back in my skinny jeans which feels so good emotionally.  i have been cheating once a week (bad bad badly) and still making changes every week for measurements even with my accidently two times in one week last week!  i really want to make it the whole next two weeks without any treats at all… i don’t see why that couldn’t be done right!

wish me luck!  i made it this far right!

so i had a bit of a bumpy weekend.  i found out that chex cereal made all but their wheat chex gluten free and i decided to try the new honey nut flavor and the new cinnimon… unfortunately i tried the whole box of both.   just when i thought i’d gotten past that.  i guess i shouldn’t let my gaurd down.  i will still be fine as long as i just get my butt back in gear now.  i screwed up and over cut the day after, and then when i was suprised with my bridal shower, i totally lost my head and ate way too much (can i blame the champaign? i haven’t drank in sooo long…)  so i am sitting here feeling a little bloated and crappy, but trying to remember that those feelings are what drives me back into that place where i can’t get out so i have to simply continue forward thinking and not focus on my two slips in one week.  i am good with having one slip a week but when it happens twice i start to lose faith in myself which is detrimental to my sticking to a diet.  it is paramount that i finish out this week back on track, but if i try to overcut to make up for my slip, i know that i will simply set myself up for further damage backpeddeling from my goal.  it’s not worth it. i can simply pick up the peices and move forward now because i’m CERTAIN that with two and a half weeks to go, that’s enough time to make even more changes.  it’s also enough time to undo the work i’ve put in as well though, so FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!!!  also, i’m not doing this JUST for the wedding.  the wedding gives me a reason to to have a goal date of some specific changes i wanted to see… but this is life for me… and i need to remember that and not freak out that i took a small step back.  two days is small… two and a half weeks.. that can be a huge step forward.

i did have an awesome workout this morning.  i put a fourty five on either side of the bar this and squated (unassisted, not a smith machine) three times for 15 reps (and even with a light supersetted exercise between!!!). the sad part is i think it hurt my shoulders holding the weight more than it hurt my legs and bum! there were two guys that stopped and watched the first few, totally prepared to save me if i couldn’t do it, hehe… it felt good to get it up on my own for three whole sets and show ‘em i’m i got it!  135 isn’t too bad! it was wierd when i got on the sled then, and could only rep 15 with two plates on either side… i’ve done a LOT  of those with three on each side in the past so maybe i was just worn out from the squats.   anyway it felt good to hit that weight.  now if i can get my leg curl back.  (couldn’t lay on that machine preggers and lost  A LOT of strength)

okay i’m falling asleep as i type here which is a sure way to get sick, so it’s nap time!

so i got up yesterday and stepped on the scale (old habits die hard and i’ve been good about not weighing on days i feel bloated and know it won’t be an accurate depiction)  so anyway… it said 122!!!  124 was my goal and i’ve been there for a while and had made a stretch goal of 120 just for the wedding (thinking if i got that low that i’d be working on putting on some muscle after the wedding, but it’s just so that i keep having a goal till the wedding) and can you believe i hit 122 now!  two pounds and three weeks two days to the wedding!!  my final dress fitting is next tuesday (not next week but the next) and so i should be good to go because even if i lose that last two after that apt (which i think it’ll be off before then really)  but even if i don’tlose it till those last ten days, what’s two pounds in the dress… nothing really… and i’m actually okay with where i am now for the wedding.  it was funny when i had my dress fitting last week, my mother was in the room with me and we were both suprised how far i’d come when i just had my head down peddelling as fast as i could… she was taking pictures of me doing poses in my wedding dress haha… my back was MUCH BETTER off than i thought.  what’s funny is i was taking my morning pictures just relaxed and standing there, but standing in that room and flexing, i had more going on than i thought)

please don’t take that wrong, i’m definately not where my goal is… i need to gain some muscle now… but what i mean is that i am going to be happy with where i am for the wedding and i am further than i thought is all that i am saying.  it’s so encouraging to do that… be focused for a while and then all of a sudden realize it’s actually doing something for you.

off to yoga!