Double Standards
I have went back and forth about writing this blog and if you are one of those people who get pissy when a blog doesnt have to do with training…stop reading!! Ok since I wrote my deal breaker blog this has been bugging me, love you booshnoogs, but it has….a woman putting out on a first date…deal breaker, I can live with that, but unless she is a raging nympho, you had to put some moves on her…ok guys is that a test?? do you see if she will take the "bait" and if she does its bye bye? i am no women’s libber by any means, but this is the one double standard that has always pissed me off…in high school the guy was a hero and the girl was a ho!!! explain it to me guys??? i really want to know your thinking on this one…
August 29, 2009 at 10:13 pm
I think that it is up to the individuals. I don’t think that putting out on the first date is good for either party. What is it really saying about both people if they do?? I think in order to find out about someone and to see if there is an interest, you have got to get to know them first before you make that move.
August 29, 2009 at 10:14 pm
Anyone who puts out on the first, second, or even third date is a ho male or female. Don’t get me wrong i LOVE it as much as every other male out there. But honestly what type of person puts out so soon? Or even expects it?
August 29, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Here’s my response. There is a double standard and there should be. But the way I’m approaching this is probably a different angle than you have. In high school, nothing should happen (besides maybe a good night kiss) on the first date. These are kids we’re talking about. But when it comes to adults, I doubt anyone (outside of a gossipy workplace) would care either way if a girl gave it up/got it on a first date or if a guy gave it up/got it. In this case, two consenting adults are acting according to what years of experience have taught them. The double standard lies between high school kids and adults, in my opinion, and not between men and women. If an adult dude and chick hook up on a first date, the guy is as much of a slut and the girl is a pimp. I will give it to you though, a double standard exists in high school too, between boys and girls. It’s a shame, but it’s reality.
August 30, 2009 at 7:34 pm
LOL. You never know when a random comment will end up really bugging somebody.
Here’s my point of view. Call me old fashioned, or a religious fanatic, or whatever, but sex to me is special. It’s a natural outcropping of feelings that two people have for each other. I’ve tried the sex right away route, and I really don’t care for it. Sex with somebody that I don’t have feelings for feels empty and lonely to me.
As far as a double standard goes, I think you are making some assumptions. Back in my dating days, before I typically would go on a date with a girl, we’d usually have a few phone conversations, or, if we were introduced by a mutual friend, there would typically be an opportunity to chat while we hang out in a group of mutual friends.
Without that stage, how would I even know if I wanted to date the girl.
Anyway, it was during that phase that I would typically find out their views on sex (as well as a host of other subjects). Sex always comes up towards the beginning because people naturally love to talk about it. It’s fun.
Anyway, so that’s typically where the sex on the first date sex thing came into play. It wasn’t like I was going around seducing women, and then dumping them for being too easy or something. That would have been a double standard indeed.
People can do what they want, and if people want to meet up and boink, cool, that’s their business. I’m not judging them, they’re adults, it’s just a compatibility issue with me.
August 31, 2009 at 7:28 am
I don’t think it’s all that premeditated, Anissa. I think there’s something men find exciting about "the chase". In some case, men are disappointed if they reach "the goal" too quickly because they lose the whole fun of the pursuit. (And the woman loses that joy too… what’s more fun that being actively pursued by someone who you thing is the cat’s meow?)
Just my two cents…
August 31, 2009 at 7:33 am
I was once married to a raging nympho. It’s not all what it’s cracked up to be.
August 31, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Way to ask the question!
September 1, 2009 at 5:46 am
you know me….if i want to know…i am going to lay it out there.
September 1, 2009 at 5:53 am
You definately have to be careful about people who put out on the first date. Most who do that then expect more from you. Its as if they instatly fll in love and think that the two of you are exclusive. So to me, someone who puts out like that on the first date does it out of desparation, thinking if i put out he/she will stick around knowing that they can have it anytime
September 1, 2009 at 6:14 am
If there is a real attraction between two people, who cares what date it is. If you are comfortable with it, do it.
If there is a pattern of behavior (man or woman) that includes sex on ANY first date, that’s a different story.
I don’t understand the theory that if a woman will sleep with me on the first date, there has to be something wrong with her.
People do you really think you are so unworthy of another’s affection that he/she SHOULDN"T sleep with you on the first date and if they do something must be wrong with them.
Attraction can be very powerful. It shouldn’t be the sole basis for a relationship, but why knock it? I sure as hell don’t want a woman who ISN’T attracted to me.
Just my two cents worth.
September 1, 2009 at 9:28 am
I’m fine with it either way. In fact, I’d say that people that don’t have sex because they are either following some "rule," or are excessively conservative are the ones with the problems - male or female.
I don’t view being a slut (male or female) as a bad thing either. If the person likes sex, more power to them! Not talking about a whore here (being paid for sex), just people who aren’t afraid to have a lot of sex.
The last woman I dated we nearly had sex the first night. That didn’t turn me off, but what did was small comments that told me she was highly jealous, and I got the sense that even being around other female friends (likely even the married ones) would have set her off. No thank you! Later!
So I guess I’m with Calves11 - high school there is indeed a double standard. As adults, we ought to feel free to do as we wish.
September 1, 2009 at 9:42 am
Something to remember. There is no known cure for any STD. If you don’t care then get after it.