This morning I found myself trying to find an excuse to not pack a gym bag…like I need to go grocery shopping, or I went six days last week i deserve another day off, but I just started thinking of a conversation I had this last weekend with a lady and her saying that I am beautiful, but if I lost weight I would be drop dead gorgeous…I like people who are honest like that, I appreciate it. The last thing I need is for someone to lie and tell me how great I look, I’ve been lying to myself for far too long, and thats how I got to this point. Anyways, I packed my gym bag, I’ll workout, then go to the grocery store…Its not like I have anything better to do.

Anyways, other then that, if I could just learn to fall asleep at a decent time I would be great. I haven’t weighed or measured or taken pictures in a while and that is mostly due to the fact that I am scared, I know that this month has kinda thrown me off from the 5 day celebration of the Fourth of July, and just summer in general, seems that people are wanting to get together, bar b q’s, family visiting, no excuse, but hey, it is what it is. I finally feel like I am 100% back on track mentally and excited to push forward and put 110% focus on reaching my goals, which is a real big step for me. I don’t think that I have really done that latley, lack of motivation in some ways, and also just felt like a little fun was deserved…which is a quick way for me to spiral back into old habits, but I’m not, and I’m happy I have my motivation and drive back and realizing what I need to do to reach my goals, and realizing that I can have a little fun and have control and go back into serious workout/healthy mode…I still need to work on it, but its nothing like before…I don’t even know who I was 8 months ago…I like this me a lot better.

I think that’s all for now. Maybe I’ll be able to fall asleep now that I got everything off my mind.