tewie-building

i’m a pretty patient girl when it comes to people who want help with their diet/exercise plans… i really am… i LOVE helping people with it… i mean this is my passion… so i LOVE sharing it with people that want help and it never gets old to me.  there is almost nothing in the world to me that is more awesome than to see how it changes a person’s life when they become "fit"  (and i have a definit definition of fit… encompasing more than just diet and exercise… but they are a big part).  that said, i have total respect for the "hard times."  we’ve all been there… the times when you can’t understand what is so friggin hard about this.  just don’t eat junk.  just eat right.  just workout.  it’s easy.  the rules are simple… so follow them!  but then there are other times when it comes easily and we feel we can’t understand even then what was the problem before!  at any rate, i have a hard time believing that anybody has ever been able to say that they NEVER hit that point of struggling.  it’s hard to get out of… but man is it worth the struggle when you do, right? 

here’s the thing… having been there i do have patience for people who want to tell me they are struggling and that it is hard… i get that… i do… dieting is nto something i sail through perfectly without going through some highs and lows… my life changes and my diet will be the first thing that responds… it can take me, sometimes, a little while to adjust and get back on track, so i guess just because i understand that struggle, i have tolerance and patience for others who it does not come easily to.  HOWEVER…. there’s always a but right…..

i do lose patience and lose my drive to help someone who doesn’t at least TRY my suggestions.  i have a few old faithful standby’s that i go to when i find i’ve slipped into a rut… sometimes one will work, other times another will.. sometimes none of them work, but at least i can say i’ve tried the things i know to try.  if someone i respected gave me a new idea to try… silly, strange, challenging, easy and simple, time consuming or quick… i’d try it… because if i’m struggling… what do i have to lose!?!  i sometimes feel like people ask the same questions over because perhaps they are looking for a different answer?  i’m sick of answering the same thing the same way to the same people.  if they tried what i suggested or my idea or my thoughts and it didn’t work and they came back and said that didn’t work now what and i could offer a new solution then okay… but how do you expect me to give you a new solution and wrack my brain to help you when you wont’ try the LITTLE THINGS i suggest!!?!! 

this is not meant to anyone on here.. so i’m not trying to make any points to anyone.  i’m pretty sure that the specific people in mind would never be on this site… so i just really wanted to vent and figured that there are people on this site who can probably understand. 

i don’t mean to come off like i’m a genius and know more than anyon else… i don’t feel that way at all.  i do just feel as though i’ve been studying and practicing "fitness" for over ten years and if someone asks my help, i’d at least hope that they were gonig to try it and not waste my energy!

maybe i’m hormonal (i read this morning in my prego book that i am… haha) but i’m sick of it and i’m just done answering the same people. 

okay, so the thing is that i FINALLY found the secret to me and candy… if i get plenty of fruit and eat oatmeal once or twice in my day (now that i can have that again… celiac diet restricts that for one year until gluten free and then you can add dedicated oatmeal back in…. so i get to have that again and that REALLY helps)  i am pretty good with not craving the way i do normally.  (by nature i’m a sweet tooth girl… not much for a hamburger, but man oh man do i love cereal, peppermint patties, peanut butter cups, etc… cookies…. and the mother of all sweetness… ICE CREAM!!)  but i’ve found that if i need that creamy smooth feeling and i eat a peice of high quality really dark chocolate (not the kind that is made for milk chocolate lovers but the real dark kind)  it melts in my mouth and gives me that smooth creamy feeling i so love, but the after taste is tart and i don’t want more of it, so it’s perfect.  (see if it’s the lighter dark it’s not tart and i’ll keep going)  so i’ve been eating just a little bit of dark chocolate pretty much monday through friday (at home i don’t think about it as much as i do at work and on sundays i have a small bowl of ice cream anyway)  but since being prego, this i have found, has been the secret to keeping me satisfied, but not over indulging. 

then today came…

today came and with it, came the candy cane hershey kisses. hershey and God got together on this one.  then they agreed to  only release them at His birthday time, because they are a celebration in your mouth, and to help us sinners avoid gluttany!

i was innocently walking in cvs looking for a new notebook for my diet/exercise journalling when i HAPPENED to glance down and to my left and the bag was undeniably jumping out at me.  i immediately texted EVERY PERSON I WORK WITH and said, "have i got a treat for you!"  i walked in and they gathered to a common area for me to unveil them. 

i sang, "happy holidays, happy holidays…" 

anna, the least sweet toother of us all called out in excitement, "it’s the kisses isnt’ it!!?!!! the kisses are back!" 

i threw the bag in the air and my boss caught them jumping up and down in excitement, "OH MY GOSH… ALREADY!!!?!!"  

 now i know that this is bad and i know that you guys dont’ want to know about these little bits of better-than-sex satisfaction, but if you get the chance to try them and think you can control yourself… they are by far one of man’s greatest creations.  i say man’s becasue man did not create the foods that are good for us, but he sure did make some crap that tastes good once in a while, right… the one upside to these kisses, would be that they leave such a pleasant after taste that you may be able to stop at two… they are SO satisfying that you don’t even want to swallow, so you are less likely to binge on them and lose controll… believe me, you want to have your head on when you put this little suckers in your mouth. 

turn off your cell phone, close the blinds, sit on a lazy boy, and kick your feet up, because, hunny, these are that good.  

then.. snap back to reality, put on your sneakers and go work your ass off for the 55 calories you just swallowed! (i’m assuming everyone needs two like i do!!)  because they were worth every pavement pounding leap!

-ashley and jeremy sit on the couch, the computer on ashley’s lap as she checks out the hot chicks on bodybuilding.com (not gay, just motivating haha… uhh… i think anyway haha)  anyway… jeremy reaches accross the couch and rubs ashley’s swollen belly.

-ashley instinctively sucks in her belly at the thought of a good looking man rubbing her belly!

-both begin to laugh….

-jeremy:  tewie!!!  you are six and a half months pregnant, what are you doing sucking it in!!?!!

-ashley:  (holding her laughter) … it’s just what i do when someone touches my belly, i didn’t even think about it!!! haha… it’s just instinctive!!!

-jeremy: (also laughing)  it’s not going anywhere toots!

-ashley:  (laughter dying)  in that case i’m done looking at hot chicks hot abs on bb.com for the night!!!

so right after i graduated from cosmetology school, i was working in a local fitness center, sort of aimlessly, and  it was then that i met my now husband.  that was, what, five, six years ago?   when i met jeremy, i was too shy to have tried to talk to him about anything, much less gym stuff!  when i was competing, i remember he came to watch a posing practice one time and i was so nervous that i couldnt’ take off my dress.  i remember my posing coach laughing at me and saying, "since when are you afraid to get naked!" but… JEREMY ROGERS WAS THERE! and that was just a big stinking deal!  i was so smitten with him.  i can recall less than a handfull of times when i’d get on an eliptical after work to squeese in a cardio bout and jeremy would hop on the eliptical next to me to flirt.  (my head would swell so much knowing he never did cardio!!)  never in all that time did he ever ask me for workout help.  when i started seeing him a little over two years ago, i was still very active in the gym (not working there any longer, but still teaching yoga and meeting with a few clients here and there) but since the last guy i dated still worked there and made for some akward (long story) situations, i had to leave completely and joined another gym.  jeremy was working out at home at the time (if you call it that haha) and then a new gym opened that is very cheap.  he joined not long after my mother joined, so i had to join!  (hey my two favorite people were there!!!)  since i got pregnant, i quit going to the fancy expensive gym further west and have been doing my stuff at home or the little dinky gym they go to, but at different times than them.  last sunday jeremy said, "hey wanna lift legs together."  i was a little hesitant, knowing that i am still pushing pretty hard and that he and my mother worry about the safety for me and baby brayden.  i agreed if he promised to not babysit my heartrate or tell me i had to lighten off.  i also warned him that i still workout in a way that he may not be used to… so this could still be hard for him.  he laughed and said okay…

well… we got to the gym at 5:10.  by 5:30, jeremy was laying on a crunch bench just breathing (not crunching) while i did a few more drop sets on the leg press to "burn out" at the end of the workout!!  about ten minutes later when i was finished, i asked him if he’d like to go do some butt kicks for shits and giggles and he looked at me as though me may throw up!!!  at six months pregnant, i outlifted my husband, who i have to add looks like a greek god naked… he’s got a pretty hot body actually… you’d think he really busted his butt and ate right, but i’m actually on my own with all that! 

well that was uplifting for my spirit hehe….

then we went to a birthday party for a friend of his.  clearly i’ve been into this whole fitness thing for a LONG time, but most of the girlfriends of the guys jeremy grew up with are just starting to be more serious about being in shape.  i was HORRIFIED to go to this party, at six months pregnant with more weight than i care to admit gaining… knowing these girls were slimming down wasn’t making me feel better.  they did look great and their discipline was showing… i was shocked/flattered, etc… when i opened my email at work earlier this week and found a message from one of the girls saying how great i looked, and asking if i’d help her out in the gym for a while.  first lets be clear i don’t look great right now, but man did it help me feel better!  so i will start working with nelly this tuesday… i’m glad for the opportunity because it actually motivates me to know i have to motivate someone else.  i think that missing that motivation has been hard on me.  i can’t say i want to go back to working in the gym full time, because i’d like to find something a little more mentally stimulating, but it is my total hobby and i enjoy helping others in there. 

that’s where the last peice of this overly long blog comes in…  jeremy and i were talking, and next fall when the baby is not a new born and i’m used to new mommy responsibilities, instead of going back to work… it looks like… I’M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!  at first we talked about going back for kineseology, but lets be honest, in york county, that wouldn’t get me any job that a simple nasm cert couldn’t get me, so i’m going to get that nasm under my belt (i am done work in five and a half weeks, so that will be my focus till brayden comes… knowing that book inside out)  and then i can train for a few extra bucks while i go back to school to get my nutrition degree.  i’d like to get a minor in journalism on the side.  (secretly… well not so secretly since i’m putting it on the www!!!… my dream job would be writing for a magazine such as oxygen, but hey if not i’ll get published myself and at least i’m taking steps towards what i love instead of picking my nose like i’ve been doing the last four years.)  i’m really excited… to see my life actually going back towards a direction that i feel passionately towards.. AFTER becomming pregnant!!!  pregnancy is known to spell the end of a woman’s life, and instead, for me, i feel like all of the doors are opening for me.

 There really is Someone watching out for me up there.  i hope i can always feel as greatful for what i have as i do these days.  a great husband who is going to make a great father, a family starting with the man that has been my poster boy for years, going back to school for a career i feel passionately about…. a healed relationship with my parents and family…  in all my mistakes i feel like i’m comming out on the right side of things these days.  really who could ask for more than what i’ve got going for me right now!  i hope that this is taken the way i mean it and not in arrogance because i take nothing for granted right now… but if i weren’t me, i might be jealous of me!! how many young women get to say that!  i got everything i didn’t want, and in the end it was everything i needed…. how sweet is that!

don’t get me wrong… i’ve got a lot of fears and i’m scared much of the time lately… but i’m also… so blessed right now… who wouldn’t be afraid of losing everything they have if they had everything!

on monday i’ll be 24 weeks, with 16 weeks to go.  every morning i wake up and brayden and i have a little talk where i remind him that he is going to arrive three weeks early, to save mommy the stress he’s got me under without going too early!  now that i’m starting to feel more movement, i’ll say it’s almost fun to be pregnant for the ten minutes he’s moving around in there, but the rest of the time it still sucks. 

 i’ve done SO well with keeping my workouts pretty consistent.  i had to lighten up the weight a little obviously… but i have done awesome with not falling from the gym.  the diet is a little bit more challenging for me, but who’s to blame but me.  i keep dreading the "recovery period" after i have him where i can’t workout.  i was always afraid of injuries slowing me down… this is a whole different ballgame.  if i don’t get better with eating right, i’m really ganna be in trouble in that time. 

have you seen my nutritional motivation?  let me know if you find it!

we went in for an emergency ultrasound today.  i talked to the docs and between me leaving for vacation and concern about not feeling enough movement, they sent me in to be safe… i call officially for the results tomorrow, but the tech was very upbeat and when i’d say, "is that normal?" or "is that good?" she said yes consistently.  then i said can you tell us what it is?  she said, "i’m not supposed to but if you promise not to tell…" hehe of corse i promised!  and of corse i’m blasting it on the internet! haha….

that little radiology girl… she even teased us!  she said, "and right here, is… well what do you think it is!!?!!" haha i had to admit i thought it was a boy.  she smiled and nodded…. "yes here’s his little penis" (yeah we would NEVER have known what we were looking at haha) IT’S A BOY!  she measured me to be a wee bit further along than my first ultrasound.  it looks as though we will be seeing little brayden lee rogers the end of january-beginning of february!  (actually the new due date feb 2nd is RIGHT SMACK DAB in the middle of the first two dates given.. jan 26-feb 6)  i can’t wait to see those little fingers he was trying to stuff in his mouth!!!