Great Changes are happening! I can FEEL it!
Wow! I can SO feel the difference with this dinner diet change!!!!! Who would have thunk it? Actually, I am just damned stubborn when it comes to food (well, perhaps everything else, as well…..) and if it hadn’t have been for that scarey jump in weight last week, I never would have changed up my food! So I am GRATEFUL for finally finding the willingness to change it up! I can’t wait to see the outcome of this! I feel SOOOOO much lighter! I FEEL like I am cutting! So I can’t wait to measure and see the results! Now I might really get somewhere in terms of those stubborn areas of body fat!!!! Yay!!!!!
I am still working hard at the gym, and am gaining some of my old hard earned muscle back, which is a relief! Getting stronger by the day and week. It was a bummer to lose my years of muscle with my losing weight… It is funny, though…. I am just taking it like any part of lifting weights…. at the beginning of any routine change, you have to start light and build up! So it is not devastating, just another challenge! Which to me is what weight lifting has ALWAYS been about, AND I LOVE IT! I LOVE A CHALLENGE! So, that is cool! I can’t wait to show you all my results, too, when I get to where I want! I am very excited about that!!!!
In my personal life, my stupid ex boyfriend who I went on that date with the other day and who was pissed that I wasn’t going to stay out but was going home to go get up early to go to the gym in the morning, instead… He left a HORRIBLE AND AWFUL message today on my cell phone. How rotten. I am struggling NOT to let it affect my self-esteem…. Emotional abuse works, you know… it fills you with self-doubt, degradation, shame….. just the point of putting someone down!!!! He said I was controlling and stupid and blah blah blah… He said it was my fault that I am single at 45 years old blah blah blah… that everything is my fault, of course….
But that is not the reason I am single at 45! It is because I have picked LOSER BOYFRIENDS all of my life because of my low-self esteem! HIM INCLUDED!!!!
And you know what? Big deal, anyways! I don’t care if I am single! In fact, I REALLY LOVE IT!!! It is not important to me, today, to have a relationship or a boyfriend! For me, the point of life is to ENJOY MY LIFE and find happiness every day and be happy!!! And that is what I do!!!! My life is wonderful and I am SO SO SO GRATEFUL for my wonderful life!!!! So who cares?
It is wonderful to have fulfilling work that I love, my own house, car, etc.., and a gym to go to to KICK ASS EVERY MORNING!!!! It is wonderful to have passions and be able to engage in my passions!!!!!!!! And to have a community of friends who are positive and supportive and loving!!! And I am grateful to find these bodyblogs and find you all who relate and love to kick ass in the gym, too!!!!
And it is wonderful to have my HEALTH and my family and friend’s health!!!! How KICK ASS is THAT?
So f*** him, and onwards to the gym in the morning to KICK SOME ASS!!!!
