ZARia9999’s BodyBlog

OK, so I go overseas… stay there for almost 2 weeks and I don’t gain an ounce.. then I come back home, fresh from my "victory round" of seeing folks uhhhmming and aggging cause I dun’ lost all this weight, and what do I do!!!!

I get all loose with my eating, I get DISORGANIZED and I freakin’ forget what the word "Pre-planning" means… I mean, here I am re-reading blogs and people’s pages, but I know good and well that I know exactly what to do…

I’m so freakin’ mad at me right now, I could just blow a gasket!!! Anyway… just needed to vent ya’ll.. there’s only so much conversation that I can have with myself, in my own head and not be declared a NUT job.

So, any advise.. I’m at work.. I’ve had b’fast - whole wheat bread and peanut butter - I have no planned snacks here - but I do have my protein shakes which can last me till lunchtime (no food here - didn’t pre-plan for that either…) but I could have a sweet potatoe and go get a can of tuna at the CVS.  I could probably have another protein shake for afternoon snack and then I’ll have to "eat" something - so I think a quiznoss mini-wrap has about 200 calories so that should be OK for an emergency… no, let me rather do a Subway Sub - it will fuel me for longer…

OK, enough… you guys have far more important things to do then to read a bunch of gibberish about me trying to salvage my day!!!

Have a great day anyways… I’m going to do better, starting right now!!!

I’ve just come back from a whirlwind trip to London, South Africa (3 cities in 8 days..) and it’s amazing how my mindset about food has changed. Don’t get me wrong, I ate.. but I wasn’t reckless - not too much! And overall - the total damage that was done was around 3lbs!!! And people at home were totally in awe about my progress so far, so now I’m totally pscyched about the road ahead!!!

So, thank you to all the Bodyspacers who have helped me along to this point and to all the future B’ spacers who will be helping me take my journey to the next level… thank you!

So this morning, I had decided to try out a spinning class, just to vary my cardio a little bit. I usually do HIIT on the Incline Treadmill. The spinning instructor "yakked" way too much, and I feel cheated because I didn’t "sweat" nearly as much as I do on the Treadmill.

Question: Am I being unfair, or did I not exert myself enough… I mean, I thought I was doing the correct tension for the class, but I feel that I could have done more. I’m trying to hit my "fat loss" engines as hard as I can for the next 2 weeks and so this morning was a bit dissapointing.

I’m doing some more cardio in about an hour and then also a killer LEG workout… hope I get my BURN in good that way!

I have not seen that number on my scale in a LONG time, about 4 years to be exact - and previously when I saw that number, it was a flash in the pan! I had severely restricted my food intake, was eating cheap microwave dinners ALL the time and not FEEDING my muscles at all!

Now I’m living a lifestyle of making better choices, I’m making mistakes along the way, but I’m doing my best to learn from them and rise "like a phoenix" from the ashes. This journey is not confined to my body… my mind is being taken on a transformation journey, which is resulting in my life starting to show signs of transformation too… it’s incredibly hard, yet incredibly liberating at the exactsame time!

Thanks BB, thanks to all who’ve left encouraging comments and notes… you guys are helping to build this body and I deeply appreciate it.

becuase I had planned to, then things got in the way.. but at the end of the day, I honored my self-promise above all…

And this morning - finally after 2 months on a plateau - I’m out of the 180’s for good!!! Not that I’m attaching all that much significance to my scale-weight. My pants are sooo much looser. My dresses fit great, and all the people in my life are commenting on how good I look and asking what I’m doing!

Thank you so much Bodyspace Family for sticking by me when it looked like I was just another flaky sporadic exerciser.

I now consider myself a body-builder. Not a professional athlete/competitor.. but a person who has decided what body she would like to live in, and who is now building that body.. day by day, meal by meal, choice by choice!

Today is a GREAT day!

Well, Saturday I did a leg-work out!!! And I accepted help from an obvious veteran lifter.. .who helped me with my form on the Smith doing squats… well, let me just say.. I’m walking on my tippie toes today becuase of that help…. it killed my quads and my glutes.. and made me realize how incorrect I had been doing it in the past.

So for me, it’s all about going back to the basics and concentrating on my form…

And cardio… yes, cardio… I’m working on that!

I’m a little bit low on the energy stakes - I get up at 4:15AM to get my workouts in and I need something (other then coffee) that will help "pep" me up a little. PLEASE NOTHING ILLEGAL OR HARMFULL - if I can’t buy it at a health/sports store - don’t bother!

Any suggestions would be highly appreciated.

P.S. 4 kids, very demanding job and stressfull commute also added to mix!

PB!!! Walked-Ran @ varying Incline - HIIT - Burned 500 calories in 44.2 mins -  did 3 miles! I’ve NEVER done this before.. it feels so great!

Adina wrote a post about how to redefine words for yourself - well, I don’t LIKE cardio… I don’t enjoy doing it… but you know what.. I LIKE what cardio does FOR me.. so now, I don’t try and sell myself on the fact that I LIKE cardio… but I LIKE what Cardio does for me.. same word, whole new understanding.

Bodyspace is really helping me to BREAK out of my self-imposed shell.. the limits that I’ve set on high high, how far and how wide I can grow… what I can and cannot do and accomplish and what words I place next to my name -in my own mind - that define who I am to ME!!!

I thank every single person who has reached out to me, given me some advice, encouragement, or even just blogged about their journey.. becuase every little piece is adding to the whole of who I am becoming!

Ok, I get it now..

1. I cannot NOT have a WRITTEN PLAN - DAILY PLAN - Does anyone have a sample daily plan I can work from please?

2. I cannot keep a Food Journal in my HEAD!!!! I just put my food down for today and guess what, it’s 12:38pm, and I’ve only eaten ONE  meal…. at 7:00AM this  morning… I’m grossly underfeeding my wonderful body - which makes it hold onto the stores it has for food - cause I’ve been STARVING it from nutrition.

3. I cannot keep an Exercise Journal in my HEAD!!!! - enough said!

4. I need to go back to basics -stop reading about P90X, 30-day Shred, Heart Rate Workouts, etc. etc. and just stick to the plan I have and work THAT PLAN to it’s max, and then expect to see some results.

I need a reality check…. FAIL to PLAN (Food, Exercise, Water, Rest) = PLANNING TO FAIL (staying in the same place I’ve been stuck in for all my adult life….. )

Now make that CHOICE and keep making it daily till what you see and what you’re expecting to see match up!

My mindset is slowly changing… almost how the earth rotates around it’s axis!! I’m not going to sit here and stare at the ground (my body) to see this change.. instead, I’m going to look at the signs around me… night turning into day(me getting up to go to the gym - no excuses, no matter how hard my flesh is yelling NO!!!), winter turning into spring (the fact that my legs are getting stronger, I’m starting to feel muscle underneath all the fat….)… and one day, as the world turns….. I will go from Jan 1st to Dec 31st and the change will be so overwhelming…

But for today, and tomorrow.. and each day to come, I choose to lift my eyes away from the ground, and watch the clouds…

Change really is be-coming a part of me!