amyrose

I’m going to start out by saying this blog is NOT meant to be a pity party for me, just simple documentation of what I have learned about myself lately and how it effects me.  I am certainly not trying to make excuses for myself, this change of lifestyle is just that, a change, and there are many different ones that come along with changing your eating and exercise habits.  This is simply one story about mine, please bare with me as a assume it will just be a bunch of random thoughts.

The week started out OK, feeling great, a new plan to incorporate more cardio, you know what, beyond that who knows…..

My random thoughts ~

I’m tired and feel overwhelmed, it seems when I put myself first, my housework suffers, then the chaos at home makes me feel overwhelmed, so I stay up late to get things in order, then I’m tired in the morning and don’t want to exercise or prepare the right foods, so I eat bad and then my way of dealing with it all after awhile is to just sleep.  Some people get insomnia, not me, I just check out.  Actually this is something I’ve known about myself for quite a long time, but now it is affecting my fitness goals and I can’t have that.  Luckily for me I realized this sooner rather than later and this cycle only lasted a couple of days this time, usually it can go on for quite some time. (I guess I really am starting to change my thinking as well)  So, I have decided that it truly is time to rally the troops in my home and enforce the fact that everyone has to pitch in.  My kids ages 8, 7 and 4 certainly need to learn how to help out more.  They are great kids, and with the proper guidance I think it will help me (and of course them in the long run).  Bottom line, I’m tired, I don’t work well in chaos, when my house is trashed, my mind lives in chaos and I can’t focus on anything else.

Funny thing is, this morning when I woke up after days of eating bad, not exercising, basically feeling like $hit, complete with feeling like I was about 500 lbs., my belly felt strong, lean and you all know that’s my trouble spot.  I am choosing to believe it was my body’s way of saying "Please don’t give up on me!" (typing these words just brought tears to my eyes).  It is so true, I have to believe in myself, I have to believe that I am worth it, that I deserve this.  9 years of staying home, leaving the corporate world, redefining who I am over and over thruout these years and trying to settle into the the fact that it is OK to put myself first has been a challenge.  I am still redefining. . . . . 

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 29th, 2008 at 9:01 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.