WinkBlu’s BodyBlog

So I talked to the recruiter today.  And wouldn’t ya know it……..the DAY I bought the Clauddagh ring is the day they changed the requirements for non-previous military enlistments.  So that door is closed shut forever.  More like slammed shut.

And now I’m thinking how pathetic it is to wear a ring I bought for myself, knowing the meaning behind it.  Well, at least it wasn’t expensive.

:( I didn’t workout at all this weekend. Went to the gym on Friday, but working shoulders started to bother my ribs again, so I had to stop.

I called a National Guard recruiter today to talk about enlisting.  Not sure yet how that’s going to play out. I had thought about enlisting before but was talked out of it.  My life would have been much different if I had enlisted then. I know I wouldn’t be going thru any of the things I am right now if I had chosen that path.  I’ve thought about more than once, and now I feel like this might be the right time or the last time I may have the chance.

Lately due to a lot of things going on in my life, I’ve been either feeling very down or stuffing all my feelings (literally putting them down on paper and carrying them in a small silver box I wear around my neck) and putting on a brave face.  Having a really hard time with that today.  The weekends are so much harder as I don’t have work or the gym to focus on.  Lol I’m the only person I know who doesn’t like the weekends.

Against knowing that I shouldn’t have, I bought a Claddagh ring yesterday…for myself. Traditionally they are to be purchased for a friend or love. And it’s supposed to be very bad luck to purchase one for yourself.  I knew that.  But I really wanted one and have never received one. There’s a little more to why I wanted one now, but that’s one of those things that are in my little ‘box’.  Maybe it will have the opposite effect and bring me good luck?

Ok, so I’m sitting at my desk at work BORED out of my mind!!!  Hour and a half before I can leave for the gym and I want to go NOW!!!  Want to get the weekend started :0

Decided I need to get hardcore and serious about my goals so ………  (pause for effect) I need to stop having a few ‘adult beverages’ on the weekend.  Shocking, I know! :-p  So this is my last weekend of having ‘fun’ on the weekends and I want to go out with a BANG!  :D  and since I’m allowed one cheat meal on my CHA diet (and have been so good and haven’t had one in two weeks (Yay me!) I’m hitting Five Guys for a burger and the WORLDS BEST FRIES after the gym.

Lets Get This Party Started ! Have a great weekend everyone! :)

Catchy, isn’t it?   Yes, I managed to pop my ribs in my sleep (again!) night before last.  My Chiropractor loves me!!!!

The ironic part?  The night before, I had a dream that I was in England, during the Dark Ages, and was the leader of a band of rebels.  My superpower seemed to be that I could ‘freeze’ people :)  So I’m running thru the streets and tunnels of London, saving my peeps and I wake up feeling great!  (I mean, who wouldn’t, right?)

But the next night, no dream, no superpower….and I roll over an pop a rib!

I rock like that :)
(Hopefully my tales of woe has brightened someones day and caused a chuckle)

I started the CHA diet and ATS workout from Team SciVation last week (diet last week, started w/o this week).  I’ve done great with the diet and have stuck to it to a ‘T’.  And I dropped 5.7# in the first week. Most of which I assume is water weight.
For some odd reason, I decided to try Hydroxycut also.  Thought a little extra help would be good. I don’t have a lot of weight to lose, just want to drop bf % and lean out.  However, I’ve been on the HC since Saturday (having no probs with it)…..but I jumped on the scale this morning (i know! dumb!)………….and I’m down another 4+ pounds.  Since Friday!!  :-/

Now DONT GET ME WRONG!  I’m glad for the loss, but that’s almost 10# in 10 days!  I doubled checked with a few scales here at work (lol you wouldn’t believe how many scales are in this building!!)  and they’re all reading the same thing, within a pound.

Is taking the HC along with the improved diet and workout TOO much? Is there such a thing as TOO much?  I feel great, not gittery, plenty of energy…. IDK? Suggestions?

Thanks !

Lol, that seems to have been my life lately….NO MORE!  I had an awesome workout last night and after a VERY strange dream last night, decided to get my head on straight and get to it! :)

I started Team Scivation’s CHA diet and ATS training.  Been doing the diet for the past week, which I’m positive is the reason for the 5.7# loss this week :) Time to get to the workout routine. Different from how I’ve been working out; the split is different (one less day of lifting??!?  don’t know that I can handle that!)  But I’m gonna give it my best and trust the pros on this one!

For everyone that’s replied to my blogs, sent me comments and PM’s in the last week, THANK YOU!  There are truly some remarkable people here.  You may never know how much your kind words have pulled me up and motivated me. THANK YOU (((HUGS)))

Ok, so I really should be finishing a report and doing 10 million other things at work, but here I am…jonsing to get to the gym (15 minutes to go) and ready to tear up some muscles!  Arm day..one of my favorites.  20# db curls? Not TODAY! Today I going to grab those 25# and teach my biceps who’s boss.

I’m done with people today. Done with being sad. Done with over thinking, over analyzing everything.

Watch out weights, WinkBlu has a mission!

I consider myself a reasonably intelligent woman.  So why is it I can’t find a way to let go of things I KNOW that I should? Why is it so difficult to wrap my head around what my heart already knows?  I’m not afraid of change, change means I’m alive and not dead yet.  I can stick with a diet, letting go of foods I enjoy but which aren’t beneficial.  I can spend time doing cardio when I’d really rather just lift weights.  But I can’t find the strength to let go of emotional things, emotional ties that I should.  Even when I know its what best, even if the other person wants to move on. I’m stuck in an emotional state I’ve created.

Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid

Even if it is Friday the 13th, I am SO glad today is here and almost over with!!!  This has probably been one of the hardest weeks in my life, but…………..somehow I managed to get in all of my workouts (some better than ever before) and stick to my nutrition plan. I didn’t cheat ONCE!  Which for me, is simply remarkable.  I can tend to be an emotional eater and when I’m not feeling well and things are going wrong, carbs called to me! Seriously, they do.

So I’m proud of myself for not letting personal things affect my workouts and eating like they would have in the past.  Maybe I’m actually gonna make this happen.

Mad Chicken - my newest dinner. Recipe:  Cook chicken any way you prefer.  Refrigerate.  Come home after having the week from HELL…  and start tearing into that sucker with a vengance!!  :-p  Mad Chicken is best used when you’re too po’d to spend 5 minutes heating up your dinner! :-p

Jeopardy Categories:

Things That Hate Me

$100  the freakin copier machines at work

$200 the lock on the driver side door of my car. Seriously???  all the other locks work but the ONE I use the most??

$300 the stupid pedals on the cycles at my gym (do we really need the straps??  how often does someone actually fall off the damn bike??)

$400 my cat, who I just paid $650 at the vets for due to a four day stink in the hospital…Ok, so I don’t like taking medicine either, but you do need to stay made at me for hours afterward? :(

$500  People who I’ve annoyed simply by breathing today :(

So a quick recap of my week: my cat gets deathly sick for an unknown reason, spends four day at the vets, but pulls thru.  To the tune of $650.  Having serious family issues: son who doesn’t seem to want to do anything with his life at the moment but work a crappy job, play video games, and spend $$ on a bike….but still doesn’t have a license to drive the car thats sitting in my driveway; a husband who took a new job for less pay, and STILL doesn’t get that it means we need to spend LESS….as I come home from depositing my paycheck from last week to find our joint account is -$550…(AFTER my deposit!!) to a sink full of dishes, unkept house and dh and son are out having dinner in the next town!  WTF???

Even though I just spend an hour and a half in the gym seriously hammering my legs and doing cardio till I was sweating like a wild woman……I really want to just go back and throw some freakin’ weights around!!!  AAARRGG!

*sigh* ok, I’m done ranting. Feels a little better to get that off my chest before my family comes home and decides I need to be commited.