ZARia9999’s BodyBlog

MAKE IT A GREAT ONE FOR YOU!!!!

Why is it so much easier to critisize someone else for being weak, unfocussed or just plain lazy.. and yet, when looking in the mirror, you find a gazzillion excuses for your very own weaknesses in the EXACT same areas… well, the rant of the day is becuase I’ve just come accross a sheet of paper where I wrote my goals on in February 26th, 2008.

Well, sufice to say that I did NOT by any long shot reached ANY of those goals… and now I’m sitting here asking myself.. what is the point of me taking an hour or two out of my life to write down goals, if I’m going to stash it away somewhere and then again hap-hazzardly live my life, hoping to reach my target…. hmmm… somehow that seems like insanity to me… so, here we go.. I NEED to find a comprehensive plan of how to make my goals into reality… (deep breath…)…

How do I change ME!

My clothes are starting to fit a llliiiiitttttllllleee better… but then again, I haven’t been 100% on my new eating lifestyle, nor have I been to the gym as often as I should.. but still my clothes are fitting better, I’m feeling stronger and I’m making better choices, one at a time!!! I’ve faltered, I’ve even scrapped my knee a good time or two, from stumbling…but I’m walking towards the light… (clean eating, consistent exercising…)…

Downside… the scale is telling me that the total of my bodyweight has increased by 3lbs… my mind tells me that the % of muscle has increased relative to the % of fat, hence the upswing in the numbers.. my heart is telling me that I’m just FAT… so herein lies the dicotomy of being me…. who’s report do I believe!!!!!!

And still …. I rise!

actually my husband says there must have been a smudge on the mirror!! But folks, I’m really feeling the difference INSIDE of me more then ANYTHING!!!

So, with 2009 peeping at us over the horizon.. I’m so glad that I’m meeting it with an ALREADY RESOLVED mind.. a grit and a "CAN DO" attitude…

I’m going to bust my hiney in the gym this afternoon.. it’s LEGS day, and then I’m going to be on top of the world about it!! I’m loving this new lifestyle, of choice - rather then chance - of taking responsibility when I mess up, and also knowing that ONE mis-step is not failure, just another notch in the "Learning Experience" belt.. just one more way "NOT" to do this…

Why must people have BIRTHDAYS… so I HAVE to celebrate at my FAVORITE restuarant and then….. (blah, blah, blah….)….

Old me: "I had to go, they celebrated my birthday!! And it’s my FAVORITE Restuarant.." and I can always just make myself sick afterwards…"…

New me: "I’ve chosen to go eat, I could have eaten something prior to the lunch - therefor not being that hungry, I could have also made healthier choices when I was there.. - I can go and do extra cardio tonight and a bit more tomorrow morning!"….

Whew this fighting with me is hard work - I wonder if it burns any calories?????

It’s been a few days now.. I’ve been kinda consistent and here comes that old mindset… I missed the gym yesterday, entirely becuase of not being gritty enough to FIGHT against the things that were working towards me NOT going!

This morning, my alarm didn’t go off.. (becuase I’d set it to silent, and didn’t doublecheck before I went to bed…) so the sum total is that I’m really at a crossroads with myself.. do I continue this hum-drum excistence or do I break free of the things that have ALWAYS stood in my way…

I want to do this, but how badly do I want to… 65% is just not enough… "I want to break free!!!!!"

It’s been a few days now.. I’ve been kinda consistent and here comes that old mindset… I missed the gym yesterday, entirely becuase of not being gritty enough to FIGHT against the things that were working towards me NOT going!

This morning, my alarm didn’t go off.. (becuase I’d set it to silent, and didn’t doublecheck before I went to bed…) so the sum total is that I’m really at a crossroads with myself.. do I continue this hum-drum excistence or do I break free of the things that have ALWAYS stood in my way…

I want to do this, but how badly do I want to… 65% is just not enough… "I want to break free!!!!!"

After a weekend of Celebrations, it’s time to face the music. Just got back from a good cardio/strength combo workout.. it’s good. I need to UP my cardio significantly. My hubby is out of town on businiess, this week and I’m hoping to do enough cardio for him to notice a difference when I "attack" him at the front door on Friday night!!! Grrrrrr!!! LOL!

Today I got the final results from my last exam. I have my degree!!! I can’t even put into words just what that means to me. I’ve made MANY mistakes in my life, I’ve taken so many detours and allowed so many inconsequential things to derail me from my goals.

But now, finally - with having 4 kids, a home and a life - I’ve committed and done it!! God is so good!!! Now, the next goal is to get my mind transformed, so my body can follow! One day at a time!

today I really and truly didn’t FEEL like working out.. in fact, I work up feeling like I’m coming down with a cold, which would just be Murphy at his usual work in my life…

Here is the context of this post: I have NOT worked out all week, I have eaten clean - sporadically - I have NOT come up with a plan (on paper - not in my head, mixed up with all the other clutter!!), so essentially - I have not been moving forward.

But today - I pushed through my usual inertia at lunchtime.. I didn’t go sit and fraternise with my collegues (who talk a good game, but don’t really want to do what it takes to change…), so I went to the firm’s basement.. cold as all get out as it is.. got my stuff out, got my clothes on and went out there.. I didn’t have a plan (another growth area…) but I did end up doing a killer combo-workout. I didn’t have it in me to do cardio at all, so I did 5 mins on the treadmill to warm up, then I did leg extentions (maxed at 85lb x 10 reps!!!!) I had already done 55, 65, 75 each for 12 reps and I feel I could still push some more..

I did Biceps, Shoulders and Chest too.. so I feel really good..

Ok - food went well tooo - well, not great.. Had 3 slices of wheat bread with margerine for B’fast + some jelly - NOT GOOD I KNOW… and then I had some peanuts for a snack, before I went to work out.. so actually my food was NOT good… hence the need for a plan. I did just finish off a Healthy Choice box - 270lbs - so I don’t feel so bad!

Out-take: Need to have a written FOOD plan + written workout plan!

Ok - I have work to do, I’m out!