“Eat Your Veggies And You’ll Get Dessert!”
I think we’ve all heard this line from our parents while we were at the dinner table. If you are a parent, you’ve probably used it yourself. We all want our kids to eat healthy food so that they’ll get the nutrients they need to grow and succeed.
But this simple line, and others like it, may actually hurt your child over the long term, according to behavior modification studies.
You may think that you are rewarding your child for eating their veggies by giving them dessert. You may be pleased to see that your tactics are working when the child does in fact eat their veggies (which is positive reinforcement for you, making it more likely that you’ll use this line again), while grumbling and making pouty faces.
Here’s the problem. Think about what the real message is that you are giving to your impressionable child. In this one comment, you are telling your child that eating vegetables is something that they have to be PAID to do. It’s kind of like picking up dog poop or taking out the trash… nobody likes it, it’s disgusting, it’s a negative activity that nobody would do if they weren’t rewarded for it in some way.
What is the likelihood that they wil eat veggies on their own when the immediate reward is taken away? Due to this, how many adults actually eat enough healthy food as they get older?
"You’ll Get Dessert!"
Now let’s look at the second part of the "eat your veggies" command. By telling them that they’ll earn dessert in exchange for doing something that they don’t like, you are also telling them that dessert is a GOOD, desirable thing that brings happiness. The message is clear. Veggies are bad, dessert is good!
Studies show that children learn to associate positive or negative feelings towards food depending on the reinforcement that they receive from their parents. That’s a big reason why many people label certain foods as "comfort food". It’s partly physiological (sweets and fat reward you with good taste), but a big part of it is emotional. We remember good times (birthdays, family barbecues, holidays, Grandma’s house, etc.) and the food that was associated with those good feelings. When we are feeling down, we immediately turn to food to lift our mood and put us in that "happy place".
We learn as children to classify food, activities, behavior, and more by what our parents and social surroundings tell us is good or bad, based on if we get positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, or no reinforcement at all. What messages are you giving your children about food?
As a parent, I will never use candy or junk food as a reward. I’m not saying that my kids will never eat candy (they do, just not too often), but I will NOT turn candy into an even more positive and rewarding experience that modifies their future behavior and attitudes about food.
September 17, 2008 at 8:52 am
How true. great blog.
September 17, 2008 at 8:54 am
Thankyou for your insight. I wish I had done this years ago with my now older children.It is just so hard to get picky eaters to try the good stuff!!
September 17, 2008 at 9:04 am
Thanks for the comments. amysuds, you bring up a good point. Children learn the majority of their attitudes about food when they are between 2 - 4 years old. After that, it becomes harder to change them, though not impossible. It just takes longer since they have to unlearn previous behaviors.
When I learned that, it was quite eye opening to me! My kids are 2 and 4 right now, and I thought I had time to think about some of this stuff later. This makes this subject very important to me!
September 17, 2008 at 9:04 am
amen to that!