April’s world

I started my new workout regimine today!!! It was hard to get my butt out of bed this morning, but I managed to do it! Yay me!! Somehow, I just feel like it is all going to be ok! I am going to stick with this! I have a work out journal and eating journal as well! I feel accomplished today! Like I got the gym out of the way, I wont have that nagging in the back of my mind all day! So…to everyone trying to make it to your goals, You rock, and you can totally do this!

~*~*~*~April~*~*~*~

Hola!

So, I am still sick, but today I just have this stuff on mind. Sometimes I get down because I feel that my weight loss is taking forever! I realize that we live in a society where we want everything right now, and hard work is rarely needed in anything anymore. All you have to do is simply push a few buttons to have a hot meal, pop a pill to "work miracles", click on a link to get news around the world…we are a RIGHT NOW society. When I think back on my childhood there is a sense of "right now-ness" but not nearly as bad as it is today. I have parents that dont take care of themselves pretty much in any sense of the word, and that for me is beyond frustrating. They are extremely overweight and heavily reliant on the medications their doctors prescribed to keep their bodies in the normal range of functioning. Food is their life, their drug, their very sense of happiness. I was raised to depend on food for everything and every emotion… It is a very difficult habit to break. I get angry when I think about the how simple it is to fix alot of the health problems in our country today! I used to work for a phamaceutical company and the things I read could fill books! If people just stopped being lazy, started eating healthier, got off their rapidly growing behinds, I am sure they would amaze themselves at what they could accomplish.

Ok…sorry, I get a little frustrated when I see certain things…

But I guess that is where my motivation is steming from. So maybe I should be thankful?! I know this sounds mean, but when I look at my family, it renews my motivation. It drives me to prove to myself that I am not like that. It drives me to show them what they do if they just tried. My new goal is to lose my last 30 pounds in 3 months! I am giving my self until June 1, 08 to be at my goal weight. As soon as I am better, I am going back to the gym first thing in the morning. Hopefully that will be in the next couple of days. I also am taking dance classes, and I am going to be starting guitar lessons. I am striving to improve on the quality of my life.

 I need to change. I need to be the best that I can be…so here goes…

I havent been on alot lately, I just got home from vacation. I was in beautiful California, and enjoying every minute! I was a little "off track" for the month of January, but I am back on track, rip-rearing to go! I am going to be bathing suit ready this year!  I tried the Martha’s Vineyard diet, "Lose 21 pounds in 21 days" and I couldnt stick with it. I am dedicated to losing weight, but I cant starve myself. I did it for 5 days, and I lost 5 pounds, which is amazing! I will do shorter sessions of it again, but I dont know if I will be able to make the full 21 days while I am still having to feed my family 3-4 meals a day. I am looking forward to getting back to the gym, I was having really bad chest pains and getting dizzy while I was doing cardio…apparently I have something called Angina. So I have to take it slow, and build my heart up slowly. I have to remember to breathe deeply too. I am sick right now, and am dying to get back into my normal routine…eating good and hitting the gym. I am giving myself until the end of this week to get things back to normal and in order. I am planning on moving to California again soon, and we all know the beach is great fun! I want to learn to surf this year too. Lots of plans! Just one day at a time!!! Any encouranging words would be great! I need motivation!

So since I have started on this Jouney, I have lost a total of 8 pounds, and I am proud of myself for it. Saying no to pizza and beer, yes beer…has not been easy, but eyes on the prize, right? I havent been to the gym in an entire week, I have been fighting this stupid cold that is going around!! I am going to the gym today however…I am going to California in the middle of january, so that is even more motivation for me! I want my friends to see how hard I have worked and what I really look like! I guess maybe that is a part of it…maybe people dont want to show the real "them" and they hide, the bigger they get the more they hide? I dont know…just my opinion! They are starting a weightloss competition at work, but not until after thanksgiving! I cant wait that long to "start", I have already dropped 8 lbs, so I am already at a little bit of a disadvantage….I dont know if I am going to join or not…either way I am going to lose the weight, and probably look the best out of ‘em all anyway!!! LOL, I am just kidding, I love everyone at the office!! So, That is my status update for any of you who are interested!!!

Talk to ya’ll soon!!! Wish me luck!!

~*~*~*~April~*~*~*~

I am going to keep you all posted, hopefully a couple of times a week…My journey through losing 50 lbs. I am a stay at home mom, 24 and looking to change the way I feel about myself. I used to be hott! Guys would always look when I walked by…and now, nothing…I realize that I am getting a little older but geez, I should still get some looks…I miss being me. I need this. I need a change. And Dammit, I am going to do it. For everyone who keeps telling me, "you don’t need to lose that much", or "it is so hard"…I appreciate what you are trying to do for me, but I am a skinny person inside. I wear a size 10, which may not seem big in this society today, but I am used to a size 5 and being rock hard. So for anyone out there who is reading this…get ready to see a new me.

~*~*~*~April~*~*~*~

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