aerika0613’s BodyBlog

I am having a very tough time in my personal life.  School starts today and that will take up some of my time.  I am not sure how I am going to manage everything.  I just want to be able to balance being a mom, student, and employee.  I still wake up at 4am and lift weights and then I do cardio in the afternoon.  I am trying to hold it together, but my life feels like a dam with a crack that keeps on getting bigger and bigger.  And at any moment can break.  Even though I don’t receive any support from my significant other, I do receive encouraging words from my family and that helps to keep me going.  I told myself I wouldn’t give up and I am not going to.  I need a calm during this storm!!!!

I had a very bad weekend.  I went to the state fair this weekend and I would’ve had a better time, if I had more in common with those around me.  I had corn on the cob and a corn dog.  And let me tell you, my tummy was not ready for the corndog.  I haven’t had fried food in a long time and it just didn’t agree at all.  I wasn’t as tempted as I thought I was going to be and I didn’t even have my annual funnel cake.  I just thought about all the hours I spend in the gym all week and that keeps me on track. 

I did exercise and eat pretty clean the rest of the weekend though, but I am having a lot of stress at home.  My husband does not support me at all.  I wake up at 4am before my husband and my 8 month old son, to workout, but last night my husband sayid he is going to go to work early just so I can’t workout. He does things like that all the time. He doesn’t agknowledge how hard I have been working or anything.  I have decided that I am not going to let him bring me to his level.  I am going to continue to try my hardest to reach my goal and maintain a healthier lifestyle. 

Okay so I am wrapping up Week 5 of my workout and I don’t want to measure myself or step on the scale.  I feel so good about how hard I have worked this week.  I know I need to get past the obsession with the numbers on the scale, but I have to admit that it gets to me.  I don’t want that stupid little (or large lol) number to bring me down from my high. 

Ugh…I have had two really long days at work and can’t wait to embrace this oh so wonderful 3 day weekend.  I am going to the CA State Fair on Sunday and it’s filled with all kinds of junk food. I think I can fight the temptation, so bring it State Fair.  I will say no to those deep fried funnel cakes topped whipped cream and strawberries that I get every year.  Time to break the tradition.  I will try to eat as clean as I can at the fair.  I will let you know how I did.

I woke up again this morning at 4am and went to the gym and did a little cardio and worked on biceps, triceps, and chest.  I felt really good this morning after my workout.  My legs and butt are sore from yesterdays workout, but I feel awesome.  I need to definately add some more stretching into my workout.  I have this renewed drive.  I can’t wait to exercise when I get home.  I have realized that I really enjoy lifting weights, more than I thought I would.

Okay so Monday I changed my workout and I am absolutely, totally psyched to keep on moving toward my goal.  I even decided to implement weight lifting in my exercises now.  I woke up at 4 in the morning to do a little cardio and bust out the hams, quads, and abs.  I felt so good after working out.   Tomorrow morning will be biceps, triceps, and chest.  Yesterday the drivers brought chocolate, chocolate chip cookies and milk chocolate peanut clusters into the office, I couldn’t fight the urge and had two…okay 3.  But I felt so guilty afterward.  I came into work this morning and cookies and clusters were still there, but the urge to eat them wasn’t.  It felt so good to be able to look at the sweets and say nah, not for me.  So pat on the back for me!!! Who knew all I needed was a little change.

I am really trying to get through this tough time.  I want to stay motivated and I believe that is why I am really writing this post.  I have the itch to just throw in the towel, but three months from now I don’t want to say, I could have been X pounds lighter or X inches smaller.  I guess I am still typing to give myself the push.  I didn’t do so well this weekend, I had lots of junk food, which is not like me at all.  I am really burnt out on my exercise regimen, so I am going change it up a bit.  I guess all I really need is a change in my diet and exercise plan.  My sister told me to just stick with it and I will see the results.   

I am going to be finishing out week four of my workout and this is usually when I feel most discouraged.  I just want to give up because I just want to see results.  I keep telling myself to take it one day at a time.  I need to remember that this is more than a short term "thing", and that it is something I want to include in my daily life from here on out.  I know I can do it!  I have been working out with my sister, which has given me a needed push to get me past this slump. I feel stronger, carrying my 20+ pound baby in his car seat is getting easier.  I have been getting some comments that people can see the difference.  I just need to keep on the up and up and challenge myself more.

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