amaliaeddene

I was 86 pounds, and only skin and bones, when I was admitted to UCLA’s psychiatric ward for anorexia nervosa, a diagnosis that I had worked hard on for two years, but probably had since I came out of the womb. Of course, that’s an exaggeration, but not by much. My issues with food and body image built up for years and years, and when I finally left home for college, Fall 2007, they all spiraled out of control. I came home for Christmas break looking as if I had just escaped Auschwitz, although, I couldn’t see the reality of  my physical presence. After a doctor threatened to 5150 me, my only option was to seek treatment. I ended up at UCLA, one of the best eating disorder treatment centers in the world. Over the course of three months I unwillingly gained over 20 pounds, sat through hours of therapy, group therapy, Dialectic Behavioral Therapy, this, that, and everything in between. I spent 8 weeks inpatient, and 4 weeks in partial. During one of my weeks in the partial program, I picked up Oxygen at the grocery store. I had read the magazine before, and had even once dreamed of being a Figure and Fitness competitor, but never pursued the interest. This one decision though, to purchase Oxygen along with my gum and coffee, was the single most productive act in my recovery. I found something to live for. My therapist told me that I was jumping from one obsession to another, but I disagreed. I had simply found something that I had once dreamed of doing (I was a gymnast for 12 years, the transition from there to fitness would be natural) but this time I was really going to pursue it. My Dad, a former bodybuilder, and New Rules of Lifting have started me off on this road that I WILL pursue and conquer. My goals are both modest and over the top. Right now, I just want to figure out what the hell I’m doing, build muscle, decrease fat, and then compete. Someday I want to earn a pro card and be one of the best figure competitors out there. So, here I go. Watch me FLY. (bwahaha how corny)

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 30th, 2008 at 9:22 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.