tewie-building

i won’t be competing for a while… i held my breath on it and haven’t even gotten on this site in a while since it caught me so off gaurd….  i’m three and a half months pregnant.  i didn’t find out until the day after my "12 weeks out" pictures that i took.  it was the very next day that i discovered i was 6 weeks pregnant.  i’d like to stay active on the board to stay motivated and keep my focus.  but i had to stay away for a while to get a grip and because i wasn’t ready to post anything about it.  once you’ve had a misscarriage… you think twice before you tell anyone you are pregnant for a while.

 the first trimester is a rough thing!  i ate things i would have gagged at before!  since when do i like snickers bars!!!  when you feel that queezy though… i guess you’ll take whatever you really want that’s available… not always the best choice.  it’s been tough on me mentally, but now that i’m in the second and i’m starting to have a belly and not just look like i’m gaining weight like crazy, i guess it’s gotten better.  also, i’m not so sick anymore (not that i was nearly as sick as a lot of women… just the all day queesies!!!) and have been able to eat pretty healthy for more than a day at a time without it making me feel worse for the last two or three weeks.  what a relief!  i was a bit worried htat i’d get so used to eating poorly that i wouldn’t be able to go back to the good healthy habits i’d set before.  but actually, since i’m forced to eat more calories in a day (even if only 300) i will say it’s a little easier to stick to the plan with the wiggle room of calories.  then again, some days pregnancy throws the most insaine hunger you’ve ever had in your life at you randomly!  there’s no "three hundred over" on those days… and you can’t undo those days with extra hard cardio and a few less carbs for a couple days like before.  it’s definately been an adjustment.  it is getting easier mentally as i am starting to see a real belly and not just look heavier.  but what a ride for no further than i am….

scary stuff.

 jeremy and i legally got married a few weeks ago.  we are still planning our big wedding next year.  hey what can i say… i’m a girl and i want a big white dress and cake like we all do i guess.  i feel sort of guilty for the waste of money.. but i’m only marrying one person.  i won’t get this chance again and he’s…. perfect… so… i want the wedding with him.  how awesome it is that he’s even understanding enough to support me in that.  applause for my jeremys!!! 

so i hope being a fat bellied old married fart doesn’t disqualify me from the bodybuilding pages! haha… i gotta stay motivated to not give up all hope on having a decent body some how!!!  (wow people say terrible things!!!) 

wow.. bedtime.