I didn't go to the gym today. However, I did cut firewood for several hours and did a bunch of things like climbing up a 30 foot ladder to take down Christmas lights. Yup, got all hot and sweaty so I'm counting as a workout. My body, my rules Haha.
During the course of the day one of my dearest friends talked about moving away in the not to distant future and it really hit home with me. This person has talked about moving since I had them for the past two and a half years so it wasn't a big news breaker. But today was different, when they use to talk about it I use to see them all the time. If didn't see them the following day, then it be the day after that or certainly the next week. When I did see them frequently, we would often fight and bicker over silly stuff all the time. Some people actually asked me if we were married. Now that's funny....you'd have to know both of us to understand the humor. Sometimes one of us would get mad (ok, usually me cus I'm pig headed ). Maybe it was because we were so comfortable with each other and we knew it would just blow over. Who knows for sure? Now I don't see this person much anymore and I suppose that's why their comment feels differently to me now. Also, because I think they are much closer to actually achieving their goal of moving.
It caused me to have a flashback to the week before my Dad passed away. I had spent the night out with Dad at a sporting eventand while I dropped him off home, he was walking around my car to go into his house. At that moment I thought about how much I cared for him and almost rolled down my to tell I loved him. Then I thought - oh, I'll do it next time. Well, you guessed there was never a next time because my Dad died two days later and I never saw him alive again. Now he knew I loved him so that wasn't an issue, but I still wish to this day that I had told him that so that night. I've regretted it ever since.
Back to the present - My friend and I do not have a romantic relationship, but we are close and know alot about each other and trust each other immensely. It is an extremely unique and special friendship!! One of a kind!! I now realize that there isn't any more time to waste bickering and fighting with my friend and that I need cherish every moment that I get to spend with them from this moment on, because some day there just won't be anymore tomorrows. Trust me, give your special friends and loved ones your best every day because tomorrow you may not have a another chance. I know I'm going to.
I've been training for about 2 and half years now and absolutely love it. Wish I had started many moons ago to be honest, but it is what it is. The bodybuilding/fitness/modeling life style is a fascinating arena to live in and be around as there is rarely a dull moment. And if you are bored you always know that some event will be coming shortly that you should be preparing for. I myself have been fortunate enough to befriend two figure women and two models in addition to the figure girls who also model during those 2 and half years. Ya, life is good that way sometimes! I, myself, at age 59, will never compete but plan to remain around the sport for many years to come. It is extremely enjoyable watching my friends compete on stage. However, It must really suck to be a judge because all the competitors are all extraordinary! I never have seen a loser on stage, only champions!! A few months ago I was talking to one of my figure girl competitor friends one afternoon and suddenly she asked me how my weight was. It surprised me and I actually went home that night and weighed my myself. Holy sh!t I had gained ten pounds without even realizing it. Of course, I am a thinker so I thought about her comment later on. Was she just talking generally or was she trying to bring it to my attention nicely in an attempt to help me? I will never know the answer to that question, but I did drop the 10 pounds since then and plan on losing even more. I guess sometimes the truth hurts or can be startling, but you need to heard it from someone you trust or you care for if you are not seeing it yourself. I train my body so that I will hopefully live a longer, happy and healthy life. Others do it to compete on stage or do modelling and magazines shoots or end up on television. But when a person's body from years of training eventually far surpasses what might be considered a normal physique, what do you do with it in every day life? Obviously, you train yourself for yourself number one, but everyone likes to be noticed by other people as being "special or unique". Being special is difficult to deal with at best. How do you be "seen" by people if that is your desire? Young people can hang out at bars and clubs and can get away with abusing their bodies from alcohol for a while and still look good for a period of time. However, Once you reach your thirties and forties that all begins to change, when you burn the candle from both ends you flame out quickly. A person's good looks are fleeting. No one is immune! Do it in your fifties and later and you can start shopping prematurly for a coffin. I have a friend is in outstanding physical condition and rarely partied when I first met them a few years ago. Now they like to hang out at clubs and bars with a younger crowd and party several nights a week. I have already started to notice a change in their physique even if they haven't yet themselves. They have become softer, smaller and much less defined. I notice because I so much want my own body to get to the level of their prior physique. This particular person has lots of friends and spends all their free time with them, but I still see it when i view their picutures. If I decide to tell my friend about my observations, it more than likely will end up ugly as they do not take criticism well at all. I could chose to say nothing and see how it turns out, but what if I am right and it turns out poorly. Then it will be to late to make a difference. Or do i bite the bullet and spell it out for them and suffer the consequences of my viewpoint? Maybe they will some day realize that my intentions, even if the words may sting now, were pure, just like I believe theirs were with me about the weight gain. So, I sit on the fence wondering "whose business is it anyway? - in this case I'm making it mine or I can't call myself "friend" and I care about their well being!!
Went to my old gym this morning where I first started training 2 1/2 years ago. I have only been there once twice during the past year or so and didn't think that I had really missed it because I only knew a few people from there and they were off doing other things and gyms are gyms right?? I have tried several other gyms since leaving the original one, but never have really warmed to them or felt totally comfortable in them. Plus the people in those places were just not very friendly. Additionly, it stinks having to find the equipment that you want to include in your workout that night if they even have it at all.
So anyway, I woke up early this morning and decided I needed to work my legs. I have not had a really good leg workout since leaving my original gym. Sure I have worked them, but not nearly as thoroughly as I used to because the other gyms simply don't have as much equipment for legs. I had stopped going to my gym because a change was needed at that time. As soon as I walked into the door things felt immediately "right" again. When I reached the weight room, I got to see the gym renovations that I had been told about from my friend. The room was a little different than before and a little more compressed, but I found everything I needed for my leg workout within minutes.
The leg workout itself was the absolute best in a very long time for me. I smoked myself! Squats, leg presses, hack machine and everything else under the sun. I hit every leg machine for several sets (4-5) at moderate weights. Thank God I was smart enough to go light. When I started to get a little wobbly, I knew it was time to leave. Haha. In fact, I had to use the hand rail going down the steps outside the building to save the embarrassment of potentially falling LOL. I haven't felt like that or had to use the railing while leaving since my first legout with MsFitFern 2 1/2 ago when she taught me about all the leg equipment and crippled me for days! Here's the stunning part of the visit for me -I was there for about an hour an a half in total and shockingly I had 5 different people come up to me and say hello and ask me where I have been!! Sure I had seen all these people previously, but didn't really consider them friends before. It made me start to think about things on the ride home. I easily thought of another 10-15 or so people who I use to see routinely working out that I use to acknowledge while training that I would group similarly with these 5 people. Not to mention 4 or 5 other people that I was even more friendly with at that time and of course there was one very good friend of mine who still trains there too. Hmmmm??? So I asked myself this question - "Why in the hell am I not going there now?". It felt right, the people were friendly and the equipment is what I need and know how to use. I couldn't come up with a logical answer. What had caused me to leave originally is no longer a factor in my mind. So I've decided to come home......because as they say in the Wizard of Oz, there's place like home!!! And you know what.....they're right!!!
Why do this at my Age??
This is my first blog attempt on bodyspace and the reason for it is because I enjoy reading the blogs written by other people here so much that I thought I would take a turn and share some of my own thoughts. If you haven’t taken the time to read MsFitFern’s, Michelle Beck’s or Doc.Happy’s blogs, to name a few, then you are all missing out!! All really good stuff!!
I just turned 59 years young last week. Sure 59 years old isn’t terribly old by most standards, but not many people my age train hard like I do. Hence, it’s the reason I use the word “ancient” as part of my screen name on this site. For those of you who are curious, the “warrior” part of my screen name stems from my Native American heritage so AncientWarrior really means old Indian LOL. I think AncientWarrior sounds better so I went with that version!! 59 is definitely old when compared to the vast majority of the people on this site. So, sometimes I wonder why I put myself through this training week after week and even bother with this site. Here’s the best reason I can come up with.
Being overly competitive has always been part of my personal makeup. Even as a youngster, I had a strong desire to always win. Only then, I was always involved in team sports. I was fortunate enough to be blessed with very good natural athletic ability (thanks Dad) even as a child. While in high school, our teams were crowned state soccer champion three times and as well as once in baseball. I also was the captain of three sports teams – soccer, basketball and baseball my senior year. I don’t say this to brag, but rather simply to show my competitive spirit of refusing to ever lose. I had to be the best! I was also fortunate enough to play collegiate ball in both soccer and baseball. My motto has always been “refuse to lose”!
Well, none of us get to roam the athletic fields forever – it’s just a law of nature! So, when my two daughters took an interest in sports themselves, I found a new niche in my life as a coach of young girls. I coached soccer, basketball and fastpitch softball for many years, but I always enjoyed coaching the softball teams the most. When my youngest daughter was 12 years old, I started a travel softball team from my small town which played in weekend tournaments all over the northeast United States against the best competition available this side of the country. Five straight years we qualified for National Softball Tournament one year finishing in 9th place out of 609 teams in the tournament. Not bad for a bunch of kids from small town CT. Again, Refuse to Lose!
Well, the kids grew up and went their own ways and I was sorta lost in limbo for a few years without sports and let myself physically fall apart. Depression had set in and I hadn’t even realized it at the time. One day at work during a company picnic someone took a photo of me and I was astounded at how badly I looked. EMBARRASSED is more like it to sum it up in a word!! What had become of that young super jock I used to be?? I decided to try and make it better beginning that very day. Every day for the next six months I hit the small gym we have at work and made some progress, but not the type of improvement I was hoping for. Even though I had been involved with sports my whole life, I realized I was clueless on how to train with weights in a gym. Then I got really lucky at a local restaurant one afternoon when I met MsFitFern from this site and her strong, muscular and toned body just blew me away!! I believe it may have divine been intervention to be honest with you. I begged her to train me in the gym and she agreed to help me. During our 15 months of training together two nights a week, she taught me how to train all the muscles in the body. I was sore in places for weeks where I didn’t even know muscles existed. LOL!! She also taught me about eating clean. Fernie was surely a Godsend! I will fondly remember our nights of training together forever. What fun I had!!
Now I am armed for bear…..possessing the willpower and the knowledge to go along with my competitive nature. I say competitive nature, but it’s really more like “intense” which can be a double edged sword oftentimes and gets me into trouble occasionally. Being intense helps me succeed with sports, in the gym and at work, but it also makes me guilty of lacking patience with other people sometimes. So when my patience runs out I go off the deep end L. Yes, I need to relax more often, but it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks.When I first came to the bodyspace site, I quickly realized that everyone here was like me in some way or fashion. Many of you are already at fitness levels I will never achieve again, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to get there. Let’s face the truth, when a pretty, fit young figure competitive or ripped bodybuilder takes the time to be kind to me here and provides me with words of encouragement, it’s great for the ego and helps me to continue on with the fitness battle. Hey, I’m old, but I’m not dead yet and God willing I don’t plan on packing it in anytime soon. . So why would I do this if I can never get to the fitness level that I desire? Well, If I only get half way to my goal, it’s not like losing because aren’t I’m really 50% better? Or 75% or 80%?? I found out this is all worth it two months ago at a high reunion when the room was full of people (my former classmates) who honestly looked much, much older than me. OK, I cheat with some hair coloring, but other than that it’s all me. The compliments that night definitely made the hard nights of training well worth the time. It was that night that I discovered that I’m really 59 years young, not 59 years old because I refuse to lose!! Thanks to everyone who has helped me along the way…especially you Fernie!! - Art