So monday morning hit me hard today. I had a big weekend spending ALL day saturday packing, lifting and moving. I stuck to my diet, but REALLY was going thru some strong comfort cravings. I realized that the anxiety and stress and exhaustion were to blame and told myself to ignore it and work thru it. So I did.
Sunday was Father's Day and I decided to wake up early and do my cardio. I was the only one in the 24 hour at 6 am and it was actually nice. My daughter (7 years old) just kind of ignored it as a special day. We are staying at my parents house (which is a blog entry in itself) so the day was more focused on Grandpa. She didn't want to call her Dad so I didn't push it - what am I supposed to do?! Anyways, the family all came over and it was the usual scene. LOTS of wine pouring and meaningless conversation. By 7 pm I was done and just wanted to go home - too bad I don't have one right now! So I retreated to bed with a book and fell asleep - finally.
This morning 5:30 am seemed to come at me so fast and I just wasn't ready for it. I'm tired, living out of my gym bags and feel so ungrounded. Not like me at all. But, I got up and put my gym clothes on and headed into the gym. 45 minutes later I felt calmer. I sweated out some anxiety and being away from my family and that house brought back some peace. I realized I am "at home" in the gym and I can be myself and don't have to explain or not explain things. I just do what I do.