alright, i’ve got a labor story so i’m ganna tell it!!!! on monday morning at six am i was admitted into the hospital. they started my iv pump immediately and i answered a ton of health questions (including do you feel safe at home haha). at seven o clock they inserted a pill that causes the cervix to dilate and begins contractions. the pill is only supposed to be effective for four hours but by seven at night i was still having steady contractions on my own… however labor was not progressing. i had a very bad chest cold and had not slept saturday or sunday night because i was up all night coughing, so they inserted a tape version of the pill that could be removed if labor progressed too quicklky and gave me a sleeping pill for the night. (i could not understand how after twelve hours labor could progress too quickly haha…) i was STARVING and miserable on account of lack of food (truley the worst part of labor if you ask me!!!) when i woke up my contractions were not in my belly, but instead shooting down my leg!! this was pretty painful so when they removed the tape and inserted another shot of the pill i was given a very nice drug called sedetal. (if you ever hafve the chance to try this stuff.. i highly recommend it haha) the next few hours were spent in some sort of drunken stupor where i would stop mid sentence and realize my family was there and feel the need to express my appreciation for them all haha…. it was great. then came the pitosin. i’d heard horror stories so i requested the epidural before they started the pitosin drip. unfortunately it did not even touch the pain on my right side where i’d been feeling the contractions, and instead completely numbed the left side of my body where i’d never felt pain to begin with! i may as well have skipped the whole epidural thing, but it wasn’t as painful as everyone says it is so oh well… i went back to sleep with the sedital and when i woke up the nurses were standing with their hands on their hips looking at the monitors telling me to roll over the babie’s heart rate was dropping. i didn’t realize this was a big deal since i was so hopped up and because i’d been told to roll for that reason before and it was not a big problem. well.. not this time. the next hour was spent with an oxygen mask watching my mother, my father and my husband cry. it was the most helpless hour of my life. i prayed into my mask over and over again. as they were drawing up the equipment to do an emergency c section, my hero of a doctor came flying through the door like a bat out of hell. she had not been there and was not on to deliver my baby… but she heard i was getting ready to have him if they had to cut him out. she was FABULOUS. she came in and checked me and nothing really happened for about an hour. my sister saw them prepping for the c section when my doc walked back in and said, "girlfriend that’s not the cervix you had an hour ago… do you wanna have a baby!!!" i couldn’t have been happier. it was so surreal!!! the whole room changed! (no seriously!!!!) the bed came out from the wall and lifted up real high… the ceiling had a light drop down out of it and all the nurses began to change scrubs. it was like being in a planetarium the way everything slowly transforms and moves so smoothly! then the fun began. the light was broken that was made to point over the docs shoulder from the ceiling. they had to rig one up with medical scissors and a towel!!! the docs were laughing so hard setting this up that we were all busting jokes and i had to tell them to refocus and i was ready to push because we were having fun hahahaha… who can say they were laughing and joking and had to get their docs attention to have a push counted! haha… it was amazing!!! she asked me if i’d like a mirror and i said no just keep going! she laughed and said well his head is out do you want to feel it!! UHHH NOO!!!! haha she laughed and said, "oh you gotta feel it! here let me dry a spot off!" wow… that’s weird let me tell ya!!! i still can’t believe i did that haha… so weird!!! i pushed for about twenty five minutes and brayden was born at 5:06pm on tuesday!!!! he’s BEAUTIFUL!!! (see my progress pics because i can’t work the other picture section… computer freezes up!!)
here’s the part nobody talks about… labor… not so bad. THE NEXT DAY …. HELL. nobody told me that!!!! omg!!!! jeremy was back and forth between changing the babies diaper to changing mine!!! i’ve never felt so awful in my whole life! and i wasn’t even cut and didn’t tear!!! i can’t imagine someone who did!!! they did have to do a lot of extra proceedures on me because this was induced and when the heart rate issue came up, breaking my water, catheter, the pills, the tape… etc…. so my mother says this is why i was extra sore, but omg that was awful. to make matters worse i still had that terrible chest cold and everytime i coughed i thought i’d lost my insides. it was the worst day of my life… but the best day too. it’s still almost surreal!!
i am not much of a baby person. i never wanted to get married or have kids and here i am with both…. and do you know i wouldn’t have it any other way. i can’t get over how amazing this little boy is. i never thought i could feel so much so fast. everyone tells you it’s overwhelming the love you feel… but i always assumed this was because those women WANTED that life. i didn’t… and… i can’t describe…. (oh no i’m crying again!!!) sometimes i just look at him and cry because i just can’t believe how much i love him. this has truley been the most amazing experience of my life. as miserable a prego as i was… i hope that God will bless jeremy and i to be able to do this again knowing what i know now! i mean… wow… look at that face!!!! i have the two most amazing men in my life and i feel like the most blessed woman ever. God really knows what’s best for you when you don’t. to think i’d have deprived myself this joy if i’d had it my way…. that alone is almost sad… but how it makes the world right that i didn’t get my way… and look what i have!!! i wish i had better words to describe the way it feels and the love. it was a long nine (ten) months… an even longer 34 hours… but every millisecond was worth it. all the worrying and all the tears… worth it. 
there’s so much i feel i’m leaving out, but i am a new mom and i’m VERY sleep deprived. (breast feeding is a whole nother task and issue… it’s not going well. i keep telling myself to hang in there… they say, ‘this too shall pass" i just need to remember that when it’s three am and i have only slept two hours all night and he’s crying for more boob!!!! it helps to turn the light on and just look at him and know… he’s so worth it. i don’t want to sleep anyway… i don’t want to miss a second… i don’t want to miss a new facial expression… and… gosh i don’t want to forget a thing. i wish i could freeze time and just hold onto this.
on a fitness note (this is a bb site!!!) i am pleased to say i lost most of the weight already! they said i had a lot of water and so i guess that’s part of it. i had gained 28-30 pds and only have 3-6 more to lose to be where i was. (i was between 124-127 and maxed 152-154 now down to 130) i’m definately softer, but i know what to do, so here’s to doing it! it’s hard to have the motivation to do anything that doesn’t involve holding or staring at brayden… and i admit to understanding women who don’t workout anymore after kids, but i am also reminding myself that i can’t completely neglect myself and who i am. and working out is important to me… so i have already begun to suck it up and start back. (i think the longer you take off the harder it is to go back) i started walking on monday (six days post baby) at my parents house (treadmill) and did an hour at about 4mph on an incline. it didn’t feel great, but i did that again tues and wednesday. today i didn’t want to go there to walk because it was pretty cold outside and brayden was having a bad fussy day with the breast feeding so i decided to stay home. i did an hour on my eliptical and felt pretty good!!! i may add yoga back in tomorrow depending on if i can get him to sleep long enough to do the cardio and yoga. it will be a few weeks till i can get to the gym to lift because i am not making enough milk to pump for a bottle feed while i workout right now. (this has been the most stressful thing for me. my right boob works like a pro, but my left is like a decoration… useless!!!) so if i can get lefty on board and get the whole pumping thing down i’ll be back to the gym before too long… but untill then i’ll be hitting up the yoga and cardio, and some weights at home probably starting next week. my mother has been here helping me this week so i am anxious for next week when i’m pretty much on my own.
whew! what a road. i’m so glad to be where i am now. i’m so thankful i’ve had the support i have in working out to the very last day and in my recovery in progress! thank you to those of you who routed me on!
one more time: look at that face!
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