__ladyluck’s BodyBlog

I’ve been getting my fine little ass to the gym every day, working alternating body parts, doing my core everyday, cardio in the mornings, and another set after my weights. I swore I would never want to see another medicine ball again on Thursday night, but after work (7AM - 6PM) it lured me back to the burn.

Speaking of burn, I’ve been lacking much on the one thing that we need more than training and proper intake of food. SLEEP. Guys, I’m so burnt out. I’ve got a solid 8 hours on me as of now, and even though this is an average for me (I’m a morning person, yet go to bed a little later than I’d like) I could NOT sleep over Thursday - Friday night. My sleep was a messy blur from 5 AM to 6 AM, after which I woke up and threw away the idea of cardio outside. I got on my ellipitcal and did a half-hour of light intensity. The reasoning behind my insomnia was a little more complicated than you might think. I am an honest believer of fueling your body at the correct moments in order to achieve the best possible recovery for your body. Alas…I got home from a work-out a little after midnight, and needed to wait until the meal afterwards had set, even though I was so fatigued already. It was then then I had to turn on the FoodNetwork and watch IronChef. I love to cook, and I always get excited watching others being imaginative in the kitchen.

One of my buddies had his 23rd yesterday so we got him a specialized cake. It included the most intimate message and was the hit of the night. I’ll post photos later tonight; I’m only at work until 3 PM today. And in the spirit of Canada Day weekend, a friend is incorporating a little twist into his usual party giving. We’ve (or are going to) set up tents in his backyard and….well, I’m foreseeing a huge mess. I think I will not be able to avoid the alcohol amongst the liquid slurrs and singing lullabies. Maybe a few ounces of Southern Comfort. I don’t like to mix my liquor anyways.

I’m so sore from legs yesterday, I might forego my gym session today. I cannot remember the last time I took a day off training. I know the body needs rest, but with my addictive personality (you see the Type A here?) it’s hard to let of something that gives you such a rush. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually.

Then again, maybe I’m overanalyzing my need for conditioning here a bit…

Maybe I’ll get another type of work-out tonight.

Feeling a lot more satisfied today after getting in some early morning cardio and some well suited ab work out this morning (consisting mostly of V-Ups and my new personal fav, which I can use my medicine ball with, the V8 –maintain your balance while doing your V sit-ups and take the ball passing it around from your left leg to your right in the well-known basketball like way, forming a figure eight). Needless to say, I’m still feeling it and will do my elliptical hourly cardio in a few hours after this tofu-sesame concoction of my last meal has set.

It’s so strange that I can already feel my obliques portruding much stronger during my flexes, and have my thighs becoming more and more shapely. I guess I mistook this shape changing for weight-gain of the wrong kind. I had someone comment on the tone of my legs this morning while at the pharmacy and then again while visiting my mother. Consistency will show what I have been struggling to achieve, and fearing to confront all the while. In a way, I understand how having this control to be able to form my body to its highest quality and performance would be frightening at first.

Finally, my Perfomance Nutrition supplies were Fed-Ex’d to me around noon, so it served as another pick-me-up to set my mood right. I’ve already completed three of the chapters online, and now need to focus on doing some on-paper work. Specializing in this field of sports nutrition is something I cannot keep out of my mind at any waking hour of the day. By achieving something like getting certified with this, I will put a genuine love into lifestyle and business worthy work.

Besides all of today’s commotion, I’ll be working at a friend’s independant retailer for the early weekend hours since they are going up to Ottawa for the Canada Day weekend. I was looking forward to a good bottle of wine to soothe my senses but seeing as I cheated (remember those Peanut Butter cookies?) two nights ago I might have to forego the liquor this time. I could always be sneaky and mix in a hefty portion of a dark diet drink into my glass as to not seem like a party-pooper. Otherwise, I would definitely be getting the looks, and questions…I know how my friends are. Next week I’ll try to schedule a medical examination. Last night I felt the usual onset of anxiety I get when I know my blood pressure is taking a dive. Not surprisingly, today when I went to check my pressure status, it was low. At times I need to remind myself that low blood pressure is not as ridiculously good of a thing as most people would suspect. I get weak-minded, cautiously afraid, set into panic, dizzy, and short of breath. My sight worsens, and that doesn’t help when I’m already stuck with wearing Daily Wear contacts for 30-days straight at a time (yes, I can sleep in them ).

And….on a last note….while picking up my new B-50 Complex (with herbal lipotropics!) I found a very solid new multi-vitamin. It’s the first I’ve seen that has a ground amount of not only CLA, but L-Glutamic Acid, Green Tea Extract, Spirulina, and Chromium. Talk about perfect.

Have a sweet weekend everyone.

(PS I just got the ABS edition of Oxygen and it’s definitely worth the $6,99 CAN. It’s packed full of useful exercises and diet information for achieving those perfect cuts and stamina while you’re at it)
(PPS Been listening to so much Disturbed lately, it’s…well, it’s ridiculous how much I under-rated them before)

It seems like anything I do goes into the wrong direction. Everyday I feel bigger, in the worst way possible. Even when I do my cardio religiously I feel as if I end up no where. I don’t know what to do right now, when I’m even feeling too self-conscious to go to the gym with a buddy. My thighs are definitely bigger than last week and my midsection is lacking. Part of the culprit could be the cardio days I spend on the elliptical; I’ve heard stories where it just goes against toning female lower bodies and honestly just bulks them up if you are prone to carry your weight there.

These things are too ridiculous to keep me from enjoying my life and being social…but I’d lie if a lot of the time I didn’t find myself pre-occupied with wanting to change my body and then just making bad choices, ie. not working out, or giving into my black/white mentality even further. Hell, I honestly push my lactose-intolerance out of my mind at times, too, and indulge in dairy even though I know I’ll be paying for it later. The same goes for fructose. I need to get over myself and realize people aren’t noticing an inch gain or loss anywhere on my body, especially not when I go to a party where most aren’t too sober anyways. In a messed up way I’ve realized I’ve lost myself as a person slowly over the past couple of years. I was confident in my writing. I was confident in school. I was not the most satisfied with my body at 40+ lbs than what I weigh in at now, but damnit I got male attention a lot more. I’ve had no will or desire to pursue a relationship with anyone for the past two years. Back then it seemed like I knew for a fact that I had much to offer, past my appearance. We’re our own worst critics, yes…but I just feel so lost lately…where is my power to get through this and see my entire person for what it is? We’re souls with bodies…not bodies with souls…

Just started my Peformance Nutrition course. I haven’t been this exhilarated over anything for a long time. This is truly what I love.

I’ve found over the past years my passion for the fitness industry has just grown massively. This past week I’ve entered in a CAN-FIT-PRO course to succeed in getting my Nutrition and Wellness Specialization certificate. I feel very young doing this and would love to hear some personal stories anyone has heard or has experience, from novice to advanced, if they have ever experienced the studious part of the fitness world.

Maybe I’m just looking for re-assurance that being 19 and pursuing this at this point in time (I’m going into my third year of Political Science — a complete contrast of what I’m trying to achieve with this) is not something absurd to be thinking about.

But damn…I haven’t been this excited to get certified in anything, haha.

I’m losing weight. I’m supposed to be GAINING MUSCLE HERE!
I eat like a freak. Why don’t it come. Ahh dude!

Today I had cake. A huge damn piece of Havana cake, croatian style. Supposedly this same type of cake was served on my first birthday. I enjoyed it so much I had to have some walnut frozen yogurt afterwards.

=)

I’ve come to the conclusion that I would really appreciate working at the GoodLife in the area. My resume will be going under the knife soon…I’m not sure what to include in my experience as of far (besides other jobs that had to deal with customer satisfaction) but the cover letter will be full of passion. I wish I knew more of what they were looking for. Maybe I’ll just stop by and ask them upfront. University life is a hassle, and it’s full of irony how students have to pay to be “tortured” like this. I mean I love my major, don’t get me wrong. But it’s still something you must push yourself to excel at.
At least I get to use the sweet University gym for free, bwahaha.

Alright so yesterday was 10 min Elliptical this morning, 20 min Pilates, 20 min HITT.
The menu (I’m still falling short)

Meal 1:
1 apple
1 slice spelt bread
2 slice lean turkey
1/2 soy sausage
multivitamin

Meal 2:
1/2 c green beans
1/3 sweet potatoe
3 oz tuna
1 tsp red pepper hummus

Meal 3:
1/2 c oats
1 green pepper
1/2 c soy milk

Meal 4:
1 six fuel protein bar
mixed veggies: baby tomatoe, broccoli, cauliflower, celery

Meal 5:
1 Whey protein shake

Meal 6:
1 c asparagus
1/2 c cottage cheese

Nutrition

Carbohydrates - 46.6% (132 grams)
Protein - 39.0% (110 grams)
Fat - 14.4% (18 grams)

Daily Sodium Intake - 1,503 mg
Daily Cholesterol Intake - 87 mg
Daily Fiber Intake - 25 grams

I’m guessing it’s all just a matter of increasing portions. I’m still struggling to get behind the old age concept. “Eat more, lose more (gain more muscle)”.

I just realized I have an hour glass shape. Hopefully the next few weeks won’t take away from my chest so much. One can only pray. I need to get my menu planning in gear.