amysuds’s BodyBlog

I just finished putting away all my competition stuff for the season. I am so used to seeing it all over my house….oh how the mind loves to mess with you. Yesterday, I was sighing with relief to be starting offseason and stop the dieting. Today, I miss competing already. I feel lost without having my next show at least planned out. What the heck??

Ok…so yes….I am addicted. But I guess competitions are better than Corona’s…right??  I am more addicted to the CLIMB.

Yesterday I competed in my sixth show in twelve months….I am honestly relieved to be in offseason. The show was NPC Natural Mid States here in IL. I woke up yesterday and noticed something different when I was about to get ready for the show. It was not my physique that I saw….it was my face. I always wake up with major sunken crappy looking peepers that I try to fix up with makeup. I woke up yesterday with no loose skin under my eyes. I know, what does that have to do with anything? Well….it made me think immediately that my water balance was off. My monthly is due any moment and I notoriously gain 3-5lb right before and during that week. So….I was happy that I actually looked refreshed! That started my day off on the right foot. I weighed 130.5 lb for the show. My weight went up a pound from the night before. So…I was thinking my weight was right on and went on with the day. As I was getting ready for the show, I felt I made a mistake first off by wearing my hair up. A small thing, but it made a difference in how I looked next to others on stage at THIS show. Secondly…my tan came out way too light. As I look at the pictures of us all on stage now…I am the lightest or close to that. I don’t know how that happened. My stage time for pre judging went ok…I had some stomach pains right before and my tummy was not showing anything close to a 6 pack. But, I felt so awesome on stage!! I was somewhat disappointed when the promoter decided to drop the figure t-walk portion of the competiton. I am guessing it was a time issue for the show…there were 4 height figure classes and about 40 ladies. I think the t-walk shows a different side to a competitor and is important. We only did a three point pose turn during the night show instead.
I worked so hard the past few months …right through my back injury and then the flu for almost 2 weeks. The problem is that I lost muscle from not lifting extremely heavy for a few weeks… …for sure. My weight dropped alot between these past 2 shows. So the bottom line here is that I went on stage with less cuts….mainly due to uncontrollable water retention. My precontest plan was perfect and my coach had me stick with the plan that works for me to be stage ready. As I look at the pictures from the show…the bottom line is that I was not in as good of shape as the ladies that placed higher than me. I left that show re-motivated for the future….I saw some physiques that were outta this world
I went from 130lb Saturday morning to 133lb this morning. I NEVER gain 3 lbs like that right after a show. Darn hormones….I wasn’t prepared for that. Anyhow, I placed third in my tall class and am super happy to do so. My plan is to compete in a few national shows next year as well as a few IFPA Pro ones. So I wanted to write this for the ladies…..expect anything when mother nature gets ahold of you!! Ha ha……

Picture order…5th, 2nd, 1st, 3rd, 4th place left to right.

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After I wrote my blog yesterday, for whatever reason…and thankyou God…..my pain reduced by about 50%. I am now able to walk normally, and sit for short spells. I am going to try to do this competition this Saturday. I NEED to finish climbing this mountain, or at least try with whatever strength I have.

 I have not been on precontest diet or workout plan due to my injury. Layne has been so supportive, I am very fortunate to have the BEST coach out there.With that being said, I am what I am when I step on stage. I really hope I make it. The 2 hour car ride to the comp will be a challenge.

I want to send my sincerest thankyou to everyone who has sent so many kind messages of support. I read them all…I am just trying not to sit here too long.

I think what is going on with my back in my opinion is this…I pulled some major muscle or muscles…which were so inflammed, possibly a nerve was pinched. The spasms of pain in my hip/glute have subsided (knock on wood) ,but I am still in pain.

Sorry for the lack of order to writing this blog, I am rambling kind of. I am extremely tired. I have slept 12 hours a night past 2 days and I look like hell. I am currently only taking Motrin and Tylenol for pain…that is, it as of yesterday. The other meds were not doing squat to help me, so I just assume not put the junk in my body.

I will keep the blog updated.

Thankyou my friends, I truly love each and every one of you. God Bless

I promise I will write back as soon as I am able.

Yup, it’s a figure competitior’s nightmare come true for me. Last week on Wednesday, I was cleaning up my gym in my basement…reached down to put away 2 dumbbells….and RIP! A ripping back pain took me right down to the ground. I went to the ER, the pain is now less in my back and very bad around my upper glute/hip, radiating right to the front hip flexor. So they give me the normal meds, I am no better today than I was last Thursday. I saw my primary doc yesterday, he thinks it is a severe muscle strain with my back. I have to go to physical therapy for a few visits before he will re evaluate me. I really want an MRI…but they won’t do it yet. So…I may have a muscle pull or a muscle tear or a bulging disc or who the heck knows what.

I am heartbroken that I am unable to compete this weekend. But it is not the end of the world…I need to focus all my strength on fixing this granny up. The next 2 comps in November are up in the air. I have no idea where I am headed.

All I can say is that when I am in a lifting session, I am 100% focused on form, to the best of my ability every rep. The bad part is that AMYSUDS rushes around way too much for the rest of the time…and I probably bent over at my waist to pick up those dumbbells when I was cleaning, like a dumb ass. I have to learn to slow down.

I can’t sit or lie down without alot of pain. I am hurting bad right now typing this.

Thank the man upstairs that my oldest daughter is here visiting right now. She was supposed to watch me compete….but instead, she is taking care of me.

I’ll get through this…one way or the other……………..

I decided to write this blog today from my experience today. I woke up and weighed myself…my scale kept reading error and giving me crazy numbers. I gave up trying, no biggie. I am 2.5 weeks away from competition and I really want to make sure I come in at a weight where I am not too striated in my efforts to lose the leg/butt fat while working closely with Layne. Anyways, I worked out and took my shower. I always do the old body check when I get out. I look in the mirror and over analyze myself of course. I have a bad habit of doing that with too many things. So I look at my legs, flex and see hardly any separation. Then I turn around and sigh because my butt looks like a*s. This is exactly what I don’t want to do to myself right now especially. I have always struggled with crappy self esteem going way back to high school. Being the chick with huge legs and butt doesn’t warrant to be in the  "in crowd", if you get my drift. Or having your friend ask a guy for you if he’s interested and she comes back saying…"he thinks you are pretty but you have big legs". True story. So that stuck with me for a long time and I tend to isolate myself when I am down. Having good self esteem is something that I believe helps keep motivation levels up as you journey through fitness. I also think not liking my reflection from being out of shape had something to do with my drinking problem later on. Yup, I drank alone , no bars. The good news is I am 2 months away from 2 years of sobriety.

This site has helped me in so many ways become healthier on the outside and more importantly on the inside. I finally feel like I belong and don’t need to compare myself to others (which is SO not good to do). My self esteem is finally up and stable. So when I started thinking after the mirror look, I immediately thought about where I started and where I am at. It doesn’t matter where I am at with being fit. What matters is that I try as hard as I can everyday. Yes, it sucks to bust your a*s and not go to lunch with the ladies. But it’s my choice for more reasons then looking good. It’s the challenge of finding balance within myself to love myself for who I am today and commend my own efforts. I never want to swing the other way either. There is nothing worse than getting so hung up on yourself ,that you think you are a legend in your own mind. That is when your eyes come off the ball and you may not even realize your efforts are not what they used to be. This is granny talking…I have seen it all.

When you look in the mirror, just know you are trying to better yourself! Keep going like me and take it one day at a time. There are good days and bad days of course. But I cannot let myself go backwards with my self progress. I truly love this place. So many people here have reached out to me. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart…you all know who you are. I think I have come a long way and I like me!

I will leave you with this thought…it is from the Alcoholics Anonymous twelve step book. I think I am finally in step twelve. It’s about having a "spiritual awakening" and the "joy of living"…meaning "giving that has no reward, love that has no price tag." The value of "personal importantance" is lifted.

I am one blessed person.

Let’s say you leave a comment for someone. A compliment kind of comment…like if you see they made a bit of progress, or maybe they motivate you. Why would they visit your page sometime after you left that and not even say thankyou?? I mean, they are already on your page. Is thankyou time consuming to type? BAD FORM!!!!

I am now 4 weeks out from competition and taking it one day at a time. The greatest challenge for me is keeping balance. My drive is so strong when I focus on something, I literally could shut out everything else around me and not realize it. Everything changed last night…my oldest daughter is flying in to watch me compete for the first time! I haven’t seen her in SO long.Suddenly, nothing matters more than spending time with her…she is so much fun! I know she will want to do my hair and makeup for the show, we are sometimes like sisters..ha ha. But I am so happy, I feel like I already won a trophy

This is the toughest part coming up for me. It’s not so much the diet or cardio changes, but the way I look as I get leaner. Today I woke up and went to brush my teeth…got a look at my face in the mirror and YIKES, I scared myself! I look about 10 years older than I did 10lbs ago. My short term goal has changed as of today. As of today, I am going to take better care of myself…I will not walk around in workout clothes constantly…I will wear makeup….I will not wear a ponytail and baseball cap… all day….every day. My goal is to be the OLD me and wear a nice dress everyday to greet my husband home from work. I seriously look like a trainwreck!

 But on a bright note…contest prep has been easier than last time, so far anyways :)

This past week I worked my tail off to reach my goal of a one pound weight loss. As the middle of the week came, the scale had not budged. I was kind of confused…I thought for sure I would see a little bit gone. I have been working my a*s off…and nutrition is on point. Not a big deal, but I stopped to think about what I did differently. I did try cottage cheese for the first time ever….I kind of liked it, so I ate it 2 days in a row….two  1/2 c servings each day. Shame on me for flying through the grocery store. I bought fat free whatever…but it had 400mg of sodium per serving! OMG…I am one person that keeps an extremely low sodium intake. By the end of the week…my weight dropped 1.5lb after the salt went. Lately, I am in such a rush with everything, I make stupid mistakes. This past week was just that. I HAVE GOT TO SLOW THE F DOWN!!  By Friday, I woke up hurting everywhere. I could not sit, bend forwards, go up stairs without holding on… I don’t mind being sore, but this was WAY excessive. I’m not sure why, I actually rarely feel too much following workouts. But, I had to take Friday off from lifting (which I never do)….I learned from my hubby about "walking away" before you lose your winnings. The game will always be there tomorrow if I wanna play. Yes, it was while playing craps (he is the BEST at that table). But anyways…it is about going with your instinct. I had to rest . That afternoon (Friday) I was packing our travel trailer for a short trip with my family. I literally walked head on into the lowered awning, which was right in front of me. Not good….I refuse to live life under comp prep control and walk around like a zombie half the time. I am determined to make this time alot less stressful on my family and myself. The better job I do with food choices right now, the better my head will be on straight. I need to be a good mommy! So, by trial and error, while staying in macro plan and food choice plan from Layne…I am little by little figuring out that broccoli and fish only diets are not always the right answer. For me, the learning part is the most motivating in contest prep. I should be getting better at this…for goodness sakes, I have been in contest prep for 12 out of the last 15 months! But the way I see it…maybe I am in my peak phase of my physique, in my lifetime ,and should just roll with the comps right now. There will always be room for improvement, but I am more concerned with maintaining the muscle I have worked for already. I don’t know what next year will bring, but for now I am really enjoying the challenges again. Knowing the way I am…next spring could roll around and I may have completely different fitness goals. I change like the wind…but that’s just me