September 27, 2009
That is the strangest headline to write for someone like me. Im used to being at the top of everything I do, with the thought that as long as I work at something I always succeed. EXCEPT when it comes to my fitness goals. This has been the one and only thing in my life that I just cant seem to win at no matter how hard I work. I bust my ass in the gym all week and eat super strict to see very little visible progress. Sure I have gains in the weight I lift, and I can feel the muscle under there.. but I just CANNOT drop fat! It doesnt help that I get all bummed about it and go on eating a buffet and a half to sabotage my efforts…. I have tried so many different methods of eating/working out but nothing seems to help. I finally am going back to what I did last semester in an attempt to repeat the slow, but sure progress i was making. I just want to actually LOOK like I go to the gym as much as I do… why does have to be so difficult?? Other people quit drinking a soda a day and drop weight like hot cakes but alas, not me.
All I can say is my motivation is still there, despite all this. I can only hope and pray that one day all my efforts will show up. I am also open to any encouragement so dont be shy. Thanks for listening,
ali
Posted in Training
July 1, 2009
Its the end of my first week back in the states after living in Italy for a month. I am very pleased to say that since I’ve touched down back in the US Ive been carb free and worked out 3 times! I have started a lenient CKD diet, mostly just making sure Im eating at least 5 meals that are mostly protein and good fat. My muscles are the most sore they have ever felt… its so painful to move sometimes but I missed the feeling! I let myself go a few weeks before I left and gained back everything I lost this past semester, plus some and now I have so much work to do if I want to make it to the competition in October.
I dont think a lot of people close to me understand why I want to compete, or even have faith that I will get my body in shape in time to do it. It is sort of disheartening, but I want to do this so bad Im not letting it get me down. I havent always wanted to compete, or even knew it existed until recently but it just fits so well with my goal of becoming fit enough that I am proud to show of my body to way too many people in not enough clothes…otherwise known as a Bikini/Figure competition. I figure I’ll stick with the keto diet to a ‘T’ for a month, see how my progress goes, and if there is enough then I’ll definitely sign up for the comp in October. If I dont feel like I’ll make it in time then I’ll just keep working and wait for one in the spring.
Either way, IM DOING THIS AND NOTHING WILL STOP ME THIS TIME!!!! I’ll wear a damn bikini by the end of this year no matter how f***ng cold it is and wear it with pride! Thats a promise.
-Ali
Posted in Training
May 8, 2009
I had started keto in hopes of losing a few more lbs before I leave for Italia late May. Somewhere in this last week I just basically said F***it and not only got off keto but went back to my usual, eating WAY too much. I havent been on the site very much either in the last week or so. Tonight I was taking a study break and started browsing through the pages of the ladies on here who really have it down; amysuds, msfitness, beautifulgrace and the likes… and I started feeling really pretty guilty. I dont see them eating everything in sight, getting lazy about their workouts, and just generally being all aspects of someone who is "skinny fat".
Guess I’ll just have to get back to it tomorrow.. I feel terrible. Not eating carbs may be difficult and stressful, but feeling like the Goodyear blimp and that Im completely off track and will never reach my goal feel so much worse.
–Ali
Posted in Training
April 28, 2009
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Whew… had to get that out! So I hired this online nutrition/training person and set out to really lose the fat so I can start working on building a good physique for the FAME competition in October. First week went splendid, I dropped fat so quick it felt like someone vacuumed my thighs right of my jeans! But for the last three weeks I have been completely STUCK right where I was!!! I have been completely diligent about my diet, getting my lifting in, and my cardio. I train with as much intensity as I can, and definitely increased my weights and strength. BUT WHY WONT THE FAT COME OFF????? Some people can just stop eating a bagel a day, or a coke and they will drop 10 lbs. Im doing every trick in the book and nothing! WHY???? I’ll admit, i had two days this past month where I had a cheat, but I got right back on it and worked out extra hard the next day. It makes me want to give up sometimes… and just eat the damn food I want to and be SOCIAL again and go have a few drinks, or out to eat with friends because that has been miserable… But I know that even if I cant lose the weight, Im healthier. (not that I really wasnt before) but being healthy will take me much farther than just being leaner.
I guess if I never make it to the stage that would be ok… but for the first time in my stupid life I want to wear a damn bikini and feel good about myself. I have achieved so much in my life through hard work and dedication.. and I know im going to go so much farther, but this is one thing that seems to be completely out of my hands and now matter how much work I put in I cant change.. which just makes me crazy!
I guess Im done… just needed to rant. Time to go eat my stupid tuna and almonds.
-Ali
I hope it doesnt set me back too much!!
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